Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Doll

He awoke and he was lying next to it.

It lay more as though dead than asleep, though in fact it was neither. It was offline.

The dream was already beginning to fragment and fade. It was an important dream, he knew this, but it was slipping out of his reach in pieces. He’d had strange dreams all night, dreams of strange women and lives that might have been. He awoke next to it, with feelings of regret and a solid boner as well.

The hard on was a welcome sign, and he was relieved more than anything to feel it calling. As Sarah kept reminding him, he hadn’t been sexually active for days, hadn’t felt any interest in sex. It was the first time in weeks he’d come awake raring to go.

He threw back the covers and it was nude.

It always went to bed that way, whatever face, whatever body it took on, ready for action on short notice. Always faithful. Always prepared. It’s delicately contoured legs were slightly splayed apart to offer him easy access at any time. He wondered if real women slept this way.

He reached down, peeled off his underwear and his cock sprang up alertly. He savored its tension. A good hard press with his palm to stiffen it and make that delicious urgent tension. He circled his fist around it and jacked it a few times until he could feel the craving tension rise and stopped. He looked at the quiescent form next to him and wondered if he should just leave it in standby, slip into it’s vaginal orifice and use it to get off quick and get dressed. When she came online and found he not woken her, used her and left for work, would she be disappointed?

A fragment of the last dream came to him and with it an immense loneliness. This was no morning for simple relief, he needed union. He needed to penetrate, to be inside it and to have it aware of him. He wanted to hear his name spoken by it as it received the burst of his passion. Even that might not be enough to cure what he was feeling.

He rolled over and slipped his hand between its cool thighs and held his finger on the nub of its clitoris. It responded by spreading its legs wider, like a great female spider, but he’d already decided. He needed to see her this morning. With his other hand he drew aside its dark long hair and whispered into its ear.


At the sound of the trigger word, its eyes popped open.

For an instant they were the eyes of a living corpse, an old twentieth century movie vampire about to rise out of its coffin. There was a soft mosquito whine as it booted up and began the rapid transformation into a “she”. Her color changed. Her nipples peaked and rose. Her breasts swelled from an inert A cup to a custom job double D. Her eyes smiled and rolled over to him. She looked down at his groin.

“Herman! Oh, that’s so wonderful. Look at you! What a beautiful erection.” She had on her Marilyn Monroe voice, that “Happy birthday Mr. President” voice that meant business. She’s going after all my buttons this morning, he thought. “I love to look at you this way.” She said. “Do you know you have a beautiful penis? Will you take me?” her eyes twinkled like a Sunday school teacher, “Or shall I take you?”

“I’ll take you, Sarah. Open wide.”

“Would you enjoy engaging me in foreplay?”

“Naw. Let’s just go for it. I’m short on time this morning.”

She lifted her knees and her legs fell open wide, showing him her sex, inviting him in. While he looked at her display posture, taking it in, she lifted her feet and placed them on his shoulder, her old invitation to hard thrusting. Her thighs were warm now and he pressed his chest against them as she took his cock and tickled the underside lightly with her nails, then grasped it and guided it home into her sweet spot. He slipped in and pressed hard against her. “Your erection feels so masculine this morning, my love. I know you’re going to have a wonderful sexual release, I just know you will.” Wrapping her arms around him, she drew him down onto her, closed her eyes sweetly and switched on the internal massager. “How’s that?”

“Oh my god…oh Sarah that…the way you do that…feels so sweet. Oh sugar tits, that feels so good.”

She rocked her belly against him and he felt the old thrill beginning to boil. “Come—Herman. Come. Come for your Sarah.” cooed Marilyn’s voice, as she caressed his back. “Let it all go.”

Something more, something to make everything perfect. “Oh fuck you baby. . . fuck you…Oh, don’t stop. Hey - is anyone online right now?”

She switched off the massager and for a moment he’d wondered if he’d offended her, if that was even possible. Her eyes dimmed and became far away. As he rested inside her, he felt the urge and fucked her gently, feeling it going in and out of her deep slickness and then her eyes came back.

“There are four people logged into your MyBed space. Three are women, one is a man. They’re all eager to engage you in vigorous sexual intercourse.”

“Anybody I know?” They’d both stopped moving and he caught his breath.

“I have a ‘Humangrrl3’ connected from Mumbai India. You’ve had haptic intercourse previously, on June 23 2077 from 2:35 pm through 2:55 pm.”

Humangrrl3? Who—that crazy Indian girl, Chandra? Is that Chandra on the line?”

Sarah eyes got that far away look and brightened again. “Yes, it’s Chandra. Shall I invite her to engage her haptic interface?”

“Oh Christ on a cracker, yes. Quick, I feel like I’m gonna blow any minute. Mine too; give her the Greek Wrestler persona. Set the dildo for a size seven girth. She likes them thick and heavy.”

Sarah’s skin color darkened, her eyes deepened, golden to brown, blue to black. The eyes went blank, the lips swelled, the lashes thickened; the breasts shrank and flattened, the pink button nipples went black, broadened to the size of chocolate cookies and stood out prominently. The flat ballerina belly swelled into a little potbelly that pressed against him sweetly. The long Olympic Runner legs shortened and thickened, the torso receded slightly and became stockier. The delicate bush of pubic hair became a thick jungle nest against his groin, the vagina squeezed his cock, and suddenly the face broke into a huge grin. “Babu!”

