tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post2046602329380484071..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: The Guest ListAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-73589740872519593712017-01-11T16:23:14.296-05:002017-01-11T16:23:14.296-05:00"This is a collective delusion."
So tru..."This is a collective delusion."<br /><br />So true. I'm consistently annoyed about self-congratulation about our classlessness, especially because I've always felt really conscious of class signifiers. Because I'm quite educated and speak a certain way, people often assume a certain set of things about my background that are really not true. <br /><br />The expectations people have for themselves and their children also reveal a lot about class. <br /><br />I'm glad you called this out. And also that you comment on how the possibility of the snub still exists. <br /><br />And I'd totally put you on my guest list. :DAnnabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-5120482003201165862017-01-04T19:43:14.041-05:002017-01-04T19:43:14.041-05:00Late thanks for the comments, everyone. I'm la...Late thanks for the comments, everyone. I'm late in responding because I was writing and sending stories off, which seems like a good reason to neglect social responsibility (possibly why I've never been a salon hostess.) Daddy X, I actually tried to launch a lesbian social life in the 1980s by inviting 2 couples I knew from the potluck crowd to my place for supper (to show that I wasn't just looking for a date). I was surprised when they all accepted, but afterward, they thanked me and said they were going to the queer bar -- without inviting me. I strongly suspect they went to meet their real friends and treat their supper with me in the single-parent co-op as a funny story. I never got a return invitation. <br />Anonymous, you're right about the diffs between a clique and a class, but social class for women, in particular, has traditionally had much to do with mating and social milieux -- one can socially "climb" or be kicked to the curb.<br />I'm glad no one here thinks it's obvious why I'm not included on guest lists!Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-6612147564340708602017-01-01T22:55:19.295-05:002017-01-01T22:55:19.295-05:00We had servants when I was a kid in Africa, three ...We had servants when I was a kid in Africa, three of them to be precise, the minimum number we were expected to employ. Such noblesse oblige persisted even after the Marxist revolution.<br /><br />I think there's a big difference between a clique and a class, but in any event, I'm quite happy to have an empty social calendar. I sometimes watch groups of people in public and think to myself how exactly like troupes of chimpanzees they are. The less included I am, the better. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-20157599621148974452016-12-31T12:23:14.564-05:002016-12-31T12:23:14.564-05:00Maybe they're intimidated by the fact that you...Maybe they're intimidated by the fact that you're a writer. Or worry that you'll write about them. Or maybe a few started out that way, and then folks got used to not seeing you at parties and, as you said, assume that you don't go by choice.Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-49031518895322361412016-12-31T05:51:25.148-05:002016-12-31T05:51:25.148-05:00People who are considered outsiders by the majorit...People who are considered outsiders by the majority (e.g. queer people) often slice and dice their own society into in-groups and out-groups in an even more extreme way. Still, it's difficult for me to believe that there aren't some people in your community with whom you can make common ground. <br /><br />It's sometimes a shock, though, to learn that people perceive us as someone entirely different than we think we are.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-91765945547476207432016-12-30T20:20:55.572-05:002016-12-30T20:20:55.572-05:00If you really do miss the 'scene' (sounds ...If you really do miss the 'scene' (sounds like you really don't) you could always host a soiree of your own. Thinking further, some may be intimidated by your intelligence and education, but still smart enough not to want to embarrass themselves.Daddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.com