tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post8112832703067197154..comments2023-10-25T05:30:54.507-04:00Comments on Oh Get A Grip!: For EqualityAshe Barkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03390519279886657608noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-66785115149617835442016-08-24T22:49:18.657-04:002016-08-24T22:49:18.657-04:00We women are so conditioned to be "nice"...We women are so conditioned to be "nice" at all costs, that it costs us dearly. I never cared about being "nice." I swear like a Marine, and as a kid I was in fistfights regularly. When I grew curves I shamelessly stole boyfriends, telling the girls who accosted me that I didn't mean any harm, I just wanted to "borrow" him. I gave him right back, didn't I? I didn't want to keep him, just to take him for a spin. No harm, no foul, right? Heh, heh.Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-70441213219434262292016-08-24T14:07:13.813-04:002016-08-24T14:07:13.813-04:00Yeah, I don't understand why we have so much t...Yeah, I don't understand why we have so much trouble being willing as a society to communicate (to everyone) that it's not okay to touch people who don't want to be touched. It's distressing how that goes on. <br /><br />I hope you broke that finger, too. In my experience, I usually sit there and try to figure out what to do for so long that the groping ends before I actually do anything. I've actually been working on getting over my urge to "be nice" at all costs so I can take action. It's surprisingly hard.Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-4239107008854277632016-08-24T14:05:20.789-04:002016-08-24T14:05:20.789-04:00I definitely think the overlapping conditions you ...I definitely think the overlapping conditions you mention contribute to the problem. One gives cover for the other. I'm not blaming people without social skills. I think the harassers know exactly what they're doing, and are hiding behind those with legitimate social issues to excuse what they know is bad behavior.Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-72997810330106816402016-08-24T14:04:10.102-04:002016-08-24T14:04:10.102-04:00I was sorry this antho didn't make it into pri...I was sorry this antho didn't make it into print. I think it had a smaller audience because of that. <br /><br />To Boldly Go sounds amazing! I will have to check this out! :)Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-39644073484319651842016-08-24T14:03:28.742-04:002016-08-24T14:03:28.742-04:00I was surprised no one had taken that angle alread...I was surprised no one had taken that angle already!<br /><br />You're so right about the broader issue of harassment at cons in general. I heard good things about the most recent world con, so maybe there's hope?Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-54376484010398480332016-08-24T14:02:38.100-04:002016-08-24T14:02:38.100-04:00Pretty sure growing up has always been complicated...Pretty sure growing up has always been complicated, going back to the beginning of time.Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-61869650687059887152016-08-17T14:55:18.811-04:002016-08-17T14:55:18.811-04:00It's been many years since I was groped by str...It's been many years since I was groped by strangers. I guess having grey hair is a symbol for them to leave you alone...you're just not sexy anymore. Whatever. It's nice to not have to worry about men feeling like they own me, just because they find me attractive. But aggravating to realize that not only does this still go on, but it's gotten worse.<br /><br />Boys need to be taught that when a woman is interested, she'll let you know. And if she says "no," that means "no." End of discussion. I don't know how there can be any confusion about that. <br /><br />BTW, I was once groped at a concert while I was in college, with my boyfriend who was over 6' tall sitting next to me. Some creep kept sliding his hand under my arm and grabbing at my breast. No amount of pushing his hand back stopped him. I could have just turned around and let the boyfriend deal with it. Instead, I grabbed one of his fingers and started pushing it backwards, against the back of his hand. I pushed until I heard at audible snap. I think I broke it. I sure hope so.Fiona McGierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495707848048468428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-79730220019606972112016-08-12T14:43:02.701-04:002016-08-12T14:43:02.701-04:00Annabeth, your snippet of the story does lure a re...Annabeth, your snippet of the story does lure a reader to the anthology. (Yet another TBR book!) Now that you've brought it up, I'm amazed that no one else here mentioned the "Coming Together" series in the context of the charity theme. (I have a few stories in those collections too.) I've seen some of the posts about sexual harassment at cons, and the reactions to it. Interesting that you and Lisabet mention almost opposite reasons for the harassment in geek culture: too many members lack social skills (the 4 science geeks in the sit-com Big Bang Theory come to mind), but some members have enough power to violate other people's personal space and get away with it (several characters in Game of Thrones come to mind). Those conditions could overlap. I hope some resolution can be found, not only in geek/fantasy cons.Jean Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08805088081675965859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-28397358170118007802016-08-11T23:42:44.208-04:002016-08-11T23:42:44.208-04:00I'm so glad you talked about Coming Together, ...I'm so glad you talked about Coming Together, Annabeth. I considered that as my topic for this theme, but I've blogged quite a lot about this before, so I wanted to do something new.<br /><br />I've never been to a con (though I consider myself a true geek, as have been many of my lovers), and find your observations distressing. Your excerpt demonstrates exactly what you mean, though. I've got to pick up a copy of this antho.<br /><br />While we're talking about Coming Together, geeks and cons, though, I have to mention my M/M cross-dressing story "To Boldly Go", in Nobilis Reed's CT antho, Coming Together: Outside the Box, a pioneer-themed collection benefiting <a href="http://cholangiocarcinoma.org/" rel="nofollow">http://cholangiocarcinoma.org/</a>. It takes place at a Trek convention, where the main character (a gay guy) goes dressed as Lt. Uhura. <br /><br />Cameron, I think you'd particularly like it... <br />Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-35270694383522703492016-08-11T21:53:41.080-04:002016-08-11T21:53:41.080-04:00I wish I'd thought of using the Coming Togethe...I wish I'd thought of using the Coming Together books for the theme of "charity," but then again, I'm glad I didn't, because you expand it in far more interesting ways than I could have. I've had stories in three books of the series, but mine were all reprints, which doesn't really count as charity. <br /><br />It's not just cosplay conventions that have the kind of harassment problem you describe. Science fiction and fantasy conventions have it, too, and not just among the cosplay elements. There have been such battles about conventions either not having effective anti-harassment policies or not enforcing the ones they have that a number of regular con-goers have boycotted them. The problem tends to be with older offenders who are fairly high in what passes for status in the community, so the con committees don't want to offend them. It's been pretty ugly. Sacchi Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10801164916418570059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9156334464585894857.post-85191539328010165242016-08-11T15:10:56.590-04:002016-08-11T15:10:56.590-04:00Jeez... And I thought it was complicated growing u...Jeez... And I thought it was complicated growing up in the 50's & 60's. Daddy Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12927663248424944119noreply@blogger.com