tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post8741847726216207532..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: The 90'sAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-49307309583684457462014-07-22T21:30:47.987-04:002014-07-22T21:30:47.987-04:00Hi Spence!
Wow.
Especially thank you for this:
...Hi Spence!<br /><br />Wow.<br /><br />Especially thank you for this:<br /><br />" . . The thing you don't know, that I didn't know, was how much courage you have when you have to have it. So I offer that as a message of hope. . . "<br /><br />Oddly, that really does give me hope. Thank you.<br /><br />GarceGarceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-84586450793178746342014-07-14T22:53:02.891-04:002014-07-14T22:53:02.891-04:00That's a beautiful post, Spencer.That's a beautiful post, Spencer.Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-40201438037131702522014-07-12T09:33:14.342-04:002014-07-12T09:33:14.342-04:00Thanks Daily:
You're making my head swell.
I&...Thanks Daily:<br />You're making my head swell. <br />I'm still looking for that picture.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-4923768072266446182014-07-12T09:24:36.934-04:002014-07-12T09:24:36.934-04:00Thank you Lisabet:
I want to be Ben when I grow up...Thank you Lisabet:<br />I want to be Ben when I grow up. I still haven't picked an actress for Christina but Ben is Ben Affleck. He's played a number of roles like Ben McArdle, tough, strong, confident, quiet. Open to suggestions on Christina though. All of Hollywood is waiting.<br /><br /> I'd like to get a message to that guy who is trying to make me strongerAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-4760040585799835062014-07-12T08:27:17.364-04:002014-07-12T08:27:17.364-04:00Wow Spencer, you always amazed me as a writer, but...Wow Spencer, you always amazed me as a writer, but after this post I respect you even more as a person. I can't imagine what you went through as a parent. I wouldn't wish that sort of thing on anyone! <br /><br />Thanks for sharing - you really are an amazing dude. While I haven't drank in over four years, if our paths ever do cross, I'll be more than happy to slam down a shot of Jack with you.<br /><br />DailyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-67320664141529347742014-07-12T05:20:19.147-04:002014-07-12T05:20:19.147-04:00Dear Spencer - Thank you for opening your life to ...Dear Spencer - Thank you for opening your life to us, relative strangers. I had no idea that Ben's trials in "Bliss" were based on your own experience. <br /><br />We've all heard the saying, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." I think you're a prime example. And I'm starting to understand the depths of heart I feel in your stories. Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-83926832445482859742014-07-12T00:44:37.855-04:002014-07-12T00:44:37.855-04:00Skye:
Thank youSkye:<br />Thank youAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-85763686014108704732014-07-11T23:07:49.754-04:002014-07-11T23:07:49.754-04:00What a wonderful post, Spencer. You are gracious a...What a wonderful post, Spencer. You are gracious as always, in your strength, compassion and the wisdom so hard earned. I'm glad I've had a chance to know you.Skyewriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08938351117986167519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-75727762411438776392014-07-11T23:03:42.960-04:002014-07-11T23:03:42.960-04:00But we can keep him our prayers and hope the mirac...But we can keep him our prayers and hope the miracle goes on.Skyewriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08938351117986167519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-81136587170299936432014-07-11T23:01:46.207-04:002014-07-11T23:01:46.207-04:00My daughter and her husband had just such a call -...My daughter and her husband had just such a call - your son has been injured and is being life-flighted to the hospital. They were in Manhattan and it took them an hour to get to his side. Followed by 10 hours of the worst hours of their lives before Philip was removed from the respirator and died. The miracle didn't happen that night. Skyewriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08938351117986167519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-20580555828772089452014-07-11T21:43:40.569-04:002014-07-11T21:43:40.569-04:00Fiona:
