Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Sisterhood

By Amber Skyze (Guest Blogger)


First I want to thank the Grip folks for allowing me to be here today.

Now on to the subject. I wish I could understand this, but I don’t. When I portray “other” women in my books they’re usually the heroine’s good friends. They are there for the heroine; to support her in a time of need. If the heroine needs advice about a guy or what to wear, her best friend is there. They talk about anything and everything.

You’d think after the experiences I had in high school I’d go in the direction of making the “other” women out to be bitches.

Growing up I was a painfully shy person. The last thing I wanted was to draw attention to myself. I had one best friend and our boyfriends were best friends. One of my traits – loyalty. When you have my friendship I’ll be as loyal as a Labrador retriever. Other girls called me a bitch, snob and other mean things. I ignored them and tried to let their words hurt me. It was my best friend who ended up causing me the most hurt.

One day when I was at her house and she was at the hospital, I picked up the phone to use it. Her boyfriend was on the phone talking to her. She was saying, “I want her out of the house now. I don’t trust her. I don’t want her there alone with you.”

To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I’d never do anything with her boyfriend, even if I didn’t have my own. It wasn’t in my blood to hurt someone in such a way. That day ended our friendship for almost twenty years and I was the one who reached out to repair it.

Even that experience didn’t jade me from portraying women in a positive light.

That’s not to say that I haven’t created women for the heroine to be jealous of, but most of them are mistaken identity – sister, sister-in-law, cousin or wife of best friend.

In the end the heroine learns it’s nothing to be worried about and they move on.

The bottom line for me is to create a sisterhood with my heroine and her friends. I don’t want to show women in a negative light.

Bio
 
From a very young age, Amber Skyze began making up stories–the only child syndrome. Telling tall tales to all her friends she never dreamed of putting words on paper. In fact if anyone asked her if she would write when she grew up, she’d have laughed.

It wasn’t until raising children and reading all those romances that she decided–hey, I can write these. HA! Easier said than done.  When not crafting hot, steamy tales, this New York transplant now resides in Rhode Island with her husband, four children (who force her to work a day job), and three dogs.

She currently writes for Ellora’s Cave, Loose Id and is self-published.

www.amberskyze.com

http://amberskyze.blogspot.com
http://www.amazon.com/Amber-Skyze/e/B004G35HT6/

8 comments:

  1. Hello, Amber,

    Welcome to the Grip!

    How awful to have to face that kind of betrayal! I'm glad that it has only strengthened your determination to be fair in creating your female characters.

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  2. I guess I always try to find the good in people. :)

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  3. Amber - welcome to the Grip. I'm glad you focus on the positve side of female relatioships. We need all teh good examples we can get!

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  4. I had the same problem with women in HS; the boys were much more accepting. I'm a loyal person too, and probably far too trusting.

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  5. Thanks for having me, Kathleen!

    Molly, I felt the same way. The guys were definitely more accepting. Sadly, things haven't changed much. My daughter is in high school and feels the guys are less drama.

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  6. Amber whatever may have shaped you has also made you an ideal and trustworthy friend.
    I feel bad for your high school friend. With her bad attitude, she's the one who has undoubtedly suffered many betrayals ever since.

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  7. Hi Amber! Welcome to OGG!

    That is painful about your friend, and I'm glad you were able to patch things up over time. That's a difficult age. I had a girlfriend stolen from me in school by a friend and didn;t forgive that either. Doesn;t make me think of her as a conniving bitch so much as a kid who was still finding her way.

    Garce

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