tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post3721948352249892199..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: "Fuckwit": A Story of GuiltAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-29769949274133918462013-11-27T19:18:31.226-05:002013-11-27T19:18:31.226-05:00Hi Sacchi!
I tried to keep as much under the surf...Hi Sacchi!<br /><br />I tried to keep as much under the surface as I could, which makes me think also the pacing is still a little dicky. Thanks for reading!<br /><br />GarceGarceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-22237279360023314522013-11-27T19:16:46.186-05:002013-11-27T19:16:46.186-05:00Hi Daddy X!
Yes, that's the spot. I agree. ...Hi Daddy X!<br /><br />Yes, that's the spot. I agree. That and a little more. Maybe I'll run it by Storytime and see if others sense that too. Thanks!<br /><br />GarceGarceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-72600636572360156322013-11-27T19:14:59.436-05:002013-11-27T19:14:59.436-05:00Hi Annabeth!
Maybe its me, but the transition bet...Hi Annabeth!<br /><br />Maybe its me, but the transition between suspicion and submission and break down seem a little hurried. It would be a fun story to add some layers to. Thanks for reading my stuff!<br /><br />GarceGarceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-66664781171618211512013-11-27T19:13:26.656-05:002013-11-27T19:13:26.656-05:00Hi RG!
I was so hoping you'd come by. I want...Hi RG!<br /><br />I was so hoping you'd come by. I wanted to say thank you again for the wonderful write up in your blog. I do really appreciate that. I'm reading a book you might find interesting or even a source of future material. Its called "Whip Smart" by Melissa Febos. Its her memoir of her days a professional dominatrix in New York. Its a pretty amazing look into that world and shes a good writer. You can a preview on Google Books.<br /><br />GarceGarceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-40317989624635030042013-11-27T16:21:26.269-05:002013-11-27T16:21:26.269-05:00My two cents as well. A story that works so well i...My two cents as well. A story that works so well in such a short form doesn't need to be tampered with. Less really is more in some cases.Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-67001585373427529352013-11-27T11:44:13.184-05:002013-11-27T11:44:13.184-05:00I'd have to agree with Annabeth, RG (Hi RG!) a...I'd have to agree with Annabeth, RG (Hi RG!) and Lisabet. Maybe slow it down a little before she takes off her clothes. That was the only spot where it jumped at all in the flow. A most imaginative and engaging story, GarceDaddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-72505919463540857472013-11-27T10:10:40.632-05:002013-11-27T10:10:40.632-05:00My two cents: I don't know where you would put...My two cents: I don't know where you would put the thousand words. As it is, the story is brutal and mysterious. I like it. Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-22262311336510525742013-11-27T09:46:59.352-05:002013-11-27T09:46:59.352-05:00I agree with Lisabet. I agree with Lisabet. Remittance Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07902713020074243375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-27597263048166376262013-11-27T06:03:07.331-05:002013-11-27T06:03:07.331-05:00Hi Lisabet!
Personally I think the narrative paci...Hi Lisabet!<br /><br />Personally I think the narrative pacing is way off, it all happens too fast to be believable. I'd need another 1000 words to get it right really, but on a blog I can't make it babble on for too long.<br /><br />This is an interesting premise though on the BDSM theme, don;t you think?<br /><br />Garce<br />Garceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-25290556251400197932013-11-27T01:36:16.105-05:002013-11-27T01:36:16.105-05:00Brilliant! (As usual, I wonder where this came fro...Brilliant! (As usual, I wonder where this came from...)<br /><br />This is publishable, Garce, just as it is.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.com