Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Going the Distance

by Kristina Wright

I'm not a quitter. I'm not someone who says, "No, I can't do that." I'm someone who believes if I put enough time and effort into something, I can accomplish anything. Or almost anything. Which is why I'm talking about running my first (and probably only) 5k sometime this year to celebrate my 46th birthday. I've never run in my life and am nowhere near being able to run a 5k right now (I just had my gallbladder out 5 days ago, so even walking is a bit too strenuous...), but I truly believe if I put my mind to it, I'll be able to accomplish it. If I want it badly enough and work hard enough.

The thing I can't factor into my desire to do something is time. Time is my enemy these days, as my to do list never seems to shorten (and I'm not a fan of busy work, so my to do list is a legitimate must-do list) and my days never seem to have enough time to let me accomplish everything I really, really want to do. This is not a call for pity-- I'm in awe of the life I have that is full to brimming with so many wonderful things that I actually have to say no to some of the good stuff. Everyone should be so lucky.

When I signed on to be a writer at Oh Get a Grip! I was a few months from having my second baby and my first baby was about eighteen months old. I was knee-deep (make that belly-deep) in deadlines and commitments and yet, when Lisabet asked if I'd like to join the incredible crew at the Grip, I didn't even hesitate. I said yes, of course, I was honored. And I was-- and still am-- honored to have been part of this group for about the past 22 months. As I told Lisabet when I signed on, I wasn't sure how it would go, whether I'd be able to keep up with weekly posts. But Lisabet was gracious in her acceptance of my possible limitations and so I became a Grip regular. It's been a fun ride, and I've written some stuff I'm truly proud of, but now it's time to say goodbye. For now, at least.

Basically, I've run out of time in my life to do all the things I want to do and so some things have suffered. The Grip has been one of them. Despite my best intentions, I started missing my deadlines, posting late or not at all, or finding I didn't have much to say on a particular topic (even ones I had chosen). I hate that I have to say that I failed, but I kind of did. Real life smacked me in the face and told me I had to back off of some commitments. Other things have been easy to cut from my to do list-- but it's hard to say goodbye to some things, and the Grip is one of them.

The writers here... I've been in awe. They blow me away with their insights and experiences, their memories and fantasies. There have been many times I've gone to tackle the topic of the week and read the previous posts and been floored, feeling as if I have nothing to contribute. They're good, this ragtag bunch of literary magicians. Really good. And it's been a pleasure to get to know them, to feel as if I've connected with them and made some new friends, to be challenged to push past my own limits and write more honestly. Whatever I've brought to the Grip (and I'll be honest, it doesn't seem like much), I'm walking away with so much more.

I'll return to the other side of things now-- reader instead of writer-- and be happy to do so. There are some new (to me) names being added to the roster at the Grip and I look forward to reading their words. Meanwhile, I'll be over here in my little corner of the world, working on my deadlines, returning to my own long-neglected blog (kristinawright.com) and, who knows, maybe even running a 5k. And if I'm ever invited to stop by and guest post at the Grip, I'll say yes, of course, I'd be honored.

6 comments:

  1. Time is definitely at more of a premium the older we get. Everything takes longer to do, for one thing, LOL. But I'm glad our paths have crossed here as I'm sure they will in this little erotica world we've carved for ourselves.

    Be well-
    Daddy X

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  2. Kristina, dear,

    It has been an honor and pleasure to get to know you here at the Grip. You've been so open in sharing your heart that I feel as though I've known you for decades, rather than the less than two years we've been together here in these pages.

    I started to say that I wish you success in your future endeavors, including the 5K run (though I think you're crazy!) but then I realized that you WILL succeed, so you don't even need my wishes.

    And stepping down from the Grip is definitely not anything like a failure. You've made a huge contribution and we're definitely going to miss you.

    Hugs,
    Lisabet

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  3. Aww, Kristina.

    I'm sure we've all been impressed at how much you've been able to contribute here while raising 2 young children & keeping up a writing career (aside from posting here). I'll never forget your post on "Anticipation" when you were about to give birth.

    Please keep us posted on the 5K run. (Hint: we like your photos.)

    - Jean

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  4. After the death of my son at the age of 12, time is more valuable to me. I try not to take each day for granted. You never know what will happen next. Live each day to the fullest. You have to do what is the most important thing for you and your family. All the other stuff really doesn't matter.

    lauratroxelatyahoodotcom

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  5. Kristina - I have some understanding of how you feel. We're moving on, not giving up. At least, that's what I tell myself.

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