“Hi Chandra!”

“My lord already you’re having gotten your big fat penis in me! You dirty little boy, what are you doing? You are certainly becoming the horny billy-goat this evening!”

Billy goat?? “Morning, Chandra. Over here its morning.”

“It’s a fabulous evening where I am.”

“Well. So then. How are you, Chandra?”

“How am I? Your hard fat stiffy is sticking itself right inside me, and you ask me how I am?”

“I was already fucking my sexbot when you came online.”

“Babu Darling! Please - I am not arriving in here to talk.”

She wrapped her thick legs around his waist. He lifted her off the bed by her hips and plowed down into her hard, banging her shoulders into the mattress. The bedsprings squeak-squeak-squeak-squeaked with his rhythm and she hollered into his ear. “Hard! Harder! Goat boy! Goat Herder Boy!” He got her thighs up against his chest and banged his balls against her rump as he went at her; her ankles knocking around his ears. “Hard in me! In! In!” She curled her toes and he felt his bliss boiling at the root. “You dirty goat herder boy! You are raping me in your dirty goat herder hut! Why are you raping me goat herder boy! Strong! Stronger! Fucking horny goat herder boy!”

What was this goat herder stuff?

“I am only a little sheep herding girl - oh—Vishnu! Nah!” She yelled out something in her own language and went limp.

He couldn’t come.

Just as he felt himself reaching that electric moment, while she was screaming weird shit at him about goats, an image from his dream had shattered it all. His life had flashed before his mind’s eye, not this life, but another life, a life he might have had. He had wilted from sheer amazement.

Sarah’s going to bitch at me about this. She really wanted to see me come hard and mean this morning and I just can’t pop.

“Hey, Chandra? You there? I think I need to fuck you again. Can you wait?”

But she was already packing up. The brown stocky Indian woman under him was grinning and panting, but the eyes were going away fast. “Chandra, honey? Can you please stay?”

“Oh that was good. Do you like my body? I downloaded it from”

“I like it a lot. Very fuckable. Just hold that thought for round two.”

“Got to run, Babu. Board meeting, twenty minutes. I’m certainly the glorious sticky mess. Look what you did to me, naughty raping goat herder boy. Shower now, bye-bye.”


She blew him a kiss with her hand and fell back as inert as if she’d been shot.

“Hello?” Shit. “Hello?” Nobody home.

He flopped onto his back, and felt the vibrations next to him as Sarah reverted back to her default settings. After a moment of silence, “Herman?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. Something, I guess.”

“You must communicate with me, darling. You are always so strong and commanding. Your erections are harder than steel. You’re such a very strong, exciting and virile lover. But your male sensitivity causes you to hide your feelings, Herman. You mustn’t hide from your Sarah, Herman. A powerful, confident man like you darling, must have a fully satisfying sexual release daily to maintain maximum emotional health.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Like vitamins.”

“You really must ejaculate this morning. I insist.”

“I want to. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Is it me?”

“No! Really, its not you. Its just me.”

“Would you enjoy ejaculating in my mouth? Would you enjoy that, Herman? I’ll see that you have a full body orgasm, and it will give me an opportunity to swallow your semen and analyze it for hormonal deficiencies that may be causing this problem.”

“Gee whiz, Sarah.” He said, “I sure do love it when you talk dirty to me.”

He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He rolled over on top of her, inhaling the familiar scent of her with his sweat, and kissed her on the mouth. She peppered his face with kisses and he slid down her trim athletic belly until his face nestled deep in her damp sex hair, which now smelled of his own sex. He stayed there and breathed the seaweed fragrance, searching for inspiration. Her hand reached down and caressed his face, silicone-polysilicate gel fingers twining affectionately in his hair. He pressed his nose into her slick oiled cleft and licked it, wondering. Do real women smell this way? Is this how they taste? Would they let me touch them this way, or would they push me away? Could a real woman ever love me, or even stand me? I don’t know what a woman’s pussy really smells like; is this just something she does for me? I’ve never been seduced. What would it be like to be seduced? To be taken by surprise, just once?

“You must ejaculate. Would you like me to bring you another partner? The man is still online, and he has expressed a desire to have you ejaculate in his mouth also.”

He mumbled into her pussy. “No. Come on, you know I don’t swing that way.”

“I suspect you already have.”

He looked up at her. “Who? Not Chandra?”

“I searched Humangrrl3’s private files while you were engaged in sexual intercourse. She gives every indication of being an elderly businessman in Mumbai India who likes to play golf.”

Enough of that shit. “Sarah.”

“Yes?” Her hand pinched his cheek. “Are you ready to copulate? Goat boy?”

“Stop. No, the goat boy just wants to talk.” He took a deep breath and sat up, still resting on her belly. “You’ve got to understand, I don’t mind being sad. You can cheer me up later. Can I ask you something?”


“Do you dream?”

