tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post7085671545747942051..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: Worries and FetishesAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-895503394587387732014-01-17T13:33:38.458-05:002014-01-17T13:33:38.458-05:00Annabeth, that is very insightful. I like to think...Annabeth, that is very insightful. I like to think my worries are totally rational, and that other people's aren't. (I agree with everyone here who says you have no logical reason to worry about seeming stupid.) However, I suspect mine are no more rational than anyone else's. I have noticed that reassurances don't help much.Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-78802506711516842512014-01-17T00:42:39.108-05:002014-01-17T00:42:39.108-05:00You give fascinating insights, beautifully written...You give fascinating insights, beautifully written, into points of view that I recognize but don't entirely comprehend.<br /><br />I know people who find humiliation arousing, and I know people who like to provide that service for them. I don't like to feel humiliated, but I don't much care if it's only in front of people whose opinion doesn't matter to me. I like approval, too, but I figured early on (even before high school) that I couldn't fit into the approved categories of the times, so I took a sort of pride in being weird. The older I get, though, the harder it is to appear weird, or anything other than the grandmother that I am. On the other hand, I care less about what other people think.Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-62552389295624179532014-01-16T19:38:02.885-05:002014-01-16T19:38:02.885-05:00Jeremy -- Thank you! :)
Fiona -- Glad you appreci...Jeremy -- Thank you! :)<br /><br />Fiona -- Glad you appreciate the analogy! That degree thing torments me, too. I'm sorry to hear that one gets you. <br /><br />Giselle -- :) One of my favorite rants at home is about how I wish I could just decide to be a bitch. <br /><br />Daddy X -- That really illustrates how different things work for different people, and it's a good point. It's funny how what's comforting to one person will totally screw another person up. Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-17625476030813878632014-01-16T15:14:28.046-05:002014-01-16T15:14:28.046-05:00How brilliant to parallel worry and fetish. Those ...How brilliant to parallel worry and fetish. Those subtle differences in our knee-jerk kickers.<br /><br />One thing to keep in mind is while you're worrying if you look silly, everybody else is too busy worrying how they themselves are coming off. <br /><br />But we're all different, and your comment about being prepared for a situation is the opposite of my m.o. I'd just as soon run the extemporaneous route, adjusting to a situation as I go. I've fucked up royally public speaking, trying to work from an outline or speech. Bodes bad for readings. :>)Daddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-14546574499168750782014-01-16T15:13:57.986-05:002014-01-16T15:13:57.986-05:00Brilliant post! My most paralyzing worries seem a...Brilliant post! My most paralyzing worries seem always to involve phoning utilities to negotiate down prices. And not because I'm a bad negotiator... I'm actually pretty good at it. I guess I could just pay the crazy amounts they charge for services, but then I feel taken advantage of and that's no good. <br /><br />I miss the days when I was a proud bitch. I realize now how emotionally disconnected I was back then, but it was easier to get thinks done.Giselle Renardehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15955755448116234634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-30725430633892469462014-01-16T12:26:44.898-05:002014-01-16T12:26:44.898-05:00"At this point, any worry that takes me down ..."At this point, any worry that takes me down this track leads to a geological formation of well-connected thoughts and associations that are worn smooth as a river rock from constant handling." <br />Excellent analogy and imagery! Indeed the insecurities that terrorize us the most are those with the least amount of truth to them...to other people. If we could step out of ourselves and analyze them, we might agree. But they were planted there so long ago we don't remember them not being a part of us. And as you so eloquently say, they are so intrinsically a part of us that they help define us to ourselves. <br /><br />Me? I'm terrified at not being "good enough". Not good enough for my parents to be proud,and since they're both gone now, there's no way to redeem myself with them anymore so that worry rests there, dormant, until the middle of the night. Not good enough for my husband who works so hard, yet gets only the paltry contribution of a part-time salary from me because (here the original worry blends in), I got an English degree instead of something my parents told me would be more worth their money. Not good enough for my kids...etc. In fact, when my brother's wife had to go visit her dying mother and confided that they'd never been close so she didn't know what to say to the woman who had raised her, I told her to tell her mother that she had been a "good enough" mom. If my kids can tell me that, then my life hasn't been the waste that I see it as, in the middle of the night.Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-33570044837158436252014-01-16T07:42:10.666-05:002014-01-16T07:42:10.666-05:00Brilliant exploration, Annabeth!Brilliant exploration, Annabeth!Jeremy Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01980177431018869829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-55774262279170270022014-01-16T06:14:09.434-05:002014-01-16T06:14:09.434-05:00Thank you! And thank you for the kind words about ...Thank you! And thank you for the kind words about my intellect and eloquence. I'm sure it isn't rational to worry about seeming stupid, and has a lot to do with that geological formation thing I was talking about. <br /><br />I think the key for this one is that I feel more comfortable and confident when I can take my time. Writing is nice for me because I can read things over and check them before letting someone else see what I've said. Also, I prefer to think slowly, carefully, and alone or with a trusted friend. Speaking out loud, in the moment, I feel on the spot and frightened of what will slip out of my mouth (or whether I'll freeze up and be unable to get out a coherent thought). Many times, I find myself wishing I could have written something out or had time to step away (and I actually do often step out of stores, for example, then walk back in once I've caught up with myself). Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-69110910551822432032014-01-16T05:06:43.858-05:002014-01-16T05:06:43.858-05:00What an amazing insight, Annabeth. I think you'...What an amazing insight, Annabeth. I think you're spot on. The worries that really get to us are the ones to which we devote emotional energy - exactly like the sexual scenarios that never, ever fail to rev our motors.<br /><br />I do find it astonishing that someone with your intellect and eloquence would worry about seeming stupid. However, as you point out, the core worries, the ones that never fail, are not even remotely rational.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.com