tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post1622546794282131240..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: Drained Walnut WhipsAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-77693426617549038042010-12-09T12:52:51.216-05:002010-12-09T12:52:51.216-05:00Cara- Totally agree, on the "monogamy is mayb...Cara- Totally agree, on the "monogamy is maybe not natural state" front. But that, for me, is what makes writing about passionate love between two people or even three people in some kind of for life menage situation so hot and compelling! I think it's also why I love the idea of planned infidelity- because of what you've just mentioned. That idea of a couple being secure enough to accept their attraction to others and work it into their lives is very, very sexy. Because it still retains that sense of love forever passion forever can't live without each other thing. So hot in Dirty Thirty. Oh, and thanks for such a long and well thought out response! Sometimes I feel like I just write nonsense here, so it's nice to find I've actually written something people can discuss. <br /><br />Lisabet- Oh no- I never thought you had! That's not what I wanted to imply or say at all. And I want to make it clear (which I should have done in the post) that I'm purely talking about what does it for me in fiction, not real life. I was mainly talking about what I want to write about, not what I think people should do or say or feel in real life. <br /><br />Maybe I've just not gotten my point across well at all, because I actually totally agree with everything Cara's said!Charlotte Stein aka The Mighty Viperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13938045078503792108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-66844437033480257402010-12-07T22:54:16.727-05:002010-12-07T22:54:16.727-05:00Hey, Charlotte,
I NEVER wanted to suggest that in...Hey, Charlotte,<br /><br />I NEVER wanted to suggest that infidelity was by itself sexy. I mean, some people have written that scenario, and maybe it works for me, but in my view, true cheating is painful--tortured, as Mike says.<br /><br />And now I'm going to have to go read Cara's work! (Thanks for dropping by and providing a direct rebuttal, Cara!)<br /><br />Warmly,<br />LisabetLisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-48144063660585339942010-12-07T12:31:42.922-05:002010-12-07T12:31:42.922-05:00Wow, I feel like required reading! Discussion ques...Wow, I feel like required reading! Discussion questions: What was McKenna symbolizing with the parmesan cheese during the ill-fated dinner scene in <i>Ruin Me?</i><br /><br />I also feel totally, glib, because I am admittedly one of those annoying people-are-mammals folks who believe monogamy is an unnatural state. Don't get me wrong—societally it's the balls! I'm married and monogamous and I dig it madly. It's also terribly terribly romantic as a concept, yet terribly terribly challenging in practice. <br /><br />I'm sure there are souls out there who truly only feel that pulse-pounding sexual attraction to one person their entire life. But I believe the vast majority of us are capable (or perhaps doomed, if you desire effortless monogamy) to find many people attractive, and we then face the choice of whether or not acting on those other attractions is worth the consequences.<br /><br />Sorry to steal your bicsexual story, Charlotte. In <i>Dirty Thirty</i> (and indeed in the sequel I'm scribbling) the thing I adore about that couple is that they know for sure that they'll never love any other people more than they love each other. Their <i>love</i> is secure. But they can both admit they're <i>attracted</i> to others, and they're secure enough with their mutual primacy that they can explore that together without anyone feeling insecure. Well, sometimes Evan feels a little insecure, but he also gets off on that. Oh Evan. I squeeze you.<br /><br />Now <i>Ruin Me</i>…that's an odd duck, I know. The protagonist, Robin, is arguably pretty weak in the face of her crippling attraction to the man who's not her boyfriend. That's story frankly a bit fucked, and I'm surprised so many people have liked it! But I enjoy writing fucked, discordant stories. Uncomfortable human emotions thrill me as much as walnut whip undying devotion seems to thrill Charlotte. But if you want to read some epic FAIL-menage, by all means, check that book out.<br /><br />Anyhow, sorry, <i>monogamy-is-easy-when-you're-with-the-right-person</i> zealots. I drank your Kool-Aid when I was younger, but now I think I know better. Monogamy's never easy. It's often worth it, though!Cara McKennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654280974490334457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-82092423994779220212010-12-07T12:08:33.423-05:002010-12-07T12:08:33.423-05:00I don't hold any brief for monogamy or infidel...I don't hold any brief for monogamy or infidelity - people seem to be infinitely variaable in their tastes. I've known couples who are completely faithful to each other and happy; couples in open relationships who are happy; and couples who get off on each other's infidelities and are happy, and couples who treat each other's infidelity as a fact of life and are happy. I also have known, as I guess we all have, quite a few unhappy couples where whatever relationship they have seems to advantage one and harm the other in some way. <br /><br />I kick around with pagans quite a lot, and while I won't say they don't have their issues (a lot do, probably as many as any other social group), they do at least have a credo worth hanging on to: do as you will and harm none. It's always seemed a sensible approach to me.Fulanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14959628434559905605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-10894329526845850082010-12-07T12:01:11.818-05:002010-12-07T12:01:11.818-05:00Jeremy- oh, there's nothing sexier than a big,...Jeremy- oh, there's nothing sexier than a big, fat, juicy...pen.<br /><br />Mike- I find it more of a challenge, to make a happy couple interesting. Tortured can be just as dull when handled wrong, IMO.Charlotte Stein aka The Mighty Viperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13938045078503792108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-79419309029742536972010-12-07T11:05:33.156-05:002010-12-07T11:05:33.156-05:00I'm a big fan of being monogamous not out of d...I'm a big fan of being monogamous not out of duty or fear or lack of opportunity but because you have already found all that you need.<br />üptent<br />I even wrote a story about it once.<br /><br />Most of the time though, it doesn't have enough drama in it to make good entertainment - happy lovers are all the same, tortured lovers are all tortured in their own unique way :-)<br /><br />I loved the idea of a potential adulterer selection processMike Kimerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18002309169478171450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-18110169788523866212010-12-07T08:38:24.208-05:002010-12-07T08:38:24.208-05:00Bicsexual! LOL. Sounds like you're penning a c...<i>Bicsexual!</i> LOL. Sounds like you're <i>penning</i> a classic tale of balls and points.Jeremy Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01980177431018869829noreply@blogger.com