Contextual Kink

by Giselle Renarde

Sweet's always asking, "What's something you want to do that we've never done before?" I don't know. Considering she once told me we'd never have a sexual relationship, we've done a metric fuck-tonne of... well, fucking.

I flip the question back at her every time, and every time she's got an answer on the tip of her tongue: "I want to have sex with you outside. I want you naked in the woods."

Thanks, but no thanks. Been there, done that. Sex in the woods reminds me of being a teenager and having nowhere else to go. (Do kids really have sex in their parents' houses these days? I could never have done that. Yikes! Never!)

Anyhoo, Sweet's been extra wonderful lately and I took on short-term employment this spring to earn some extra cash, so last week I whisked her away on a romantic adventure... IN THE WOODS.

Well, not really in the woods, but by overlooking a lake. There were trees around so, yeah, you know what? Let's call it the woods. I rented a quaint little cottage and treated her to a magnificent meal. After that, I was pretty much ready to explode. I was so full it hurt to laugh--and I know, because Sweet made me laugh the whole way back to our cottage.

I took a bath while she sauntered in and out of the washroom, taking off her makeup and beginning her extensive nightly beauty regime. After that, I put on a cotton camisole just long enough to cover my butt. Sweet tossed her silky red nightie over her head, and we played a board game in front of the TV. She indulged me in a rerun of Night Court, which (as you may recall from previous posts), I wasn't allowed to watch when I was a kid. It's just an old sitcom, but for me it'll always represent being naughty and getting away with it.

It must have been eleven at night by the time we'd finished our game. Without a word, I slipped outside. The night was wonderfully dark--something I'm not accustomed to, living in the heart of a major metropolitan centre. The only lights around came from the other side of the lake, which was a long way off.

Beyond our deck there was a stretch of land, a few trees by the shore, and then the lake. Earlier in the day, Canada Geese and about a thousand little goslings had been feasting on something in the grass. Now they were somewhere out there, honking at God-knows-what.

There were other cottages on the property, but ours was closest to the lake. If I stood at either edge of the deck, I could look back and see those cottages. One was lit up, but I didn't see anyone inside. The other had been dark all night.

Sweet followed me outside and wrapped a pashmina around my shoulders. I needed it. The night air was cool, for June, but once Sweet folded me into her arms, the chill just fell away. Her body warmed me from behind as she asked, "Why did you come out here?"

Did she really have to ask? "So you would follow me."

She giggled and kissed my neck and, after looking around in every direction (including UP, just in case), I slipped the straps of my camisole down my arms until it pooled around my ankles.

And here's the thing: even though Sweet's been asking for sex outdoors for years, I didn't get naked for her. Well, maybe it was a little bit for her. Maybe it was a lot for her. But in that moment, in the darkness, under the stars, with a gaggle of geese honking like old-timey automobiles stuck in an old-timey traffic jam, I really just wanted to strip down to nothing.

I didn't plan this encounter when I booked the cottage. I didn't choose a relatively remote location so we'd have the opportunity. I had no idea our deck wouldn't be visible from the neighbouring cabins. It wasn't until we got there and saw the space that we both knew, without even hinting to each other, that we'd found the perfect place.

So Sweet got her wish. She got her sex in the great outdoors.

And I got mine.

Twice.

Banging Away in the Great Outdoors

By Faith Bicknell-Brown

“Look, honey! There’s a couple having sex on the balcony across from our window!”

When I was about 18, I was at a local park where there was a manmade beach. I swam past a couple who were in the middle of sex. I didn’t know this at first, but as I dogpaddled by, their movements and soft noises made it clear what they were doing.

It embarrassed me to pieces; I suddenly grew flippers and got the hell out of there.

Over the years, I’ve bumped into couples who were doing the dirty deed in dark hallways of bars or in parking lots, and, as I got into writing for men’s magazines, I used some of the ideas these encounters inspired to write fiction that sold well. Heck, I’ve even fictionalized a couple of my personal experiences.

So what is it about sex outdoors that is so enticing? Is it the chance of getting caught? Maybe it’s just the idea of someone watching as you do the oingo-poingo.

What? You’ve never boinked outside? Why not? Are you afraid?

Regardless of whether or not you’re one who has or hasn’t enjoyed outdoor sex, the thrill of getting caught is a heady sensation. Those whom I’ve spoken to about having sex in the great outdoors also state that the bare sensation, your butt on a flat rock, in grass, or on a sandy beach as the wind or water caresses your skin serves to heighten the feeling spiraling through the body as you reach for the big boom.

Hmm...there might be some truth in that theory, but perhaps it’s merely that outdoor sex awakens something primeval within us. After all, our ancestors were whacking one another over the head as they chose the man or woman they wanted and then bent him or her over a boulder or a log. {Damn, that bark’s rough!} Or maybe humped against a tree as the dinosaurs roamed in the distance. (Ouch! Who let those giant red ants out? Now my butt’s gonna be three times bigger. Oh, no. I know that look you Neanderthal beefcake. My hoohaw’s already chafed from all the bark!) So is it instinct that awakens within us when making love outdoors?

I really don’t know, but it would be cool to ask the dinosaurs what they saw going on in the bushes. No! Not those bushes! Sheesh.

To read more of Faith's work:

Curious about outdoor sex? A Taste of Ecstasy is full of stories where sex happens in wild places and the chance of getting caught in the act is almost guaranteed. Some of these stories appreared in a few of the men's mags I've written for, but have been revised. One involves a strawberry patch, another a candy cane in a subway car, another in a titty pink Cadillac. And if you like a good laugh, this title is full of zany humor.

Available at RRP: http://redrosepublishing.com/bookstore/product_info.php?manufacturers_id=141&products_id=420

Fictionwise: http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/b88978/A-Taste-of-Ectasy/Zinnia-Hope/?si=0

At ARE: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-atasteofecstasy-16432-149.html

If you'd like more information about my work, please visit my website www.faithbicknellbrown.com

Thanks so much, Faith, for sharing your take on our topic this week.