By
Lisabet Sarai
“The
adverb is not your friend.”
This
pronouncement, by Stephen King in his influential little volume On
Writing, has inspired floods of red ink. Adverbs—especially
those ending in -ly—arouse
the irrational ire of critics and editors. “Weak!” they exclaim.
“Verbose!” “Unnecessary!” “Outdated!” Some of the more
poorly educated even claim that adverbs violate the rules of grammar.
Nonsense.
I’m
a writer. That means words are my tools. All words. I’m not
about to countenance some pundit (or even a best-selling, highly
skilled author) telling me I should jettison an entire class of words
just because they’ve become unfashionable.
I
understand the logic behind King’s critique. Novice authors
frequently overuse this part of speech, describing the manner in
which a generic action is performed rather than finding a stronger
or more specific verb. Excessive use of adverbs can be a sign of
laziness. Certainly, they’re not the best tool for every occasion.
A rich repertoire of evocative verbs can be far more effective than a
bustling stable of adverbs.
That’s
no argument for banning them outright.
Editors
argue that adverbs slow prose down, making it less potent and direct.
That’s probably true. However, sometimes I want to slow the
pace of a paragraph. My personal style differs from the spare,
unadorned prose King creates. I learned to write in a less hurried
era, when an author could afford to explore her scenes and her
characters in a more leisurely manner.
I
had the notion that I’d post a few paragraphs from my current work
in progress, then strip out the adverbs to show the effects of this
edit. What I discovered is that my most recent stories use far fewer
adverbs than I expected. I guess the unfashionable status of this
part of speech has in fact influenced my writing as well. I also
realized that these days I tend to use adverbs to modify adjectives
or participles rather than verbs—to qualify or limit descriptions.
In
any case, I think removing these adverbs would make the prose less
effective. In some cases, it would even change the meaning. Here’s
a snippet to illustrate what I mean.
“Would you like to see my drawing, Dr. Gardner?” Alisha offers me a sheet of paper, presumably the picture that so thoroughly captured her attention yesterday. Color explodes off the page, garnet red, cerulean blue, shockingly bright purple. In contrast with its violent hues, the lines of the drawing are delicate and precise. Meticulously rendered gardens and palaces fill the every inch of the paper—arched gates curtained with ivy, marble fountains spilling silvery cascades over velvet green lawns, onion-domed towers soaring toward feathery clouds. I'm reminded of the jewel-toned miniatures painted by the eighteenth century Ottoman masters, until I look more closely. Then it is Hieronymous Bosch that comes to mind. For in the shadowy corners formed by vine-draped walls, and on the lushly carpeted floors of the pavilions, I see tiny beings—not people, no, not with those swollen heads, sharp-taloned limbs and tooth-lined maws— engaged in the most perverse couplings imaginable. Here an enormous penis splits a dripping orifice. There, a long, tri-forked tongue penetrates multiple bodies simultaneously. A fat-assed creature squats and strains above a gaping mouth. A head literally disappears between splayed female thighs while smaller beings perch on the woman's abdomen to gnaw on her pendulous breasts.My stomach turns. My cunt melts. Both reactions are completely inappropriate in a therapist. I swallow the disgust rising in my throat, ignore the desire smoldering in my sex, and hand the sheet back to Alisha.
~
From “Countertransference” by Lisabet Sarai, unpublished work in
progress
Let’s
strip out the adverbs:
“Would you like to see my drawing, Dr. Gardner?” Alisha offers me a sheet of paper, presumably the picture that captured her attention yesterday. Color explodes off the page, garnet red, cerulean blue, bright purple. In contrast with its violent hues, the lines of the drawing are delicate and precise. Rendered gardens and palaces fill the every inch of the paper—arched gates curtained with ivy, marble fountains spilling silvery cascades over velvet green lawns, onion-domed towers soaring toward feathery clouds. I'm reminded of the jewel-toned miniatures painted by the eighteenth century Ottoman masters, until I look more. Then it is Hieronymous Bosch that comes to mind. For in the shadowy corners formed by vine-draped walls, and on the carpeted floors of the pavilions, I see tiny beings—not people, no, not with those swollen heads, sharp-taloned limbs and tooth-lined maws— engaged in the most perverse couplings imaginable. Here an enormous penis splits a dripping orifice. There, a long, tri-forked tongue penetrates multiple bodies. A fat-assed creature squats and strains above a gaping mouth. A head disappears between splayed female thighs while smaller beings perch on the woman's abdomen to gnaw on her pendulous breasts.My stomach turns. My cunt melts. Both reactions are inappropriate in a therapist. I swallow the disgust rising in my throat, ignore the desire smoldering in my sex, and hand the sheet back to Alisha.
In
my opinion, this snippet is less dynamic than the original. It feels
flat. I use adverbs for emphasis here, and to convey nuances of
excess.
Your
mileage may vary, of course. Each of us uses our verbal tools in
different ways. You may strive for the lean, muscular prose of
Stephen King and Elmore Leonard and personally eschew adverbs as
unnecessary ornamentation.
Do
not presume, however, to banish them outright. I want them in my
tool box, along with all the other delightful and varied structures
in the English language. If that makes me a curmudgeon, so be it.
Don’t get me started on the subject of the universally condemned passive voice!
