Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Just a Matter of Time?

by Daddy X

I once heard that the measure of a friend is whether or not they’d send you money if you were in trouble on the other side of the world. That was a pretty good gauge until those Nigerian princes came along. One good way to tell is by how long you can ride in a car in silence with somebody and not feel awkward or uncomfortable.

How much time could you spend alone with your best friend? In a car? On a long bus ride? As roommates? Could it be that the closeness of our friendships can be measured by how much time we can stand to be around each other? When dealing with others, we have to make compromises.  Are those compromises worth it?

Did that woman you dated have a shrill voice? God, the staff must have heard her in the kitchen complaining about the food. All fucking night long. So sharp, my ears rang for hours. So embarrassing.

Was that dude for real? I couldn’t wait to get away from that asshole. It was the lunch from Hades!

Then there are friends we are perfectly happy to be with. But a couple of hours tends to be enough. Some we’d have to think about taking along on a vacation.  For a weekend, anyway. Wouldn’t want it to be a longer trip. Except for the Jamison’s. I’ll bet we could even go to the Jamison’s cabin and stay with them all summer. They’re so gracious.

So there are those we can have a short conversation with, those we can spend a day with, and those we can take a vacation with.

And then there are those we choose to live our lives with. All of it. Those we can wake with each day, who can stick beside us all day, every day.   

Yeah, that’s the ultimate friendship.


And now, to get that sappy taste out of your mouth, here’s a bit of filth to gargle with.

Enter our favorite idiots, Hank and Delbert, best of friends:

                                                  C’mon Over



“Yo, Hank—it’s me, Del.”

“What is it this time?”

“You should see the chick I got over here, man. Total nympho.”

“She’s over there now?”

“Yeah man. C’mon over. You won’t believe this shit. Met her at that bar outside town. She was blowing guys behind the pool table.”

“She’s still at your place? She didn’t run away screaming when she walked in that shithole?”

“What’s that?”

“You’re not the greatest housekeeper, after all.”

“Aw, that’s cold, man. Here I am, offering you this fine piece of ass, and you do me like that? Some fucking nerve. Besides, she was pretty drunk, and I already fucked her in a toilet stall for chrissakes.”

“Ah, so now it comes out. You took advantage of another one, didn’t you?”

“She wasn’t that drunk; at least not at first.”

“And what about later? You fucked her all night, didn’t you?”

“Yep. As many times as I wanted, every hole. Jerked off in her hair too. She just slept through it all.”

“You fucked an unconscious woman? What the fuck’s wrong with you, Del? What she say when she woke up?”

“She ain’t up yet.”

“I’ll be right over.”


This flasher was chosen for the ERWA Summer Gallery, along with “Carnival Ride,” a story that has its roots in autobiography.


  1. Daddy:
    Interesting and accurate insights about different levels of friendship.

    I love all dialogue flashers although the content of the story may raise a few eyebrows. This one has very distinct characters and a full story arc. You've got male.

  2. I agree totally that the best friends are the ones you can be silent with for long periods of time and it's not awkward. My husband and my kids...that's about it. I consider myself lucky to have a few close women friends who are walking along a similar path in life, with whom I regularly have lunch/dinner, to stay attuned to each others' lives. Then there are acquaintances that I stay in touch with long-distance, because we used to be tight.
    And of course, then there's everyone here, which has added a whole new level of friends to my experience.

    A variation on your idea of degrees of closeness is the old idea of asking someone who you would lay your life down for. Most of us would for immediate family: maybe for parents, definitely for kids, spouse? Maybe for siblings...even longer shot about cousins/aunts/uncles. But for friends? The further removed they are from our blood lines, usually the less someone would be willing to make that sacrifice. Altruism is the last emotional ability to develop and some people never incorporate it into their lives. That's why the highest medal of honor the military gives is for laying down one's life for, of course.

    As for the short...ew.

