By Jade Melissande (Guest Blogger)
When I saw this week’s topic, I knew I had to write a guest post. The simple truth is, everything I write is autobiographical. Yes, the short stories I write and have published are called erotic “fiction” – and, strictly speaking, they are fiction – but at the core of every story is an actual, real-life event that happened to me. If you look for it (and at times you don’t have to look very hard) you can find the real-life version of almost every story I have written right there in my blog.
I am mostly a sex and kink blogger that also writes a bit of short erotica. My blog is the explicit, genuine and very real account of my life as the kinky partner of two men. Every time I write there I share the details of my sex and kink life, as well as the intricacies of multi-partner relationship dynamics: the good, the bad, the ugly…the hot, the sexy, and the sweet.
And then I use those episodes to write my short erotica.
The events really did happen. The sex that she is having, I have had.
But at the same time, I am not the “she” in the story. She has hopes and dreams and a life that is not mine; motivations that have nothing to do with my own; feelings and reactions and realities that are hers and hers alone.
I like that word, “realities.” About a fictional character. But that really is the way it feels for me, when I start to create this “her” that isn’t me. When I begin to separate her from me, to flesh out her story, to make her not “me.” This is both the challenge and the joy in being a writer that uses my own life story as source material – to find that separation between her and I, between our experiences, to find what makes her uniquely herself, and not me. To write her reality.
It is a joy because I love to build a character’s life, to imagine a life that isn’t my own. I love the fantasy and solving the puzzle of who she is and why she does these things she does. Who is she, why is she there, why-oh-why would she do this?? And it is a challenge because, since my own story is at the heart of this, I have to make sure she is unique, and that she isn’t me. Because as interesting as I find my own life, I know everyone else may not be as enamored of it, at least enough to read about me in every short story I write. So I have to make sure she has her own life and her own voice.
But this is why I write. To experience those joys and challenges. To find ways to explain and expound upon my own experiences, via these other women whose stories I tell.