tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post8399990850768330722..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: Sex in a War ZoneAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-85901057536180122062015-09-24T07:17:48.170-04:002015-09-24T07:17:48.170-04:00As others have said, thank you for the historical ...As others have said, thank you for the historical perspective, Jean!<br /><br />"Just writing this made me break out in a cold sweat"<br /><br />I remember when writing erotica did that to me--when I was that nervous of the things I had said and how they might be seen by others.Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-44957978459735366622015-09-24T07:17:04.764-04:002015-09-24T07:17:04.764-04:00Please write this book! That would be awesome!Please write this book! That would be awesome!Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-20824056649096900882015-09-14T16:17:13.878-04:002015-09-14T16:17:13.878-04:00(:v>(:v>Jeremy Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01980177431018869829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-83366989385631271492015-09-14T15:59:41.993-04:002015-09-14T15:59:41.993-04:00Too funny, Jeremy! Yes, the first one is very pol...Too funny, Jeremy! Yes, the first one is very polite and proper for men and women. The second is the kind of alpha shit that makes me want to punch someone. Thanks for your insight into the difference. And might I add, that kind of male point of view is why I love coming here...pun intended, of course.Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-5313010859848778382015-09-13T11:50:40.430-04:002015-09-13T11:50:40.430-04:00Of course, there's holding doors and holding d...Of course, there's holding doors and holding doors: the low-key "Here, I'll make sure it doesn't close behind me and sort of hand it off to you," vs. "I will ostentatiously prop the door open in a display of smarmy gallantry and let you enter first, so I can check out your ass."Jeremy Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01980177431018869829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-34306247044206964162015-09-13T03:24:23.394-04:002015-09-13T03:24:23.394-04:00Sacchi, you've given me an idea for a book tha...Sacchi, you've given me an idea for a book that doesn't seem to exist yet: a history of lesbian sex manuals and erotica. There were actually a few of these in the 1970s, while lesbian-feminists and anti-porn feminists mostly seemed to be living separately and not in direct conflict. I've read Tristan Taormino's account of the first BLE in 1996, and how hard it was to get writers to submit stories for it. I certainly hope lesbian erotica doesn't die on your watch, Sacchi! (I don't really think that's possible. Even if all mainstream publishers stopped publishing it, it would probably still exist as self-pubbed work and on private sites, like fanfic.)Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-72340587651811676862015-09-13T03:14:53.092-04:002015-09-13T03:14:53.092-04:00Daddy X, I remember both men and women making a hu...Daddy X, I remember both men and women making a huge deal out of whether men should open doors for women, and this seemed to me like a distraction from more serious issues such as inequality in the job market (directly related to women's poverty), reproductive rights (or lack of them), sexual harassment, male violence against women, double-standard conceptions of "sanity," etc. Opening a door for the person behind you just seemed like common courtesy. (I've done it for a variety of people.) Too true that the left is too often self-destructive. Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-17541963342244083042015-09-12T10:53:33.643-04:002015-09-12T10:53:33.643-04:00Susie Bright revisits the Fem wars of those years ...Susie Bright revisits the Fem wars of those years in her memoir. She took it hard--best of friends made enemies fairly suddenly. Like you say, Jean. It was a lot to do with the sexually explicit. Sad scene, During the 70's I once held a door for a woman and she kicked me in the shin, informing me that she could open her own fucking doors, thank you. Christ, I wouldn't have let the door go in a man's face either. I suspect there's the same range today, although those who are receptive don't take shit any more. Isn't a shame how left/liberal factions often work against each other? Almost as if the right doesn't have to worry. The left is either apathetic or subverting each other.Daddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-14652027039489434232015-09-11T22:18:37.217-04:002015-09-11T22:18:37.217-04:00You got a little bit of a head start on me, Jean, ...You got a little bit of a head start on me, Jean, because I didn't come across a lesbian erotica call for submissions until maybe 1998, for Best Lesbian Erotica 1999. We were often in books together after that. You may be right that the golden age of lesbian anthologies is over, but we're still struggling along. The BLE series began in 1996, so the one coming out next February will be the 20th anniversary edition, but I don't think anyone but me realized that until I told the new owners of Cleis Press, and I noticed that within the last couple of weeks they've made that part of the title on Amazon. I have no idea how much longer it will last. I just hope it doesn't die on my watch.Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-11203815769288629462015-09-11T20:10:43.883-04:002015-09-11T20:10:43.883-04:00The question was how to keep the sex and remove th...<i>The question was how to keep the sex and remove the hatred. I think the diversity of erotica that was written since then has answered that question.</i><br /><br />Amen!! (:v>Jeremy Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01980177431018869829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-23242430569913252852015-09-11T19:45:44.381-04:002015-09-11T19:45:44.381-04:00Thanks for commenting, Jeremy, Lisabet and Fiona. ...Thanks for commenting, Jeremy, Lisabet and Fiona. I still think the ideological conflicts within feminism in the 1980s are worth considering, and I'm not sure they have really been resolved. Opposition to sexual expression (or, at its root, to sexual pleasure) might have its origins in religion, but anti-porn feminists generally claimed to be opposed to traditional religious rules. Some of the "porn" of the 1970s was full of woman-hatred (women treated like objects, often in a context that was supposedly funny). Boyfriends of mine who showed me this stuff at the time (because I was a girl who liked sex) didn't seem to understand why it turned me off. ("That's not funny" became a feminist cliche. And often, IMO, it wasn't.) The question was how to keep the sex and remove the hatred. I think the diversity of erotica that was written since then has answered that question. A related question was whether sexual aggression (even if very consensual and fairly vanilla) was oppressive by definition -- and if it was, was all fucking politically incorrect? If actually doing something to another person's body (or even one's own) was pathological, how could anyone have healthy sex?? As you say, Fiona, it led to a lot of overthinking. but I think the intentions were often good on both sides of the war.Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-18118973611728114712015-09-11T18:39:17.343-04:002015-09-11T18:39:17.343-04:00Oh, how we humans can fuck up a natural process by...Oh, how we humans can fuck up a natural process by over-thinking everything! Orgasms should be easy to get, since we all have bodies. We should all learn what we like as children, so we can share that knowledge with any partners we choose. Instead we're still being taught that natural urges are nasty. Sigh. Try to imagine telling children their desire for drinking or eating, is dirty and should be ignored. This is so similar! <br /><br />While I taught my kids there are things we do in private only, like picking your nose, and using the toilet, I also taught them that masturbation is something we all do, but should be done in private...unless you want to share it with someone else. <br /><br />And let politics into the picture, and suddenly everyone wants to tell you what you can and can't do! And with whom. Why can't we all just mind our own business, fuck whomever we want to, however we want to, and let everyone else do the same? IMHO, religion sure has a lot to answer for.Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-53911280021674982342015-09-11T08:32:41.909-04:002015-09-11T08:32:41.909-04:00Ah, Jean! I always enjoy your historical perspecti...Ah, Jean! I always enjoy your historical perspective. I was so naive and out of the loop, I missed all this.<br /><br />However, I do have a story with a character who's very loathe to have a dildo used on her, for similar reasons. I think the distinction in your story makes sense. <br /><br />And for some reason, using "naturally occurring" objects as toys seems far more transgressive to me. (I was once fucked with a bedpost. Really!)Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-34604582512083887432015-09-11T08:31:08.413-04:002015-09-11T08:31:08.413-04:00I'm versed in the Feminist Sex Wars, but it wa...I'm versed in the Feminist Sex Wars, but it was very interesting reading this firsthand account of an up-and-coming writer navigating her way through it.<br /><br />I was a college student in the early 1980s, and I remember struggling to reconcile my political commitment to feminism with my strong sexual interest in women. I wanted to lust without "objectifying," and at that age (and without a lot of clear role models or enlightened guidelines) it was a challenge figuring it all out. Sometimes I'm <i>still</i> not sure I've figured it all out—not in the sense of how to behave, of course, but at the psychological level, balancing inner sexual responses with other considerations.Jeremy Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01980177431018869829noreply@blogger.com