tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post3268971043487596644..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: One Day at a TimeAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-60751243693954970492010-01-12T20:55:13.874-05:002010-01-12T20:55:13.874-05:00Exactly. I once told someone that you don't de...Exactly. I once told someone that you don't decide to get married once. Instead, you make the same decision every single day. This idea of deciding to be married everyday is often what keeps me from blowing my top and walking out when things are at their worst.<br /><br />That and the fact that I would have no idea how to fix my computer if something happened to it after I left the Hubster. He's so good with computers.Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10832774182683343435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-42900496661680562172010-01-10T21:30:27.200-05:002010-01-10T21:30:27.200-05:00Hello, Mary,
I think that Paul Newman got it exac...Hello, Mary,<br /><br />I think that Paul Newman got it exactly right. <br /><br />Despite the fact that I write romance these days, I don't necessarily buy the "one soulmate" notion. Different individuals fulfill different needs. It's also not uncommon to outgrow the person you've been with for a long time, or perhaps, to grow away, in separate directions. The end of a relationship does not necessarily signal a failure of commitment.<br /><br />Warmly,<br />Lisabet<br /><br />P.S. Looking forward to hosting you at Beyond Romance on Wednesday!!Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-27185570139136184172010-01-10T21:27:11.302-05:002010-01-10T21:27:11.302-05:00Hi,Ed,
To be honest, I think serious polyamory re...Hi,Ed,<br /><br />To be honest, I think serious polyamory requires a greater level of commitment than regular marriage. You have to balance the needs of three or more individuals, rather than just two.<br /><br />I've always been attracted to a polyamorous lifestyle, and I think my husband was too. But we never met the right person/people (though we did go looking). <br /><br />Thanks for your comments!<br /><br />Best,<br />LisabetLisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-17853348044591454492010-01-10T21:24:53.155-05:002010-01-10T21:24:53.155-05:00Hello, Garce,
I think you have perhaps a too-trad...Hello, Garce,<br /><br />I think you have perhaps a too-traditional view of the male/female divide. Women gamble their freedom in marriage at least as much as men, partly because (traditional) marriage restricts women more than men. <br /><br />However, it may be that men are more in love with the idea of freedom. There's a Joni Mitchell song I love, called "The Blonde in the Bleachers", that includes the line:<br /><br />"'Cause it seems like you've got to give up<br />Such a piece of your soul<br />When you give up the chase."<br /><br />Maybe men romanticize the notion of flitting from woman to woman, conquering and moving on.<br /><br />Thanks for your comments!<br /><br />Warmly,<br />LisabetLisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-33055721676395428332010-01-10T21:22:10.151-05:002010-01-10T21:22:10.151-05:00Hey, Ashley,
I didn't make this up... wiser f...Hey, Ashley,<br /><br />I didn't make this up... wiser folks than I discovered this secret!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />LisabetLisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-84086720119821828152010-01-10T16:25:41.836-05:002010-01-10T16:25:41.836-05:00Lisabet - how did u get so darn smart??? My Christ...Lisabet - how did u get so darn smart??? My Christmas card this year said Live, laugh, love in the moment. This after spending 21 years with the same man (we are now separated). I'm this crazy combination of free-spiritedness and commitment and it's always been a struggle for me. I remember some interviewer asking Paul Newman the secret to his happy marriage and he said something like: 'I wake up every day and I stay.' I tried to mix things up in my marriage, change the rules and it didn't work out for me. I envy those of you who have found one partner to go this long, hard road with you....Mary Kennedy Eastham, Author, The Shadow of a Dog I Can't Forget and the upcoming novel Night SurfingWord Actresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04041865850513656748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-29910626187348304712010-01-10T09:35:33.930-05:002010-01-10T09:35:33.930-05:00Great post. I particularly like the 12 step compa...Great post. I particularly like the 12 step comparison.<br /><br />As for the shallow skimming, I couldn't help think of a man I once met who was pushing polyamory because "if one partner's having a bad day, you can always go spend it with the other partner. There are no lows." What a way to turn the idea of commitment completely on its head. I think you nailed it in a few words, without making it seem as pathetic for others who seriously struggle with not being shallow.Big Ed Magussonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00470692461167173003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-67162353243488245322010-01-10T09:28:30.159-05:002010-01-10T09:28:30.159-05:00Hi Lisabet!
Very good post, especially the points...Hi Lisabet!<br /><br />Very good post, especially the points you've made about fighting addictive behavior one day at a time.<br /><br />Commitment is a difficult thing in relationships just as you describe it. I think its harder for men, though that just may be my limited view. When men and women marry men gamble with their freedom and women gamble with their happiness. On those occasions, and I know a few, when it works its a beautiful thing.<br /><br />GarceGarceushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160407485298015371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-22101364230907692022010-01-10T09:17:37.138-05:002010-01-10T09:17:37.138-05:00Lisabet,
A wonderfully adroit summary of commitme...Lisabet,<br /><br />A wonderfully adroit summary of commitment. I hadn't thought about the subject in such incisive terms before but I can wholly relate to the 'one day at a time' approach.<br /><br />A great start to what promises to be another fun week.<br /><br />AshAshley Listerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11997769708965362938noreply@blogger.com