Many moons ago when I was in the theatre, I had a friend, Mary by name, who believed strongly in the occult, fortune telling, tarot readers, the lot. One day she convinced me to join her at the Spiritualists Association of Great Britain (quite a title eh?) in Grosvenor Square in London. She had made an appointment for us to chat with a lady who went by the monicker Shaka Kan - no kidding. Well old Skaka who was as mystic looking as the greengrocer's wife at the corner shop - told us many things most of which didn't mean anything to me at the time and most of which I have long forgotten. She did get one thing right though. She told me I would make a long Journey across the oceans across the land until I reached a desert city where I would work for in an immense building for an almighty big company.
Of course I had visions of a Saudi Arabian palace and me being looked after by some fantastically rich potentate, and saying things like 'peel me a grape' to one of the many slaves that hung around to do my bidding. Well, that didn't happen, but I did some years later make that trip over the ocean and the land and ended up in the desert working at the brand new MGM Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas Nevada. Over the years I have journeyed through most of the States, Europe, but never made it to the Middle East - not that I'd want to go there right now.
The journey I took that more or less changed my life and the way I look at the world now was when I ventured into the world of writing. I didn't start out as an author of erotic romance, that sort of crept up on me. One of my first books was in fact titled The Journeyer and tells the story of a young Scotsman seeking a new life after the English had more or less laid waste to the Highlands and banned the wearing of the clan tartans, speaking Gaelic etc. Jamie and his mother plan to leave for the New World, but many an adventure awaits him before he reaches the colonies and his new life among the Native Americans.
Young and naive Jamie is press-ganged onto a pirate ship captained by the dashing Antonio Rodriguez and in this snippet I managed to write my first real attempt at man on man attraction - which now when I read it is strictly PG rated!
This I feel is Jamie's journey to a place in his life he never anticipated.
Jamie looked long and hard at the man, trying to understand what he was feeling at this moment. His mind was a turmoil of emotion. He liked this man!There was something about him that inspired him, thrilled him even…and yet, what had taken place a moment ago…was that not a sign of weakness among men? He had no experience of these things, only what the ministers had preached at him when he was a child, but Jamie was not a big believer in the Bible or its teachings. He had no fear of God in his far off remote heaven; seemingly uncaring for the suffering of the people he had supposedly created.
Antonio Rodriguez was not a weak man. He was brave…reckless maybe, but brave—and a respected captain. He was handsome, intelligent and would be, Jamie instinctively felt, a loyal friend. But he should not give in to the urges that now coursed through his body.
“I am sorry, Captain. I canna’ give what it is you want from me.”
“I understand, Jamie.” Rodriguez looked away. “I will not trouble you again.You may go.”
Jamie turned and left the cabin, closing the door quietly behind him. He breathed a deep sigh, not of relief, for that he did not feel.What he did feel was a strange sense of loss. He walked to the ship’s side and looked out over the ocean, his hands gripping the rail till his knuckles turned white.Damnation, he thought with bitterness. These feelings the captain had invoked in him were not so easily shaken off. He could not deny the man’s attraction, or the sense of excitement he felt in his presence. Could he go where Rodriguez wanted to take him? Could he put aside his disgust of what that meant? No, not disgust—fear, perhaps. Yes, that was it. He was afraid—afraid of what he now felt. Afraid of the sensations Rodriguez’s lips had kindled in his
body. Even now the memory of that feather-light touch brought a rush of blood to his groin. He groaned with frustration and turned to look back at the door to the Captain’s cabin. Did he dare? Could he go back and face the man and tell him he’d been a fool to reject him?
He took one uncertain step toward the cabin, and then stopped. He looked up as above him the sails, sharply etched against the darkening blue of the sky, billowed and flapped in the wind. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath to steady his resolve, then…he knocked on the cabin door. His nerve almost failed him when he heard the command to enter. Swallowing hard, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Rodriguez stood in the center of the room, the glass of rum still in his hand,a questioning look on his face. “Yes?”
