Monday, December 19, 2016

Place of Honor (#submission #commitment #devotion)


By Lisabet Sarai

Finally, I’m where I belong.

I’m on my knees, at your feet, waiting for you to decide what happens next. Will you wrap my already prominent nipples in rubber bands, to see how much plumper they could be? Will you unfasten your belt so you can paint new stripes on my ass? Will you fuck me? Will you kiss me?

Whatever you choose, I’m here, here where I know you want me. Where I want to be, more than anywhere else in the universe.

I kneel for you, spread for you, writhe for youand only you. After all these years, I’m still full of wonder at the connection that binds us. You don’t need to tell me how grateful you are for my surrender, though sometimes you do. We both know the truth, and glory in it.

I honor you by bending to your will. You honor me by accepting the gift I offer.

Everyone else would be horrified to see me in this place of apparent abasementhorrified and astonished. I’m not the type to take orders. Friends call me assertive and proactive. Others less favorably inclined label me aggressive and bossy. A less likely slave would be hard to imagine. I’m competent, articulate, a natural leader, a feminist. I’m opinionated and stubborn, according to some people. But submissive? No one would believe it.

If they saw me here, in this place, they’d label it as abuse, or worse. The welts on my buttthe ropes cinching my wrists—the scar on my shoulder where you carved your initials—they’d call this insanity, pure and simple.

How little they understand. It is pure, this devotion, or tries to be. I dream of perfecting the alignment of my will with yours. You dream, I think, of possessing me ever more completely, of pushing me harder, of testing the depth of my commitment and discovering it is bottomless.

This place gives me the courage to step out onto that perilous wire, when you invite me. On my knees at your feet, I am brave enough to attempt anything your devious imagination may suggest. I’m frightened—you’d hardly enjoy it, if I were not—but in this place, trust overcomes fear.

On my knees, at your feet, I don’t worry about what anyone else might think. I worry only about pleasing you. This place strips away all the silly concerns of daily life, reminding me of what really matters. My mind quiets even as my body hums with the heat you kindle. I am calm, patient, at peace as I wait for your next command.

This place gives me joy.



10 comments:

  1. Whooh! Strong stuff, Lisabet. You've wrapped the submissive role up in a neat little package.

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    1. Only my view, of course. Everyone is different.

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  2. Hi Lisabet!

    The soul of the submissive is so hard for us who are different to understand. Many would simply not believe it. but I think its our nature to want what is different, or even alien to our nature. There are aggressive women who want to let go, alpha males who pay dominatrices to spank and punish them. I think the first time it must be hard. But afterwards it must be addictive, like an alien state of mind you want to enter into again and again to transcend yourself. I always wonder that such things are possible, and then what would it be like.

    Garce

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    1. Funny, but the first time for me was easy. It felt natural, a revelation of who I was. On the other hand, I believe this had a lot to do with my partner. I have very little desire to submit to just any old dominant.

      Actually, more of my fantasies and erotic dreams have involved female dominants that males. Never had even a taste of that in real life.

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    2. I love being topped by women, especially because for me it removes some of the worries about feminism/gender roles that come up in what you wrote above. (I know your character doesn't care, but I find that I often do).

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    3. I am often puzzled as to how I managed to grow up *without* getting too hung up gender roles. Guess I should just be grateful.

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  3. I can almost understand the appeal of submitting to someone so awesome as to deserve submission, but I can't quite imagine what someone that awesome would be like. Almost, but not quite. Perhaps it's like the way a deity can't be quite envisioned in the flesh, although I guess many people think they can.

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    1. Awesome but very flawed. Like all of us.

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  4. This is a great, atmospheric piece, like your other descriptions of "sub space," Lisabet. I think Sacchi put her finger on why this space seems dangerous and/or hard to achieve for many: because an actual Dominant is a flawed human being who can cause harm, or at least seem petty or contradictory enough to break the spell.

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    1. Of course you're right, Jean. That's why this place in fact exists only in fantasy. In "reality", this place disappeared from the realm of possibility decades ago.

      But I revisit it for inspiration.

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