Friday, April 24, 2009

Helen Makes A Porno

By Helen E. H. Madden


Actually, I've made TWO pornos, and by making I mean I wrote, directed, and animated two dirty flicks. Yes, that's right, animated. Remember, I have many talents, and one of them is cartooning.


Sometime around 1999, the Hubster bought me a program called Flash, which you may have heard of. Flash was a simple, yet very flexible, 2D animation program priced just right for the amateur cartoonist. It was simple to use, and even allowed for the addition of audio clips and a soundtrack to work with the animation. In fact, my copy of Flash came with a simple music looping program called Acid Pro 3. The idea behind Acid was that you picked out various clips of music and placed them into stack on the screen where you could arrange them with the click of a mouse. The looping part meant that the sounds would play over and over for as many repetitions as you liked, thus allowing for seamless music creation. And it came with a library of music clips to experiment with. It was an ideal program for someone like me who has an ear for music, but doesn't really play a musical instrument.


I mention all of this because the late 1990s was about the time that the multimedia computer craze swept through the world. Anybody who had a couple hundred dollars and a decent computer suddenly had the ability to create short films, animated cartoons, or even computer games. About the same time that Flash and Acid Pro came out, other inexpensive programs like Bryce (a program that let users create 3D landscapes) and Poser (used for 3D rendering and animation of human figures) appeared on the scene as well, opening up the previously out-of-reach world of 3D art to would-be digital artists.


Now let me ask you, what do you think a lot of folks did with all those simple, affordable programs? Did they create great works of art? Did they astound the world with their imaginative genius?


Well, maybe some folks did, but the rest of us created porn.


That's right, we suddenly got the capabilities of Industrial Light and Magic on our desktops and we make porn. A lot of porn.


I blame this on Poser. You see, Poser came complete with adult male and female figures. Nude adult male and female figures. You and I both know you can't just hand people a program that allows them to pose and manipulate naked 3D people and not expect something naughty to happen. I mean, come on! It was like having digital Barbie dolls to play with, only Ken came with genitalia. If you wanted him to, that is. Pose did have the option of letting you turn off his private bits and thus make the disappear (and please feel free to insert any obvious pun that you like right here).


There were other things you could do, too. In a classic case of sex driving technology, a lot of enterprising artists took the programs apart and figured out how to do things like resize and reshape 3D breasts and buttocks, apply lacy digital lingerie to these now enhanced virtual bodies, animate a variety of sexual positions, and even create sex toys in other 3D programs for additional pornographic fun. A few geniuses, disappointed with the original genitalia that came with Poser's 3D figures, made new and improved body parts that sold like mad. Yours truly bought a digital dick for her thirty-second birthday and spent many months experimenting with that little joy.


What became known as Poser porn offered endless deviant possibilities. Because the characters were digital, they could hold any pose in any environment. They could endure any extreme of BDSM. The artist had complete control over what he or she created. No longer did a person have to surf the web looking for just the right image to satisfy a visual need. You could make it, right there on your computer. An online society called Renderotica soon sprang up. Over the years it has become home to thousands upon thousands of dirty digital images.


I have certainly made some Poser porn in my time, and I've happily invested quite a bit of money into software and 3D figures to improve my efforts. The better quality images have a home on my website. As an artist, I strive to create images that don't look 3D even though they are created with 3D programs. I am getting better at it. But I still think the finest digital porn I ever made was in those early days when I first played around with Flash. Just some simple frame-by-frame animation with primitive characters and a cheesy looping soundtrack, but it certainly had its charms. Here, see for yourselves.


Stick Figure Porno 1



Stick Figure Porno 2


8 comments:

  1. A whole other world I never knew existed. You're very talented, Helen. I love the stuff on your website.

    Have fun!

    Jamie

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  2. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts!

    What a refreshingly different take on the Sex and Technology theme!

    Warmly,
    Lisabet

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  3. What a fun program. I've seen film loop porn, but this is the first stick fiture cartoon.

    Ray

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  4. Helen, these are so much fun. This is definitely an advancement in technology, no matter how silly or crazy it may seem. The Poser Art, used on many e-book and print covers, can be incredible.

    You're a very talented lady. Lovely post, and very naughty vids.

    Hugs

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  5. OMG!!! Those are so funny. I can't stop laughing.

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  6. Wow, really good! I figured there had ot be somehting like this out there. I'll have to get up early tommorrow to watch them. I tried watching the first and my son kept walking up behind me "What are you watching?"

    Timing is everything.

    Garce

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  8. Had to wait until I was on the desk top before I could play them. Definitely worth the wait *Grin*

    Kim Dare.

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