Does this blog post make me look fat?

by Helen E. H. Madden

Seriously, I have to ask, because I don't usually blog about my weight. I'm considered the skinny-minny in my circle of friends, thought I'm not really skinny. Not fat either, just somewhere in between. However, I have friends who are overweight and I don't usually feel comfortable talking about what I weigh, even though weight does seem to be the topic to discuss among mommy bloggers (of which I am one, as well as an erotica writer).

So what is it about weight and fat, anyway? Why are we so obsessed with it? It's already been pointed out in previous posts this week that we have an obsession with what other people weigh, as though we like to point and stare and say "Hey! Look at the fat people!" Stupid isn't it? Like people who are carrying extra weight deserve to be ridiculed and punished.

I've often heard people say that being fat is a sign of over-indulgence. People who are fat don't just eat too much; they're lazy, slothful, indolent. I don't think I have ever been lazy or slothful. Certainly not in the past couple of years. Between two small children and my writing career, I've been exhaustingly busy.

I've also been overweight, in spite of the fact that I am a so-called skinny-minny.

I haven't been a lot overweight. I've just been stuck with 10 pounds left over from my second pregnancy that I haven't been able to lose to save my life. It's only a problem because my favorite clothes don't fit very well, and because my bum knees ache more at with those extra 10 pounds hanging around my ass. There's also the little problem of the extra weight affecting my menstrual cycle. I don't know why, but weighing an extra 10 pounds causes me to retain more water during my period, so that I'm suddenly carrying an extra 15 pounds and nothing I own fits. Plus they make my period more painful. It's kind of a bummer, you know? So I decided the extra weight needed to go.

But the weight didn't want to budge. I did my damnedest for two years to exercise and eat right, but nothing seemed to work. I went swimming two or three times a week, cranking out the laps. I lifted weights and hopped on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes at a time. I spent five hours a week in karate classes. I sweated and strainged. I fit as much exercise as I could into my busy schedule, and I always looked for new ways to fit in more. Because exercise and activity would burn calories and make me lost weight, right?

Wrong. I'd exercise one day, and be dead tired the next. With two kids and a full workload, I didn't have the luxury of sleeping in, so I'd get up and push myself through my schedule. Even though I ate healthy meals, I was constantly hungry, craving snacks I knew I shouldn't eat - sugar, fat, caffeine. Bad stuff, but those snacks were be about the only thing that could keep me awake so I ate them and trudged through my day - a day that usually ended around midnight, thanks to my workload. Then I'd crawl into bed, get up five hours later and drag myself through the whole routine again.

I went through the past two years like that, always tired, always hungry, and never losing any weight. Things finally came to a head around last Christmas when I got pissed off about not having enough time to enjoy the holidays. My schedule was packed with exercise, work, my daughter's school, and that was it. My inbox was overflowing to the point of craziness. I had no time for anything else, no hobbies, no fun, no lazing around. I had pared down my life to the bare minimum just so I could keep up with my crazy schedule, and it sucked. I wanted to bake cookies, dammit! I wanted to laze on the couch and read the Sunday paper while sipping a hot coffee and eating a piece of toast! I wanted a hot bath with bath oils and smelly candles and a trashy novel!

In short, I wanted back the simple things in my life that I had given up to keep pace with everything else that was going on.

It has taken me four months to turn things around. Slowly but surely I have cleared stuff off my calendar, and in light of this year, I am rethinking next year's schedule. I don't want to work myself to death. I want my simple pleasures, my self-indulgences, back in my life for good.

To give myself more time to enjoy my life and my family, I cut way back on exercise for a while as I straightened out my work. When I got the work under control and could finally get to bed most nights before 10PM, I found a way to exercise that wasn't going to demand too much of me. The Hubster bought me a Wii Fit, and I've been having a blast playing silly games on the thing, all the while losing weight. Not much, just a few pounds, but I'm finally on my way back to my prepregnancy weight.

It seems so strange and yet so wonderful to finally not bust my ass all the time and just relax instead. I had a nice lazy day this past Sunday. I ate breakfast while lingering over the funny pages. I had a long hot bath and read one of my trashy shojo manga (Japanese romance comics - SWEET!). I folded some laundry, had some tea, played around with some artwork on the computer, read stories with the kids, drank a glass of wine and hopped onto the Wii for a bit. A lazy day. A fun day.

A day of indulgence. I want more of them. I want to spend a day over Spring break baking pie with my oldest daughter. I want to pick dandelions with the youngest. I want to sleep in curled up next to my husband. I want to soak in a tub surrounded by flickering candles while reading "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" (it's a real book, no kidding!).

The more I relax and take time to indulge myself, the better I feel. The fact that I'm losing weight as I calm down does not surprise me now. If I can work too hard, if I exhaust myself trying to do everything, I have to pay for it somehow.

If you're having trouble losing weight, try taking a break. Enjoy a nice dinner, enjoy a nice life. Enjoy yourself, no matter what you weigh.

