tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post2138226467566549048..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: BDSM, what the heck is that all about?Ashe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-39668745295390238232009-03-04T12:18:00.000-05:002009-03-04T12:18:00.000-05:00Hi Kim, Glad I could pinch the muse a little. LOL ...Hi Kim, <BR/><BR/>Glad I could pinch the muse a little. LOL Thank you for stopping by and commenting. <BR/><BR/><BR/>HugsJude Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067166768734750026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-22295502219657381412009-03-04T12:17:00.000-05:002009-03-04T12:17:00.000-05:00Lisabet,You make an excellent point. A submissive ...Lisabet,<BR/><BR/>You make an excellent point. A submissive who surrenders his or her 'self' to their dominant is giving the greatest gift one can give to another. To have the strength and courage to allow someone else to completely control what's happening to you is enormous. Even to admit to another person, knowing they might think you're odd, at the least, is a huge step. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for stopping by and commenting.<BR/><BR/>HugsJude Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067166768734750026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-25348863368920781542009-03-04T07:04:00.000-05:002009-03-04T07:04:00.000-05:00Hi Jude,Great intro to the topic. I think you're r...Hi Jude,<BR/><BR/>Great intro to the topic. I think you're right that any scene thrives or fails according to the dom and the subs ability to communicate with each other.<BR/><BR/>Great excerpt. I haven't written a female dominant / male sub for ages. Now you've got me itching to return to the genre :)Kim Darehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11086545242925686207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-25995575359964469552009-03-03T22:40:00.000-05:002009-03-03T22:40:00.000-05:00Great post, Jude! Thanks for explaining the ground...Great post, Jude! Thanks for explaining the ground rules of BDSM for people who might not be familiar with them. And I loved your excerpt. This is the part that really hit me:<BR/><BR/>"For that moment he'd felt vulnerable and alone, but when she came into his arms, his world felt complete and wonderful. She was his soul mate, his lady, and the only person in the world who understood him."<BR/><BR/>The world might think you are evil, perverse, lower than dirt for what you desire. But your mistress or master understands you and what you want, and loves you enough to give it to you. It works the other way, too, don't forget. The sub's surrender is a true gift to the dominant.<BR/><BR/>Warmly,<BR/>LisabetLisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-34525653932378171112009-03-03T21:27:00.000-05:002009-03-03T21:27:00.000-05:00Hi Des,You said, 'it's the relationship, folks. Th...Hi Des,<BR/><BR/>You said, 'it's the relationship, folks. That's where it starts. If that's not solid, the rest doesn't work.'<BR/><BR/>I couldn't agree with you more. The players might not be a couple, but they have to have an enormous amount of trust for anything D/s to work. <BR/><BR/>Oh yum, I can't wait to read your post now. LOL Have fun and thank you for stopping by.<BR/><BR/>HugsJude Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067166768734750026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-75267266359217688562009-03-03T21:24:00.000-05:002009-03-03T21:24:00.000-05:00Lady D,Learning what your 'toy' feels is an import...Lady D,<BR/><BR/>Learning what your 'toy' feels is an important step. It gives you the knowledge of when it might become dangerous or mark when you don't plan to. Hope your toy appreciated the effort...LOL<BR/><BR/>Thanks so much for giving us your input on the subject. I really love hearing from those who are learning or know more than I do. <BR/><BR/>HugsJude Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067166768734750026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-77697708037864697712009-03-03T21:21:00.000-05:002009-03-03T21:21:00.000-05:00Ray, I was hoping you drop in and leave us a comme...Ray, <BR/><BR/>I was hoping you drop in and leave us a comment. I've known for a long time you were interested in the genre. I didn't realize it was something so close to you. I'm glad you've had the opportunity to dabble. I'm also glad you've taken the time to learn about it, no matter if you ever do get another chance to participate. A small satisfaction, but something worthwhile for sure. <BR/><BR/>Your comments always make me thing. Thank you.