Saturday, July 7, 2012

Fear Sucks!

by "oceania"

As this topic's guest bogger I wondered what I would write about.
After all so many things SUCK!

Telemarketers SUCK. It seems the word NO! is not part of their vocab.

Help desk people with names like Biff or Julie and accents so thick you can't understand them -- that try to make you feel small because they have to repeat instructions, they SUCK.

Paychecks that get you through the first week and half of bills but not the rest of the month that really SUCK.

But those can be changed.

So I dug deeper and I scribbled notes on age, weight and gender discrimination. But those topics hit too close to home. My thinking wasn't rational, clear or concise. I obviously wasn't ready to tackle those topics in a blog post.

Then my phone rang. It was the part-time day job. They needed someone to work. It was my day off and I had things I needed to do, none of which I cared to elaborate on with the caller. But she asked so I rattled off my 3 page to-do list for her.

Her reply was I'll tell them I couldn't reach you and you tell them that you got the message late. She ended the conversation with - We never had this conversation, right?!

As the call ended I thought to myself, how awful to feel so fearful.

Fear Sucks!

.. Fear more than sucks…
It has been used as a control mechanism, a modifier and a motivator.
It breeds prejudice and narrows vision as it restricts.
It can become a life force.

The poet/ author Audre Lorde stated that the erotic is one of the deepest life forces. Yet many categorized eroticism as porn. And Porn is a very dirty word, note the sarcasm here, that causes fear in the general public. Yet it doesn't take a rocket scientist to find erotic stories in the Bible, (Song of Solomon), or in literature from Lysistrata to Emile Zola's Nana or even in contemporary works like the very acceptable new Fifty Shades of Grey. E. L. James’ first book in the trilogy has been called the fastest-selling paperback of all time. It is even surpassing the Harry Potter series.

Does this mean the public is becoming more aware / less fearful of the importance of having an erotic life? That would be nice, if not rather wishful thinking.

I know in my own life I have let fear dictate too much, from how I look, to what I say to what I tell people I do for a living I have put governors on. I am making changes. I am taking back my life in small bits and pieces.

My first step was repeating the mantra it will be ok when I take action to fix it.

That being ok part based on an action has helped me put panic in its place and allowed me to work through some fears.

So how has fear hurt you? Care to share?


posted by Jean Roberta.

(Note: "Oceania" is a legendary erotic writer, computer techie & recorder of audio stories. I should have asked for her bio. Look her up.)


  1. I find that fear is still and always an element in my life. My biggest fear, I'm not sure exactly why, is the fear of poverty even though I'm not especially poor at the moment.

    I'm also surprised at the popularity of Fifty Shades because I've tried reading it ("Holy Crap!" indeed) and just couldn't get behind it. But maybe the day will come when all this is acceptable.


  2. You're right, fear is so debilitating.ANd it does suck, big time.

  3. Oceania,

    You're right on the money here. So much of the evil in the world can be traced to fear. Fear of not having enough. Fear of losing control. Fear that the "other", the stranger with different colored skin or a different religion will harm you in some way.

    Possibly my favorite Bible quote is"
    "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." (I've even used this in an erotic story.) This rings so true for me. If you reach out to that "other", trying to see him as a human being just like you, the fear diminishes.

    Not that it's easy. And the ones in power feed the fears of the rest of us.

  4. I was on a great conference call and and listened to the fears and knew that even a very successful women on the call had fears, fears that they will be taken seriously.. will this "good fortune" continue... they shared how they coped. it was enlightening and freeing!