Zaftig Goddess, by Helen E. H. Madden

Voluptuous - I love the word

Posted by Jude Mason

According to Microsoft Bookshelf 2000:

1. Giving, characterized by, or suggesting ample, unrestrained pleasure to the senses: Voluptuous sculptural forms; a voluptuous ripe fruit; a full voluptuous figure (Sounds sexy as hell to me)

2. a. Devoted to or indulging in sensual pleasures. b. Directed toward or anticipating sensual pleasure: voluptuous thoughts. c. Arising from a contributing to the satisfaction of sensuous or sensual desires. Synonyms: Sensuous, pleasurable, pleasure loving, luxurious, thrill seeking carnal, fleshy, sybaritic

Phew, all righty. Voluptuous sounds pretty damn hot to me. It also means well fleshed, curvaceous and lush. All good things. Don't you agree?

Now, when I went online and did a search for voluptuous women, I was shocked by some of the pictures I found. Thin as a rail waifs who couldn't have weighed more than a hundred pounds soaking wet.

Another showed a beautiful Jen Hunter, curves in all the right places and then a scandalously frail Jen who looks as if a stiff breeze would knock her over and possibly break her bones.

As you can see, in the picture to the left, she's a vibrant, healthy woman with the well fleshed curves of an attractive young woman. The picture on the right, in my opinion, is terrifying. She's frail and looks as if she's been deathly ill. I'm sorry, but if that's what the young women of today call attractive and the pinnacle of what they want to look at, I'm glad I'm long past it.

When I think of a beautiful woman, and as a bisexual woman I think about it quite a bit, LOL, I picture someone with curves. A woman with a little padding and lush breasts, well rounded hips, and thighs that uh... someone can hang onto.

The amazing picture to the left simply caught my breath when I saw it. The woman isn't fat, but she's got ample curves. Lovely curves, in my opinion. To me, she's more along the lines of what a beautiful woman should look like. Yes?

It seems ever since the fashion industry gained such recognition and women had access to seeing what some designer thought of as beautiful (and I still think it was a man how disliked women) we've allowed them too much power over us. Models are waif thin. I swear if many of them became ill they'd have no resources to fight it off and many of them would perish. They don't have periods, their bodies don't have the resources to allow it. They damage their health, and their possible future as mothers. How sad is that?

Remember Marilyn Monroe? She was the epitome of what womanhood should look like in the years she was in Hollywood. Now, she'd be dieting constantly and ashamed of her body.

Blink!

From what I've heard, she was heading that way, in a hurry just before she died. Her looks had become so important to her, to her 'public' that if she gained or lost a pound, it was in the papers.

Can you imagine living your life like that? Such a tremendous waste of talent. ( I tell you, I would have given my eye teeth to have a figure like hers, at any time!)

Pick up a woman's magazine today. Pretty much any of them, and you'll find weight loss aids, diet pills, powders and meals to slim down by. You'll see stick thin models wearing size 2 clothes that few women will ever be able to wear. And to be completely honest, wouldn't want to fit into if they were thinking with their brains and not some misguided delusional mind.

You'll see men, who are also in this terrible travesty. Slim yes, but with chests bulging with muscles and abs that look more like a washboard than anything human. What a horrible time to raise children. Girls 9 years old dieting. Boys not much older worried they won't cut it in the circles that count at school. They don't have enough hair on their chest/genitals. Their voice is too high. They aren't well endowed enough. What on Earth are we doing to our children?

All righty, lets have a look at some incredibly sexy women. Yup, a tad well-padded, but yowssahs!

From the pages of Hips and Curves, a lovely site that offers some awesome clothing for the Voluptuous women among us. Check them out if you like your women a little more lush, a lot more sexy. The url is: http://www.hipsandcurves.com/

She's a witch... and she's amazing! Wouldn't you love to have her trick or treating at your door, or in your bedroom? Cast a spell on me, please.

The woman to the right, she's dreaming of the lover who left her earlier that morning. She's flushed and her chest heaves with her desire for him...or her.

She's amazing, she hot and her breasts are pressing against the cups of her lingerie. Her cleavage begs a tongue sliding along the delicate cleft. Her thighs are warm, abundant, and draw a hand toward them, to cup and caress.

And then there's little Miss Innocent below, who teases with a smile--draws you close with a wink and could ruin you with the
crook of her finger I'm sure.

She dangerous, she'll eat you alive, and you'd love every damn minute of it wouldn't you?

Wouldn't you love to come home to this bundle of smoldering heat? Even if you knew she'd eat you alive the moment you didn't live up to what she thought of as her rights to pleasure. You'd die trying. LOL

Answers: I wish I had some that I could guarantee would work for everyone. I myself was one of the lucky ones when it came to weight, I was too busy with other issues to think skinny or not skinny enough. I had curves and that can be its own problem. My remedy wasn't to lose the curves but to run from the situation.

My own daughter, she and I always managed to talk about important things when she was growing up. Keeping her head on straight was one of those goals I set for myself and together we managed to do it. Talking, I mean really talking was huge. It doesn't always work though and I know how incredibly lucky I was.

I guess reinforcing, from the age of 2, how important health is rather than beauty. That's gotta help.

I hope you enjoyed my little sojourn into what I think of as sexy women and the importance of not letting someone else dictate what beauty is.

Thin is only one body shape. God has made many others and they are all amazing.

I'd love to hear what you have to say, experiences you've had or your thoughts on the topic.

Hugs