Nostalgia

Spencer Dryden

The word brings up jumble of thoughts about movies, life, society, heroes and villains. I'm a subscriber to XM satellite radio. They have a channel dedicated to the 60's. Great stuff.  Memories come floating in with each old song. Unless you were there or study music, it's hard to appreciate how much the Beatles changed pop music, and not necessarily for the better.

Speaking of awakening memories of the '60's, I went to an old time burger joint recently and had a glass of liquid memory, otherwise known as a malted milk. To someone my age, malted milk is the flavor of youth-drive inns, hot cars, hot girls. McDonald's eliminated the flavor of malted milk from the pallet of Americans.

All that said, I've never had a period in life that I wanted to live over again—except for few years in the 80's—but I messed those up as well, and besides, a gentleman never tells.

When I tell people I was in college in the late 1960's they say what a great time that must have been. It wasn't for me. First of all, there were none of the reputed hippy-chicks ready to make love at the drop of a roach. At least I never found them, and believe me, I looked. More importantly, there was this ugly situation in Vietnam, waged by old men looking to fight Hitler again and fought by young men trying to stay alive. The ruling class expected me to go there and die for the worst foreign policy decision our country ever made. A theory, the Domino Theory, the fucking Domino Theory, that Vietnam was Armageddon, the place where freedom loving people would put a stop to the spread of global communism. I managed to avoid the draft by going to college and by luck of birth. Guys a little older than me bore the brunt of that misadventure. So no nothing worth a re-do there.

The 70's. A terrible marriage and a couple of jobs I hated, and hated myself for having to do them. Back to school to earn an MBA which proved to be equally as useless as my degree in Psychology. The economy was in the shitter then. Remember? We hemorrhaged whole industries to the Japanese tsunami that obliterated lives and communities and lots of living wage jobs. Who'd ever want to go back to that? Not me. Not even for disco.

Ah the 80's. Single again. Still wouldn't want to relive those years unless I could avoid the stupid stuff.

The river flows on.

I've had the love of my life with me for 25 years now. Our story isn't over so there's nothing to be nostalgic about, we're still living it.

What's the uniting factor across the decades for me? Sex. Mostly my lack of it during my most virile years, but it's a more than the sex I didn't get, it's female allure that has always had me. I have been captivated by female allure since I felt that first stirring in my pants at the sight of a naked woman over fifty years ago.

So now I'm in my 60's, approaching the supposed golden years. A quick check of my bank account says otherwise. I'm not fearful of aging but what I'm beginning to miss is my sex drive, more specifically the fascination with the female form and spirit. Watching the boat sail away should be a  relief. Sex has been the source of so much misery in my life. It's not that I need the performance enhancing blue pill and I'm not about to get sucked into that low -T thing. Decline is a natural part of aging. I accept that.  It's just that some of the color has gone from life. A smile from a pretty girl, a shapely ass in a pair of jeans, a set of breasts trying to burst their containment vessel—all could brighten up a day and launch me into fantasy without an inappropriate word exchanged. It was like walking in a beautiful flower garden. Now it's fall and the flowers have lost their bloom. That's what I'm nostalgic for-female allure.

Let me be quick to say that vast amounts of brain space have been freed by this transition. There's room now for lovely thoughts and bombastic ideas. I can form more words now and sometimes even get them on paper. I love the writer's life and hope to be able to pass the time well in this new found adventure. I just hope that the color doesn't fade completely.

Does Spirituality Mix with Sexuality, or Do They Clash?

By Spencer Dryden

Executive summary: They should but they don't

Analysis and discussion:

What a great topic for my first blog. It goes right to the heart of my TOE (Theory of Everything).

As a writer, I have incorporated the subject into one of my short stories (The Gueschtunkina Ray Gun) and blogged about a related topic on the ERWA Blog (Is There a Man in the House?). My answer to the question goes all the way back to the dawn of mankind.

I believe sex is what brought us down from the trees. It is the most powerful force at work in shaping civilization and certainly the most powerful force acting on our psyches. Something happened when we were only two feet tall that caused our kind to go from near extinction to exploding over the planet like an invasive species. In my TOE, two things happened in close proximity among females: a switch from seasonal to monthly estrus and the anterior migration of the vagina. Not exactly the stuff of erotic romance but stay with me.

The switch to monthly estrus meant that females were available for mating on a year round basis. Remember how it used to be. Females came into heat emitting pheromones that drove the guys to frenzy trying to get some nookie. We pounded on each other trying to be first in line, then the alpha males pounded nuggies on our heads and took all the females.  The pheromones died down and everything went back to normal. That system worked successfully by Darwinian standards and continues to work among our cousin apes.  Shifting to monthly estrus broke the cycle of the dominant alpha male getting all the sex, now males were crazy for it all year long. Some of us other dudes had a chance if we brought stuff to women.

The second change was more subtle. With the anterior migration of the vagina, males and females could face each other during copulation. Sexual cues became visual rather than chemical. We guys saw pretty faces everywhere. Females grew larger breasts. Males became mesmerized by the holy triangle of breasts down to the pubic mound. The image  and the wanton desire it triggers is never far from the male mind.

In my case I have been enchanted by female allure since the first time I felt the stirring in my pants at the sight of a naked woman. Female allure has colored my life and often led to horrible decisions. There is simply not enough blood to serve the big head and the little head. The color is fading now, which has allowed me enough cranial circulation that I try to write stories about human sexuality and  make stupid postulations.

Why did this happen? Consciously or unconsciously females did this to make their lives easier. Guys had to bring them stuff all year long, especially food, protein dense food for our growing brains. Guys had to keep bringing more and better stuff to get laid. The disaster we call civilization ensued.

Things went wrong with one part of the plan though. Females kept mating with big harry brutes who eventually enslaved them in order to keep control of sex. They shoulda mated more with us sensitive caring guys who would respect them in the morning and treat them like equals. Just sayn'.

I think one day science will bear out my theory. But the way I see it, who ever controls fertility, controls destiny. The story of civilization is a story inexorably mixed with the control of women and fertility and therefore sex. If order is to be maintained in the kingdom, then a rational was necessary to imprint compliance on the followers. So the rulers created god in their image and likeness. A god that was hostile to sexual inclinations, otherwise women would go around having babies by whom ever they chose. We certainly can't have that or how to you keep a kingdom together?

Sound harsh? Look at that part of the world where women are tortured, raped and murdered for the crime of wanting an education. The misogyny is so deeply ingrained in the culture that women are clothed from head to toe to keep from tempting men. Our weakness is foisted on them.

My silly little theory may seem ridiculous but please offer me another explanation for  the utter inhumanity to women. which began when we first started living in large groups and continues to this day.