tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post4993693930087227462..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: Letting Go Without ForgivingAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-60129714876420745182011-11-01T10:32:18.579-04:002011-11-01T10:32:18.579-04:00Kristina - ahh, you say it so beautifully. I see m...Kristina - ahh, you say it so beautifully. I see myself in your post, how I have been accused of abandonment, when in truth all I did was make a decision: It is not okay for you to hurt me like this. <br /><br />It is not that I am unforgiving, it is that there comes a point where I must self-protect before I destroy myself loving someone who abuses my affection.SM Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02991536645592985414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-10283470396038437192011-10-21T21:48:52.865-04:002011-10-21T21:48:52.865-04:00It suddenly occured to me when I was reading your ...It suddenly occured to me when I was reading your post that you in particular had a unique wrong done to you in the past. So in your case especially the question of forgiving or letting go is a very complex one. Not so easy or simple. <br /><br />THere is a complex distinction between forgiving and healing. Some things are harder to heal. Especially when we have been uniquely wronged.<br /><br />GarceGarceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-59990877342950407402011-10-21T12:47:07.048-04:002011-10-21T12:47:07.048-04:00Kathleen, agreed. I like how you phrased it, too. ...Kathleen, agreed. I like how you phrased it, too. Forgiving makes some things seem less terrible.Kristina Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07206629885091637673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-83805435571791047942011-10-21T12:45:36.599-04:002011-10-21T12:45:36.599-04:00Lisabet, you are right that the importance of forg...Lisabet, you are right that the importance of forgiveness is emphasized in Christianity and not in other religions. I have no attachment to any particular religion, but I'm more drawn to Buddhism in recent years.Kristina Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07206629885091637673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-55732125596187715952011-10-21T12:43:26.675-04:002011-10-21T12:43:26.675-04:00Vesta, I think you're right about that-- the l...Vesta, I think you're right about that-- the letting go comes when we stop lecturing ourselves about the "right" way to handle a situation. Interesting. Thanks for sharing your insights!Kristina Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07206629885091637673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-47305127105077683622011-10-21T09:46:15.088-04:002011-10-21T09:46:15.088-04:00Kristina - I think all this talk of forgiveness is...Kristina - I think all this talk of forgiveness is about the petty stuff. Let's just accept that some things are unforgiveable, and that forgiving them makes them seem less terrible.Kathleen Bradeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06347913255760493335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-41765485213321767512011-10-21T08:24:54.760-04:002011-10-21T08:24:54.760-04:00Is letting go the same as forgiving? Letting go me...Is letting go the same as forgiving? Letting go means that the wrong can no longer hurt you. You may still bear the scars but you've stopped picking at the scab. <br /><br />It's funny that forgiveness is so emphasized in Christianity, but not so much in other religions. I grew up Jewish. As far as I'm aware, there's no specific admonition in the Old Testament to forgive one's enemies. On Yom Kippur, we ask God to pardon our wrong doing, but we must pay the price, through fasting and repentance - and God is not in fact guaranteed to listen. <br /><br />I don't know about Hinduism - but letting go is at the heart of Buddhism. Attachment, the Buddha taught, is the source of suffering. Let go of your attachment to feeling wrong and your suffering will decrease.<br /><br />Maybe.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-1082303571587001302011-10-21T01:10:19.522-04:002011-10-21T01:10:19.522-04:00I've been reading about 'abandonment' ...I've been reading about 'abandonment' and learning that there is a process with that just as there is a process with grief. This is the third stage in the process of abandonment - that stage when you forget about acting as the person you think you should be (moral, Christian types turn the other cheek, don't they?) and start expressing your true insights and feelings as to what went down. If this stage is done well, it is a time when one moves to the final stage of the process, learns and benefits from the situation, accepts what happened and drives on to lead a happy life. So much of BDSM is about "letting go" and this is one component of that, I think - perfectly accceptable and healthy, in my opinion.Vestahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677044322646962128noreply@blogger.com