tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post5233079750264362212..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: Branded By My CravingAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-83985896482087180122014-12-04T05:04:05.926-05:002014-12-04T05:04:05.926-05:00I'm definitely more of a submissive than a mas...I'm definitely more of a submissive than a masochist. Certain types of pain can begin to feel good when one is aroused. Furthermore, the idea of suffering to please one's Dom turns me on. However, the notion of experiencing pain for its own sake doesn't resonate with me at all.<br /><br />I wonder whether this is connected to the fact which I've mentioned before, that I live much more in my head than in my body, with regard to sex particularly. One consequence is that I remember the most intense D&S experiences I've had in terms of emotions, not sensations. In fact, I can't even remember whether I had orgasms or not, because that was not where my attention was focused.<br /><br />Your comment about "slipping into" D&S mechanics is interesting. I think there's a story nugget there.<br /> Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-90494783776606261192014-12-04T01:11:11.978-05:002014-12-04T01:11:11.978-05:00Hi Jean, thank you! I do think means to an end pai...Hi Jean, thank you! I do think means to an end pain is pretty different. I've gotten better about safety and I really do try to remain risk-aware, etc. I've learned, though, that it doesn't work as neatly in real life as it does in the books. <br /><br />I was once at a reading of Lee Harrington's (excellent kink writer and educator), and he read a passage about how the marks of branding are never as temporary as they're supposed to be. It made me feel better—I'm clearly not the only one who's made this particular error. Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-61037023883462065812014-12-04T01:08:59.466-05:002014-12-04T01:08:59.466-05:00I was recently talking to someone about how there&...I was recently talking to someone about how there's so much BDSM writing that the kink seems, perhaps, more normal than it is. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people who don't find pain or submission arousing. I'm not sure I would call that missing something. Sometimes, I feel like I'm missing something for feeling bored without it. Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-12121394975410543722014-12-04T01:07:11.459-05:002014-12-04T01:07:11.459-05:00Thanks so much for reading, Lisabet, and I'm g...Thanks so much for reading, Lisabet, and I'm glad this was an illuminating post for you. My partner and I have discussed at length the different motivations for BDSM. I'm interested in how these four particular letters are lumped together. At this point, I identify as a masochist, but not as a submissive, and the attraction to BDSM that you describe sounds to me like the attraction associated with submission (surrender). I think there are people who like pain because they like submitting to it (surrender), but I like it because I need to feel it. We've actually had trouble over the years because we'll slip into D/s mechanics that don't really work for us, simply because they seem like the way things are done. Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-63855557636621992742014-12-04T01:04:04.870-05:002014-12-04T01:04:04.870-05:00Yeah, I'm not sure what motivates these differ...Yeah, I'm not sure what motivates these differences. I have two tattoos and had one unusual piercing (which I allowed to close a few years back). And those were things I did on purpose!Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-87833869294231354182014-12-04T01:03:05.678-05:002014-12-04T01:03:05.678-05:00Thanks so much, Spencer. I think taking people to ...Thanks so much, Spencer. I think taking people to places they wouldn't think of going is a major goal for a writer. As far as craving vs addiction, I can definitely behave in unwise ways when in the grip of arousal (and can't we all?) but it's hard to imagine what it would be like as an actual addiction (outside of those old Victorian descriptions of falls from grace).Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-86672817180171318742014-11-21T14:57:43.937-05:002014-11-21T14:57:43.937-05:00This is a fascinating post, Annabeth, and I find i...This is a fascinating post, Annabeth, and I find it intriguing for the same reasons as the other commentators. I have had painful experiences, some of which were consensual or voluntary (childbirth, getting tattooed), but I've always considered chosen pain as a means to an end, not a goal in itself. Even if you didn't intend to become permanently scarred, your scar sounds attractive. I just hope you stay safe.Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-51326875386361616272014-11-21T11:02:27.186-05:002014-11-21T11:02:27.186-05:00Sometimes I think I'm missing something by not...Sometimes I think I'm missing something by not finding pain or submission arousing. (Okay, maybe a little pain of a certain kind, but really, not much.) In fact I know I've missed something in the past, when I would have been willing to pretend to be submissive to please someone, but that someone couldn't be fooled. I've known some people well enough to understand their needs on a fairly deep level, and, I hope, to edit stories (and even occasionally write them) that deal with those subjects, but I don't get there myself. Maybe just as well, I guess. Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-26788227494344553662014-11-20T22:35:21.095-05:002014-11-20T22:35:21.095-05:00Correction: I can imagine offering myself to a str...Correction: I <b>can</b> imagine offering myself to a stranger, but that's only fantasy. And in that fantasy, there's an immediate connection, even though I've never met this person before. We're partners in pushing limits.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-46522646133730418922014-11-20T22:30:15.501-05:002014-11-20T22:30:15.501-05:00Thank you for this edifying post, Annabeth. And I&...Thank you for this edifying post, Annabeth. And I'm not just talking about education in BDSM details, though in fact I didn't realize a violet wand could cause permanent damage. You've precisely articulated the craving for pain that motivates some BDSM practitioners - something I don't think I really understood until reading this account of your own desire for terrible, cleansing, focusing hurt. <br /><br /><i>Every touch seemed dull and distant unless pain and fear first stripped me bare.</i><br /><br />My own attraction to BDSM is so different, it's amazing it could be labeled the same. I can't imagine offering myself to a stranger in this way. And although I've definitely experienced painful sensations as pleasure, and I like to fantasize about truly extreme actions (a category in which I'd put this vignette), it's not about the pain at all, but about surrender. There might be an edge of fear, but that's not the aphrodisiac for me. I get off on the trust that pushes me beyond the fear.<br /><br />I'm grateful for this fascinating, honest glimpse into another world. <br />Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-74411751447763700012014-11-20T09:55:03.211-05:002014-11-20T09:55:03.211-05:00Funny, the differences in human beings. If you loo...Funny, the differences in human beings. If you look at my bio, you'll see I'm no stranger to pain, but permanently altering my body has never had any appeal for me. I have no piercings, tattoos, or other permanent body decorations, and my scars, although many, have never been something I've wanted in any capacity. Have fun. Stay safe.Daddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-90046678423065708482014-11-20T07:20:39.651-05:002014-11-20T07:20:39.651-05:00Annebeth:
Your posts regularly take me to places I...Annebeth:<br />Your posts regularly take me to places I wouldn't think of going. Thank you for allowing this voyeur to be in attendance. You're right. I don't get it but I am beginning to understand. Adrenalin and endorphins are powerful chemicals supposedly as addictive as crack. In fact if I have my stuff right, it is crack which mimics those two biochemical and the results are plain to see in abusers. No doubt the violet wand stimulates both. The line between craving and addiction is fuzzy. Cravings can be denied. Hope it just stays a craving for you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.com