Friday, November 9, 2012

Enormous Success

Here is a day in my life! Hooray!

 
First, I have a period of intensive research.
 
Then comes time for my impeccable grooming routine. I usually start with styling my hair into the above creation of extreme and undeniable beauty. This is achieved by leaving a towel on my head for an extended period of time after showering. I call it the "Lost The Will To Live" method of beautification.
 
More research.
 
Usually by this time it's about five in the afternoon, so of course you can see how dedicated and involved my research process is - not to mention the strain of trying to take my hair unawares and wrestle it to the ground. I tend to think of my coiffure as a wild animal, so I don't think it's unreasonable to judge my efforts in the same way you would if I punched sharks for a living, or Ju Jitsued bears. Then, once I have done the shark punching and bear Ju Jitsuing, I make a valiant attempt at writing. Of course, by this time I am so exhausted and mentally drained from all the frantic researching and hair battles, that writing is reduced to an increasingly angry assault on my laptop, with my fists - as illustrated.
 
And no, I have zero clue why my fists look like pale sponges. Please don't email me to ask. I've just spent three hours painstakingly drawing these masterpieces in Microsoft Paint and now I'm too tired to make words, which is probably another stage I should have added to this day in my life:
 
"Time Spent Being An Idiot"
 
Which then leads me to the next portion of my day:
 
Sleeping and/or crying under the duvet.
I may be crying because the shark fought back after I punched it. We cannot know for sure.
 
 
 
More research. But as you can see, this is a completely different and far more involved type of investigation into important matters (such as the age old question: "how am I supposed to deal with Lee Pace being a vampire?"), that is totally justified even though it's now nine o'clock at night and I've only actually written a paragraph.
 

More crying and/or sleeping when I realise I've only written a paragraph.
 
 
 
And that is the end of my day. Personally, I judge it an enormous success.
 

10 comments:

  1. Hey, a whole paragraph! Good on you, chica. Color me jealous. Maybe I need to go punch a shark...or do some research to get the juices flowing...

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    1. The vaguely unsettling tongue was a day's work right there. Everything else was just bonus.

      Ps glad to hear that there is another who spends an inordinate time in bed

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  2. You should see *my* hair, Charlotte!

    Fantastic! And I never knew you had visual talents, though I should have guessed since you paint such delicious pictures with words.

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  3. Have you seen my hair? Has anyone? It's been missing for years now.

    This post was the perfect breakfast treat, CMVS—shared giggles with my wife over it. Yay!

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  4. Your day looks a lot like my day! (except mine also includes foiling the plans of twin boy-children and an overly large dog to conquer the world and bend it to their will)

    My hair has recently broken up with gravity. You'd think that would increase productivity, but mostly it just earns me odd looks from strangers.

    Sigh.

    :P

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  5. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about Lee Pace in all his incarnations. So I can identify with the big, vaguely unsettling pink tongue bit.

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  6. Wild, unmanageable hair seems perfect for a writer of wild sex scenes -- not to mention that time spent in bed (with or without company) would seem to go with the territory. So yes, your day looks like a success. Thanks for sharing it with us, Charlotte.

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  7. Jessi - LOL if punching a shark is the standard action for prompting a paragraph...what on earth do we have to do for a page? Or a chapter? I bet it's wrestling the giant devil from Legend, right?

    Jill - it just has to be done. Our tongues are tired, world, ok?

    Lisabet - nothing can be as bad as my hair. Nothing. I promise you. As for Paint skillz...you have SEEN that big tongue, right? And the sponge fists?

    Jeremy - yay! You know I love to make you giggle.

    Vanessa - I can well imagine that those extra problems could lead to gravity defying hair. It's just the next logical step.

    Catherine - I've been amazed at how many people sympathise with my love for him! Dunno why tho. He *is* utterly stunning, tall, brilliant and full of heartfelt, yearning expressions. In truth, its weirder that his fanbase isn't bigger.

    Jean - if only I really did get it through shenanigans!

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  8. Oh Charlotte, this was awesome. I am SO glad I thought of this topic-- I'm enjoying everyone's days so much. But this... oh my. You are a gifted comic.

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  9. Kristina - best. Compliment. Ever. Gifted comic! I don't believe it for a second, but still that was orsum to hear. *squozens you*

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