That's just too sad for words. Endings ...Fiona:<br />That's just too sad for words. Endings should be better. I'm sorry yours wasn't. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-11268548351791783122014-07-11T18:25:13.301-04:002014-07-11T18:25:13.301-04:00My one sibling is a brother who was no help with o...My one sibling is a brother who was no help with our parents. Now he and his wife insist that it was MY fault...that I never asked them for help. After adding myself to all of the bank accounts, searching their house for $ they'd hidden all over it, getting them both into an assisted living place, selling their house, etc. etc.--all I asked him to do was to drive the 45 minutes it takes to get from where he lives to the suburb I live in. I moved them out here because the only place I experienced with my Dad in the city was a scary place indeed. Just as expensive as the ones out here, but no peace of mind--he used to beg me to bring him a gun so he could "end things himself". And out here I could visit them 3-4 times a week, riding my bike instead of wasting gas.<br /><br />But my brother rarely came out to visit. And when Mom died, I called him and offered to not call the Cremation Society until after he'd had a chance to come out to pay last respects, or to hug/kiss her to say goodbye, since he hadn't been out to visit for months. He told me to go ahead and call, since he wasn't coming out. Both he and his wife don't understand how that "broke" something in me when he said that. <br /><br />He's still my brother, and I still love him for all of our shared memories. But things will never be the same between us again. I try not to hold a grudge, since that only hurts the holder. But I can't understand how he could be so callous. Husband and kids have tried to explain to me that I can't know how much he was grieving, but that's the point. He wasn't there to hug me and share it with me. Isn't that what family is all about? Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-12229134126121129582014-07-11T18:19:14.470-04:002014-07-11T18:19:14.470-04:00Both Momma and I owe our lives to UCSF and the Kai...Both Momma and I owe our lives to UCSF and the Kaiser medical system.Daddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-66199669023386648072014-07-11T16:46:00.530-04:002014-07-11T16:46:00.530-04:00Sadly, eldercare seems to fall into the lap of the...Sadly, eldercare seems to fall into the lap of the daughters (I don't know if you have male siblings) It can be a hard job. I'm always wishing all the people on Fox News had to take a long shift at the bedside of someone who is dying or became an at-home parent of a child with autism. I think it would help change a lot of minds about our need for a safety net.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-73917127368598723812014-07-11T16:40:03.619-04:002014-07-11T16:40:03.619-04:00Fiona:
This is so powerful:
The 90s were a blur o...Fiona:<br />This is so powerful: <br />The 90s were a blur of child-raising for me also. But as you say, caring for babies allows you to tap inner reserves of compassion you never knew you had, which stood me in good stead years later when I had to care for both parents through to their ends. Having held my newborns, I knew how life began. Having held my Dad's hand as he took his last breath, and kissed Mom while she was still warm, I now know how life ends. It's all of the stuff in-between that matters. <br /><br />Like the song says, "I wasn't there that morning, when my father passed away.." But I did get to day good bye to my mom. It really changes your perspective on life and death doesn't it?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-14588146967392766662014-07-11T16:35:36.413-04:002014-07-11T16:35:36.413-04:00And plenty of Jack DanielsAnd plenty of Jack DanielsAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-31673741224149603712014-07-11T15:55:00.824-04:002014-07-11T15:55:00.824-04:00Bravo for the courage you've had! I've had...Bravo for the courage you've had! I've had some hard family times, but nowhere near what you've had. Right now I'm on the elderly parent care end, with one health problem coming right on the heels of another, so I'm staying with my 94-year-old father and grabbing wifi in the local library parking lot. But children's serious health problems are the worst, I know.Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-70127537405227787532014-07-11T13:50:25.241-04:002014-07-11T13:50:25.241-04:00Thanks for sharing your memories. Having been the...Thanks for sharing your memories. Having been the at-home parent, I can really relate! I promised my husband that when the kids got into school I'd go back to work and he could be the at-home parent. The youngest turns 21 in a few weeks and he's still waiting. I always worked at least 1 part-time job, most times 2 or 3. But those don't count, apparently, when applying for full-time work at anything paying better than minimum wage. <br /><br />Sometimes my husband comes home and sighs, saying how much he'd like to retire after 30+ years in his industry. But we still have another semester of college for the 3rd child, and 1 1/2 years for the last one. So he's stuck for at least another 2 years. Then we'll still be paying off the second mortgage we took out to fund everyone's college, in addition to the original mortgage that's been re-done to incorporate cars we no longer even own, so is almost as high as when we "bought" this house over 20 years ago. Sigh.