Jamie found he could not move. His lips parted but he could find no words to say.
“What is it, Jamie?” Rodriguez made no move toward him.
“Antonio…” The name escaped Jamie’s lips before he could stop himself.
“Yes, Jamie?” Rodriguez stood perfectly still, his eyes searching Jamie's face.
“I…I’m sorry, Captain…”
“Antonio will suffice, my friend. I like the way it sounds from your lips.”
Jamie took one stumbling step toward him and pulled him into his arms. “Och, I made a fool of myself,” he breathed against Antonio’s neck. “You…you were only trying to be kind and a gentleman…”
“No,” Antonio laughed gently, his cheek pressed against Jamie’s. “I was trying to seduce you.”
“Aye, you were, you scoundrel,” Jamie growled. “And it seems you’ve succeeded after all.”
“Are you sure?” Antonio’s lips touched Jamie’s ear making him shudder with desire.
“Yes, I am sure. I’m sure that this is where I want to be right now. Here, the two of us, holding each other…”
Antonio’s mouth stilled any more words as he kissed Jamie’s lips, gently at first, then with an urgency that started a flood of sensations both men could not resist. Jamie moaned, as his body seemed to melt under the heat of their combined passion.
He drew back suddenly. “But I must smell like an animal, from the fight and the loading and the prisoners! Are you not disgusted?”
Antonio’s nose wrinkled. “You do smell like a horse I once owned. Here, let’s get these clothes off you and I will take care of the rest.”
“What about the men? Will they not wonder…?” Jamie asked, allowing his shirt to be removed.
Antonio smiled. “They respect my privacy—and besides,” he added with a wink, “I will lock the door.”
Jamie watched him pour a liquid from a small vial into the basin of clean water he always seemed to have in his cabin. He then dipped a cloth into the water and beckoned Jamie over. His eyes lit up with admiration, as the young Scot stood before him, naked and trusting.
“Essence of sandalwood,” he explained as Jamie sniffed at the cloth, proceeding to wash the sweat and grime from Jamie’s smoothly muscled back and chest, causing the young man to tremble with desire. As Antonio knelt before him, touching him where no other man had before, he drew back slightly, his hand staying the sensuous movement and feel of the warm damp cloth in Antonio’s hand.
“Sorry, no one has ever done this to me afore…” he gasped.
“I am sorry too, for them…” Antonio smiled up at him, then began to wash Jamie’s legs and feet.When he had done, he handed Jamie a towel and watched the young Scot dry himself.
“Are you not a little overdressed for what you had in mind?” Jamie enquired, blushing at his own brazenness.
Antonio’s eyes widened in surprise, then he laughed. “So, not quite as shy as you led me to believe.” He pulled Jamie into his arms. “If I am overdressed, you must remedy that.”
Their mouths met in a kiss born of hunger and mutual longing. Jamie felt as though he were drowning in a sea of visceral sensation. Every nerve ending, every part of his senses came alive with a burning desire to become a part of the man who now held him in this crushing embrace. There seemed to be not enough closeness even as their bodies arched and strained together. All that had previously seemed alien to Jamie, now became almost a second nature. If Antonio had taken the lead, Jamie was a willing and able follower. His hands ripped away the fabric of Antonio’s shirt, his lips brushed the fine hair that covered the man’s chest and abdomen. As he unbuckled Antonio’s belt, he raised his head and smiled into his captain’s face. All vestiges of restraint were gone in that smile, for he knew now, without a doubt, where it was he wanted
The Journeyer was fairly successful on Amazon and it encouraged me to go on writing. However a friend who'd read it mentioned she would have liked a bit more 'spice in the mix' as she put it. I wasn't sure I could sustain spice all the way through so I decided to write a series of short stories with an erotic edge. One of the stories My Vampire and I ended up being a lot longer than I had intended and when I submitted it to the Totally Bound publisher in the UK, even longer and a lot spicier. That was I suppose the second phase of my writing journey - erotica bound. An exciting and seemingly never ending journey.