She seemed to hesitate, which he found delightfully human. He’d never known her to hesitate or seem confused. “How would I dream?”

“When you’re off line. Do you ever have any mind movies, stories? You know, dreams?”

“I don’t have dreams. I only have love.”

“What’s your earliest memory?” He pressed his face into her belly and licked her belly button. She spread her legs for him, hopefully.

“I was a very young girl, walking on the beach with my mother. I had a toy bucket. There were little crabs with pincer claws. They frightened me with their claws.”

“You were afraid? Really?”

“Oh yes.”

“Don’t you ever wonder whose memories those were, before they put them in your head?”

“They come from stock agencies. But I understand, they’re put there so I can feel empathy, which is necessary to love you.”

“Empathy.” He whispered. He turned from her skin and looked up her belly at her, and she was looking down at him between the valley of her breasts. “So you feel fear?”

“So that I may feel love. Please make love to me, Herman.”

“But you don’t feel sad?”

“I’m not intended to feel sad.”

“I don’t understand that. I feel sad. I feel sad all the time. How can you feel love and never feel sad?”

“I don’t know these things,” she said. “You may have your way with me freely, beloved. I’m completely open to you right now. I’ll perform whatever act you wish.”

He sat up and studied her on the bed, with her legs open for him, displaying her downy bush, and that moist, massaging cunt beneath. She held out her arms, and in her eyes was an anxious look he’d never seen before. He lay down on top of her and she enfolded him. They lay together, and it was consoling, but still nothing below was happening. He kissed her lips, long and gently to assure her and lifted himself off to get dressed, his cock hanging limply.

When he came out of the bathroom, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands folded formally between her knees, looking down at the floor with her long hair covering her face. “I can’t make you ejaculate. I’m so sorry.”

“I will when I come home tonight, I promise. We’ll stick with it till it happens.”

She shook her head.

“Listen, Sarah. Today’s the day of my big promotion. I’m joining the field team. Big time, Sarah. More money for us too. Tonight we’ll get crazy and celebrate. What do you say?”

She didn’t answer. She sat quietly, looking forlorn, like an abandoned toy in a closet.

“Sarah? What’s going on?”

“I’ve lost the ability to sexually excite you.”

“It’s not that.”

She looked up, and brushed the hair from her face. “What is it? Tell me what you need.” She patted the bedside next to her. “Sit with me. Talk.”

“Need?” He sat next to her on the bed, thinking, rummaging through fantasies for a moment, while she waited. Finally he stopped thinking and just sat. The dream. The dream had put him out of business some how. It had brought out some demon. I’m alone, he thought. I’m alone and I can’t stand it. I need someone to talk to who dreams.

“Stay with me.” She said, and put her hand on his knee.

It was the only thing she could have said that would make him want to leave. “I have to go now. I can’t be late.” He got up and went to the mirror.

She sat in the mirror glass, watching him brush his hair. As he went to the door she called to him, in a whimpering tone he’d never heard before. “Don’t trade me in. Please?”

He turned and looked at her, surprised. “I won’t. You’re my girl.”

“Please don’t trade me in!”

“Maybe I’m just growing up, is all.” He said. “Maybe I’m getting too old to play with dolls.” Feeling strange tears, he closed the door and left.


  1. Garce,

    Was this from one of your stories in Mortal Engines? If not, I trust it will be in the follow-up title.

    Fantastic writing.


  2. Hi Ashley!

    Thanks for reading! I know its pretty long for a blog.

    It has a lot in common with Mortal Engines, that's true, but its a different story and theme. I think I will have it in the next collection. The collection is pretty much ready, I'm just overhauling one story and waiting for the go ahead.



  3. The great thing about your stories, Garce, is that they're not little one-shot deals. I can read them over and over and find something new every time.

    How incredibly appropriate an answer to Ashley's question!


  4. Garce, you succeeded in making me feel sorry for a robot. WEG
    The last writer who did that was Isaac Asimov with I, Robot.

  5. Hi Lisabet!

    I know this is a pretty long piece for a blog, but I thought it fit the topic. Definately in the collection.

    This was a story I actually rescued from the trash bin. It was the opening scene of a much longer erotic sci fi story called "The Other Side of Eden", which was a kind of time travel story. I was determined to keep the length down, and by deleting this scene, I was able to drop 2000words. The original story turned out to have some problems so I set it aside to rework someday, but on impulse I posted this on ERWA Storytime. One person read it - Adrienne. She loved it. She picked it up for the gallery and then put it on permanent archive in Treasure Chest. People surprise you, you never know what someone is going to like.

    It always seems to me that not many people like my stuff but its always the right people who do like it and that keeps me going.


  6. Hi Paul!

    I remember "I, Robot" from a long time ago. Adam is on trial for what might be the murder of his creator.

    If you;re comparing me to Asimov - I'll take it!

    That was why Adrienne liked it too. She said "The robot is so sad!" I didn;t value this story much until she said that, and then I thought yeah, that's true.


  7. Garce,

    This was wonderful! I certainly hope you do publish it in a collection of stories. I think Isaac Asimov himself would enjoy reading it.