    1. Thanx for your comments, Fiona-

      Altruism lands right at the bottom of a lot of knuckle-draggers priority lists. Consideration of others is interpreted as weakness by individuals and systems of thought that emphasize physical strength and emotional disconnect. It's why we the psyche needs to dehumanize those we choose to engage in wars of atrocity.

      And the short? Hehe. Speaking of knuckle-draggers, huh? These two jerks figure in a few of my stories. For a more sympathetic read, try the other piece "Carnival Ride" in this quarter's ERWA Gallery. then go into Gallery.

  3. Whether I can tolerate seeing someone in the morning is a huge test. I like almost no one before I've had coffee. So, yeah, those examples you gave are interesting ways to gauge.

    As far as the short, my question is why, if the woman in question is "a total nympho," this guy found it necessary to get her drunk to the point of unconsciousness. (Or is she a "nympho" because of what happens to her while she's unconscious?) One could write volumes of commentary on society about just that one juxtaposition.

    I will say that I prefer rape stories to acknowledge that the action is rape, which I'd say is happening here. I read (more than?) my share of non-con, but I can't stand when the victim turns out to "actually like it" (played without realistic ambivalence/distress) or when the story is written in a way that suggests the rapist's actions are romantic (as distinct from what the rapist believes). Your guys here are pretty clearly dirtbags...

  4. Momma X can be tough in the AM too. I have to get a good line on her mood before I say too much or wind up in trouble for the whole day. (If she spanked me it would be so much easier)

    In the flasher, I think the girl in question was already pretty drunk when Del encountered her, but that's a fine point. I think Hank and Del are opportunists without scruples. No romance here, hehe. An exaggeration, no doubt, but I was going for over-the top. Hope it didn't offend. Not the intent. Using Hank's assumptions, I tried to imply the girl *would* get the hell out when she wakes.

    1. I should just carry a flogger in the morning as a warning signal...

      I'm not offended by the flash piece. I wanted to acknowledge the story part of your post, so I went ahead and put in my two cents. My Literotica reading includes plenty in the same category, so I've had a lot of opportunity to consider what works for me in that respect and what doesn't.

  5. Hi, Daddy,

    I really liked "Carnival Ride". For one thing, carnivals and fairs always make me nostalgic and horny (for me the two feelings are related). And then I loved the twist at the end, not what you expect at all.

    As far as the time issue - three days after my (eventual) husband and I decided to live together, we took off on a two week cross-country driving trip, from Massachusetts to California. If that doesn't test a friendship, I don't know what would.

    It was fabulous. We got along as if we'd known each other for years, rather than just six months, most of which had been spent with a continent between us. Truly amazing.

  6. When it clicks, it clicks. Nice to be with someone and stay relaxed and spontaneous.

  7. I often wonder what a good traveling companion would be like. Above all I think adaptable. Willing to adjust without complaint. I can;t imagine would that would be like to have had friends you;d lived with all your life and even spent time on the road with. I think that would be wonderful.

    And then of course the one you wake up with, when that's working well. Marriage is more about friendship anyway I believe.


    1. Absolutely, Garce.

      Traveling often goes sideways and we need to change plans at a moments notice. Whiners don't make it.

  8. I've told my kids that a good marriage has 3 equal parts:
    Passion--especially in the beginning, what Desmond Morris, the anthropologist calls the "bonding phase".
    Respect--you need to feel that your concerns will be listened to, that you won't be belittled, and that your mate respects you opinions.
    Friendship--no matter how hot the passion is at the start when you're young, it will cool as you grow older together, though we're doing our best to keep the pilot light flickering! (Daddy X, you and Momma X are an inspiration!). You have to be best friends with your mate, so you will enjoy doing things together that don't involve sex.

    1. Yep, Momma and I have always said we'd rather be around each other than anybody else. And *most* of time that includes rather than being alone. ;>)

  9. Good post, Daddy X. And yes, I got the impression from your flasher that the "slut" will scramble out of bed as soon as she wakes up. This piece is definitely an antidote to mush, with an effective punch line.


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