<br /><br />But with your special needs child you've been really tested. One of our sons has type 1 diabetes, but that's an incurable illness that allows you to die from old age, if you're lucky...and extremely disciplined and vigilant, which he's learned how to be. <br /><br />The 90s were a blur of child-raising for me also. But as you say, caring for babies allows you to tap inner reserves of compassion you never knew you had, which stood me in good stead years later when I had to care for both parents through to their ends. Having held my newborns, I knew how life began. Having held my Dad's hand as he took his last breath, and kissed Mom while she was still warm, I now know how life ends. It's all of the stuff in-between that matters. Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-39851584850178790542014-07-11T13:40:48.507-04:002014-07-11T13:40:48.507-04:00Oh, Spencer, you moved me to tears! Well done, you...Oh, Spencer, you moved me to tears! Well done, you. You showed how grit and grace is the only way to survive parenthood.Elizabeth SaFleurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02091878827500061191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-1313484890331086252014-07-11T13:07:26.605-04:002014-07-11T13:07:26.605-04:00Thanks JP
My son is unexplored territory. He's...Thanks JP<br />My son is unexplored territory. He's 23 now. He is among the first generation of kids who had the surgical procedures performed on him. He was very fortunate in that he did not have other organ damage as many neonatal heart babies do. He is on borrowed time, as we all are in a sense.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-43447642083033301182014-07-11T12:58:51.307-04:002014-07-11T12:58:51.307-04:00Thank you Annabeth:
Actually you are never out of ...Thank you Annabeth:<br />Actually you are never out of the woods with this kind of condition. Two years ago he was headed in the direction of a heart transplant but they installed a pacemaker and he is fine for now. On top of that he was nearly killed in a freak accident with a four wheeler just before his 18th birthday. So we've also had that call "Your son's been in an accident and is being airlifted to the hospital." Then the line goes dead because the caller is at the edge of cell phone range. Sometimes miracles are measured by what doesn't happen. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-20368796152196982672014-07-11T12:52:37.999-04:002014-07-11T12:52:37.999-04:00Daddy:
Yes much good fortune that our son was born...Daddy:<br />Yes much good fortune that our son was born at the right time and in the right place. We live in the heart of Medical Alley where we only had to go across town and not across country to get the help we needed. We are also blessed with excellent medical coverage or I really would be writing from the refrigerator box dwelling I refer to humorously. For both I am grateful beyond words.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-7698816460527917402014-07-11T12:16:36.459-04:002014-07-11T12:16:36.459-04:00Wonderful post Spencer. One of my uncles was a ...Wonderful post Spencer. One of my uncles was a 'blue baby'. He was a quiet man with a sly sense of humor despite his ongoing health problems. He made wonderful toffee! He died at age 34 when I was a kid but I still remember him. JPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10305127219838784688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-2197745993966414142014-07-11T11:41:59.115-04:002014-07-11T11:41:59.115-04:00Thank you for this. It's beautifully written, ...Thank you for this. It's beautifully written, and I'm glad you and your family made it through all this.Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-26121415182417248102014-07-11T11:15:56.644-04:002014-07-11T11:15:56.644-04:00Jeez, Spencer-
Upon occasion, I've related (a...Jeez, Spencer-<br /><br />Upon occasion, I've related (and will doubtless relate again) the health trials Momma and I had in our early years, but her illness made it impossible to have children, so we missed that part of it. Can't say I'm sorry. <br /><br />I'm sure you can look back on the richness of what you've accomplished. You came out the other end as a quite sensitive and eloquent human being. <br /><br />You said-<br />The thing you don't know, that I didn't know, was how much courage you have when you have to have it.<br /><br />From afar, it takes what we think of as a superhuman resource, but as you say, Spencer, the strength does come through, if difficult to live. Sometimes we don't get to make the choices; they're made for us, and all we can do is follow one foot in front of the other, or like on a conveyor belt, circumstances out of our control. <br /><br />And we can thank the powers that be for the level of our medical professionals.Daddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.com