Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Things I Like About Dirty Movies

I don't watch much porn. Maybe that's a little weird, for an erotica writer, but probably not so weird when I say that I've always loved reading about the erotic more than I've loved watching it. I like the scope my imagination gives me and specifically, I like it when it puts hot, hot dudes that I like in the place of whatever hero the writer's imagined.

Which is, of course, very hard to do with porn. When you watch porn, all you get is the guy doing the deed, and though I've seen some very attractive men in some skin flicks, it does seem like...well. Mostly you just get hairy, and squat. And occasionally some more hairy, and squat. And just for variety, maybe a little bit more hairy and squat!

Which, well...it's not quite as hot for me as imagining Gabriel Gray going down on the main character in Taking Care of Business. It's just not. Though I wouldn't want you to think I'm shallow, or anything! Oh no no no. I can deal with some hairy and squat. Harvey Keitel is sort of attractive, in certain lights. Why, just the other day I was extolling the virtues of Anthony Hopkins, and he's the very epitome of hairy and squat.

But just, you know. I need a bit more than that, most of the time. I've seen a few lithe, lissom lovelies in gay porn, with jet black hair and sleepy eyes - just the way I like 'em - but the truth is, I'd much rather watch a guy and a girl getting it on. So that, you know, I can live vicariously. I mean, I always put myself in the position of the heroine in erotic fiction.

But it's hard to, when the heroine of Anal Gangbang IV looks like Barbie come alive with the aid of voodoo. Heck, it's hard to even when she's a lovely, natural beauty with a perfect body and doe eyes - which female porn stars are often allowed to be.

And that's great. I love that porn celebrates the naturally beautiful and the unnaturally beautiful, and that vaginas aren't considered weird scary things to hide under the bed. I love that a lot of porn shows women receiving oral sex, because I'm sure this teaches a lot of guys things far more than it "corrupts" them or turns them into rapists or whatever else the puritans are bashing on about now.

Which is the side of porn that I do actually enjoy. Beyond my superficial need to see Gabriel Gray in the buff with his schlong out, I can enjoy porn for its obvious sexual freedom. It's no shock to me that I like my dirty movies when the heroine sounds like she's really enjoying herself, or when lots of convincing dirty talk goes on, or when the hero makes some unearthly grunting noise that turns my cogs more than I'd like to admit.

Yeah. I can forgive a lot of hairy and squat, for some of those things.


  1. [ "I can deal with some hairy and squat. Harvey Keitel is sort of attractive, in certain lights. Why, just the other day I was extolling the virtues of Anthony Hopkins, and he's the very epitome of hairy and squat."]...

    I love you, Charlotte. Anyone who can almost make burning hot coffee come out my nose deserves my love.


  2. Hey Charlotte,

    One of things that bugs me about modern porn is that nobody's hairy. Call me old-fashioned, but I like to see some pubic hair, on both genders. I find shaved or waxed male genitalia particularly unappealing.

    Porn from the seventies and eighties is a lot more fun for me, even though the production values are often pretty bad, because both the guys and the gals look much more natural. Also, the conventions of porn hadn't become so fixed in stone. I mean it would be really nice if a guy came INSIDE his partner once in a time, rather than all over her face etc. I've got nothing against cum shots and I know from your stories you like 'em too, but please, can't we have some variety?!


  3. Charlotte - More women are producing porn. Maybe they'll cast leads who appeal to you.

  4. got your comment on oneshot...each week one shot opens at 5pm EST on TUesday and closes the same time Thursday morning...your next shot will be tonight, so drop back by. if you ever need to contact us go to the about us tab...hope that helps...

  5. Sommer- I'm here for you any time you need stuff to shoot out of your nose. Just think of the benefits that could bring! Next time someone shoves a pea up there, I'm your woman!

    Lisabet- I fear I am hopelessly out of date with my porn watching. Last time I indulged, I could barely see the screen for all the grizzled hair. Couldn't cope! And usually I love hairy men, too.

    And I remember seeing that documentary thing, where they interviewed these lads about porn and their sexual habits. One of them said he could no longer come inside a woman, because porn made it seem a bit unnatural. Thought that was hilarious! That was the one "negative" thing any of them had picked up from watching porn. LOL

    Kathleen- I definitely need to update my porn watching. Can't wait for female produced hottie stuffed non-grizzled bonkathons!

    Brian- I wish I knew what any of that meant! Sounds fascinating, tho.

  6. [Brian- I wish I knew what any of that meant! Sounds fascinating, tho.]

    and...this time it was wine. that's it. you've made my whole day. heh. X-D

  7. I love this post, Charlotte! I love what you said about porn celebrating beauty and sexual freedom.

    I can also appreciate the things you mentioned you hadn't found so thrilling. :) And also Lisabet's point about variety—certain conventions have seemed rather like a given in contemporary porn, and I too feel that variety in mainstream porn has often seemed a little scarce. Which seems a shame, because it (the scarcity/lack of variety, I mean) seems so unnecessary...

  8. HI Charlotte,

    "Barbie come alive with the aid of voodooo"

    I'm going to have check out that movie ;-)

    Great post,



Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.