tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post3801860394829469717..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: C'est pas tes oignonsAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-5524590992527673012018-04-19T12:53:12.404-04:002018-04-19T12:53:12.404-04:00That's so tough, Giselle. My grandmother also ...That's so tough, Giselle. My grandmother also changed a lot as she aged. Some of what she said and did was hurtful but some of it also gave me the idea that she was finally speaking up about things she'd been holding back her whole life. It's a mixed bag, like a lot else in life. <br /><br />FWIW I'm really glad you made that call, and I'm sure the employee who was affected by your grandmother's behavior is glad too. Hugs.Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-21151547128765533852018-04-15T13:23:51.612-04:002018-04-15T13:23:51.612-04:00I hadn't heard that saying about the oignons, ...I hadn't heard that saying about the oignons, Giselle. However, I would say your intervention was justified when you were a child, and more justified lately, when your grandmother lied about a medical professional. Unfortunately, there's often no reward for good behaviour except a clear conscience.Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-24007971733958601512018-04-15T13:20:26.946-04:002018-04-15T13:20:26.946-04:00Heh. Good for you, Fiona.Heh. Good for you, Fiona.Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-82909250453631705352018-04-15T10:59:31.346-04:002018-04-15T10:59:31.346-04:00I wonder that also, Lisabet. I've told my daug...I wonder that also, Lisabet. I've told my daughter that when it's time to pry the steering wheel out of my aging, arthritic, shaking hands, she has my permission to buy me a kids' steering wheel, complete with a horn for me to toot, and to set it up on the passenger side of her car; she can tell me that it's a British car, so I'm driving from that side. And if she wants to get fancy, get me a fake gas pedal, because I've always enjoyed driving fast...no brake pedal needed. I'm only half-joking, because I want my kids to know that I've given them permission ahead of time, to correct my behavior if I ever get like that. <br /><br />I've told them all for years that if I start acting like my mom, they're to call me, "Emily," and hit me upside the head with a 2-by-4, because obviously a screw has slipped and needs adjusting. My mom was a worrier, who worried when there was nothing to worry about, because something must be going to happen soon to worry about, and she needed to get a jump-start on it right now.Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-33632551998431023152018-04-15T10:54:29.912-04:002018-04-15T10:54:29.912-04:00IN the case of my MIL, the reason she resisted so ...IN the case of my MIL, the reason she resisted so long was that she was a homemaker in every sense of the word, not working outside of the home for most of her life. She'd scrub the walls until they shone, and you could eat off of her floors, they were so clean. She took pride in maintaining her home as a showcase to hard work. So now that she doesn't have any cleaning to do, she's bored. <br /><br />Me, I keep the kitchen clean. That's the sum total of the housework I do. Husband cleans the bathroom because he insists on it being clean, and my motto is: if it bothers you, then you're the one to clean it. I can't even remember the last time I vacuumed or dusted. Probably about 20 years ago. <br /><br />But as I tell my husband, he knew I wasn't "Suzy Homemaker" when he married me, and what he married me for, I'm still good at.Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-88371630653726592072018-04-14T07:32:23.188-04:002018-04-14T07:32:23.188-04:00It sounds as though you've managed to find a r...It sounds as though you've managed to find a really good compromise, that lets you still spend time with your dad without burdening you 24/7.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-17371730641229818922018-04-14T07:31:37.998-04:002018-04-14T07:31:37.998-04:00I would have done the same thing as you, Giselle. ...I would have done the same thing as you, Giselle. It IS your business, in my opinion.<br /><br />Still, it's sad to see your grandmother becoming this selfish, self-absorbed caricature of herself. I agree with you, I never want to be that way. But I wonder... if it happens, will be recognize our own bitchiness and dishonesty?<br />Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-73218945358078546612018-04-13T19:04:19.509-04:002018-04-13T19:04:19.509-04:00Wow Sacchi, you do A LOT! Wow Sacchi, you do A LOT! Giselle Renardehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15955755448116234634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-67664295746395832852018-04-13T18:59:00.058-04:002018-04-13T18:59:00.058-04:00Thanks, Fiona. My grandma's been asking me to ...Thanks, Fiona. My grandma's been asking me to move in with her for over a decade. Ain't never gonna happen. She asked to move in with one of my aunts, but that was a no. She really needs to go into care. Who knows when/if that'll happen.Giselle Renardehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15955755448116234634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-9728975191113963552018-04-12T22:49:16.518-04:002018-04-12T22:49:16.518-04:00When my father was still living at home, I know he...When my father was still living at home, I know he would lie--at least by omission--to the visiting nurses. But I could tell by how fast he went through a box of super-sided bandaids that he'd had another fall, or at least a semi-fall that made him scrape his arm against a door frame. Now, after too many falls and some spells that may have been mini-strokes, plus other problems that are definitely Too Much Information, he's at an extended care facility just ten minutes from me. I give thanks day after day that he says he'll go along with whatever is easiest for me and for my brother, no matter how much he wishes he could have stayed in his house, and how appalled he is at how much the care facility costs. At 98 he's still declining, and may reach a point where he can't be rational about these things, but so far he says he trusts me to do the right thing for him. Which makes me feel guilty for not taking care of him by myself, but I see him almost every day, do his laundry every four days or so, bring him to my place for lunch at least one day a week and we all meet at my brother's house on Sundays, and so far he's accepting things as they are. Meanwhile I'm caring for another family member disabled by delayed-action Lyme Disease, and that's about all I can handle. <br /><br />I wonder if elderly women are more apt to be pigheaded about their situation than elderly men. The men, however much they may wish they could cling to their younger manhood, are often accustomed to seeing women as nurturers and accept their care. Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-61340226783421881622018-04-12T11:42:23.893-04:002018-04-12T11:42:23.893-04:00We've been going through much of the same gut-...We've been going through much of the same gut-wrenching issues with my MIL. She's in assisted living now, but trying to guilt someone, anyone of her 7 kids, to let her move in with them, or she insists she'll get her own place, even though she's unable to care for herself. Sigh...<br /><br />So yes, when folks get very old, they can be a real trial to deal with. The fact that your grandmother's actions were potentially hurting someone's career, and it was a lie, necessitated someone from the family biting the bullet and setting things right. The fact that none of her kids would do it is tragic. And the fact that you may lose closeness with your aunts because of it, is sad. <br /><br />I guess this fits in with the theme because you had to, de facto, become the family spokesperson to make things right because no one else cared to do it. The medical professional is lucky that you are a caring person, even if you're not a nurturer. We are not all the same, and just as we need some to be nurturers, because someone needs to do the shit-work and not complain (been there, done that, burned the tee shirt), someone has to take charge and do/say the unpleasant things when needed. Good for you!Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.com