<BR/><BR/>Cuffs and FloggersJude Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067166768734750026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-750737456455936342009-03-03T21:18:00.000-05:002009-03-03T21:18:00.000-05:00Hi Allie,Thanks so much for dropping in and commen...Hi Allie,<BR/><BR/>Thanks so much for dropping in and commenting. In many ways I completely agree with you, there are too many stories out there, and chat rooms and forums, where the Dom is God. To me, that's so much horse poop. Yes, there are couples who want it that way and I say, more power to them. But, I believe they're in the minority. Most players are couples who have agreed that this is something they want to explore, together. Talking is number one. Being safe, taking their time, it's all part of what makes this kind of play wonderful. <BR/><BR/>Yup, preaching to the choir. LOL<BR/><BR/>HugsJude Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067166768734750026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-2264561960235116642009-03-03T21:15:00.000-05:002009-03-03T21:15:00.000-05:00Jamie, Thanks for dropping by and leaving a commen...Jamie, <BR/><BR/>Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. I think you're right, knowing the basic rules is important, and can take you far when you're writing anything D/s. I also think having the writers empathy can also help. People, and I'm including our characters in here, make mistakes, forget or don't know everything. That's part of what I think you're extremely good at in your writing. Your characters are alive. <BR/><BR/>HugsJude Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067166768734750026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-15938542158696316402009-03-03T16:10:00.000-05:002009-03-03T16:10:00.000-05:00I think all these blogs are great. There is such a...I think all these blogs are great. There is such a isconception about what BDSM is and the nature of D/s relationships. Almost everything I write has some BDSM in it, some more, others less, and the thing I always try to convery is...it's the relationship, folks. That's where it starts. If that's not solid, the rest doesn't work. I am so glad you all chose this as the topic this week. I'll have plenty to say when it's my turn on Saturday! *snort*Desiree Holthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15998620493796031671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-32909537482423049002009-03-03T15:11:00.000-05:002009-03-03T15:11:00.000-05:00As one who is a learning domme, I sit here at work...As one who is a learning domme, I sit here at work laughing at the wife comments about yelling stop fucking beating my ass and Joe stops...this brings me to my point they say one should know what your toys feel like. Sooo was at a play party learning and had a lady top start. I told her my word would be fuck and that my back would bend and I was finished. She complied. I got some nice red marks that we took pics and learned quite abit and then some. <BR/><BR/>Reading this made my day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-53303906858456681502009-03-03T14:03:00.000-05:002009-03-03T14:03:00.000-05:00One of my best friends was a female who wanted a s...One of my best friends was a female who wanted a sex change. She had a female sub. Once when we were at sea she used my satellite phone to call her. She was giving her instructions on what she was to wear and how she was supposed to act. She then had the sub talk to me so she would know that I heard every word. <BR/><BR/>My friend talked to me, recommended books and web sites about BDSM and even picked out and watched DVD's with me. <BR/><BR/>Your blog is very much like what I learned while hanging out with her while on a ship docked outside our home port. <BR/><BR/>BDSM has always been a fantasy, but outside one girlfriend who was into all kinds of kink I've never been into it for real.<BR/><BR/>RayRayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01308737766288257680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-45343165247477291282009-03-03T14:00:00.000-05:002009-03-03T14:00:00.000-05:00Thanks, Jude! This is exactly why BDSM is so popul...Thanks, Jude! This is exactly why BDSM is so popular, both in truth and in fiction. There are so many books out there that do not follow the rules of consensual, safe & sane, etc. They write BDSM as some sort of punishment. The female in the play doesn't have a clue what the male is about to do. He is dark, even terse to her as he forces whatever act upon her. That is not true BDSM. I wish more romances had true BDSM in it and not just a guy trying to dominate the girl.<BR/><BR/>Thanks so much for the post!<BR/><BR/>~AllieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-66270694896435218482009-03-03T07:47:00.000-05:002009-03-03T07:47:00.000-05:00Informative post, Jude. I agree with everything yo...Informative post, Jude. I agree with everything you've said (like I wouldn't?) and also agree that a lot of information can be found online. <BR/><BR/>I went to several sites that are there purposely to post what you did, the safe, sane and consensual stuff. And I did visit more than one to make sure people in other places were pretty much in agreement about this stuff. I think they are, its just the degrees to which the play is carried out that differ.<BR/><BR/>So I think when writing this, as long as a person keeps these basic rules in mind, and tries to get into the mindset of her characters, not having firsthand knowledge is okay. Like everyone always says, Stephen King doesn't kill people before he writes about it. (We don't think he does, anyway.)*G*<BR/><BR/>Great post!<BR/><BR/>Hugs,<BR/><BR/>JamieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com