Tuesday, February 10, 2009

And the other side...

I'm late and I apologize and the reason why brings an entirely new twist on what Valentines Day means to me this year. You see, there's a couple in our family who are having difficulties right now. A couple who have been together for nearly twenty years have decided to go their separate ways. Possibly too much info here, but it made me realize just how lucky I am and how things might have been different for my husband and I.

Love, that mysterious, wonderful, amazing emotion is so fragile and so much work that to some it can be impossible to maintain or even find. Long term, it's even harder. For those of you who have been coupled for more than 25 years, or even longer, you know what I mean. You can love your partner to death, but find it impossible to live with them. So very sad.

Yet, for those of us who have it right, it's the most amazing thing in the world. To know you've found the right one, and that nothing could change that, it's pretty special. I look at my man, and I see him as he was at seventeen, and I know he'll always be that sexy young man for me. He may not be as slim now, he may not have the long dark hair, but he's still my sexy stud. He's my Valentine in every possible way. How special is that.

So, I'm going to do something this Valentine's Day that I have never done on this day before. I'm going to pamper the heck out of him. To us, it's usually just another day. We've always had our own ways of telling each other how special we find each other, on any day we like. But, this year, I'm going to wake him with breakfast in bed, and I'll be dessert. Or perhaps he will. I haven't got the details worked out yet. LOL The entire day, I'm going to spend showing him how much he means to me, how very special our love is.

I'd love to know if anyone has special plans for their lover this coming February 14th. Do you have flowers planned, a dinner out, something sexy and satin, or something else?


  1. Mmmm...dessert.

    Wonderful post, Jude. It's easy to take your significant other for granted in the day in, day out struggles of life. Sometimes it takes a silly holiday like Valentine's Day (I just called it silly for you, you know I love it...*G*) to remind us to show our partner how we feel.


  2. Hey Jude

    I agree with everything you say, although my experience is along different lines. I think I know what I'm going to post here tommorrow.

    Anyway - you have that greatest gift. God speed you both.


  3. Sounds as though you have a lovely Valentine's Day -- and night -- mapped out, Jude.

    Nothing special planned here for Saturday. Probably just a quiet evening curled up with one of your books. *G* Sometimes my ex will send me an e-greeting letting me know he remembers our life together fondly. We're still friends, so it's a nice thought.


  4. I work the morning to afternoon shift, but will be going out to supper with my hubby. My parents will watch the kiddo. Other than that, not sure. :)

  5. DH and I have been married forever. We've been through the fire a couple of times, but then what couple hasn't? Fortunately, nothing has been so bad we couldn't work it out. This Saturday, I'm going to get a little pampering--a pedicure and a manicure and dh is buying me my favorite Greek food for lunch.

    Happy St. Valentine's everyone.


  6. This year I'm that separated couple - married 22 years - hit a twist in the road we can't seem to get beyond. I read this recently and I want to pass it on to all of you who every day are getting it right - kiss your honey for at least 20 seconds a day. It's so simple and fun. I will always believe in love no matter what happens to my marriage. My heart will always remain open...

  7. Lovely sentiment, Jude.

    Valentines, nothing planned for myself.

    Might find the time to let a few of my characters have some fun instead.

  8. That was a wonderful post, and food for thought...
    I am working shift work as a nurse when I am not writing, and have classes starting soon, so squeezing in a date etc is hard. We are going out for Valentine's day regardless, before I go in for my night shift...
    Had plenty of good Valentine's days as a single woman too. I think you should always do something extra special for your partner if you can, OR for yourself on this day!
    Hope everyone has a good one!

  9. What a great plan you have! We're going to try for a romantic day with a 5 year old in tow as apparently our sitters all have V-Day plans too!

    We're going to try and put her down to bed early, but she seems to sense "those times" and the results can be a bit hilarious. (Later, as it's rarely funny at the time!)

  10. We'll be at a huge local fetish event. I could be all coy and say it's because Phaze has a booth there, which is true...but not really why we're going.

    An unusual way to spend V-Day, but it works for us.

  11. Forty-one years and counting. Special? Not sure. Likely, we'll having something to eat at a restaurant and come back home for play time... the usual. Perhaps that's the secret--because play time IS the usual.

    As for LISA? Heh. We used to work around FOUR kids... always a fun propostion.

    Happy Valentines Day.

  12. we plan on staying home and making a really nice dinner with the kids. My husband and son are responsible for the main dish, my husband is a great cook. My daughter and I are in charge of dessert

  13. We're going to drive to Naples to visit with our son, daughter-in-law and 1 year old grandson, who are visiting d-i-l's mother. Complicated? We can almost fly to Colorado where they normally live in the time it takes to drive downstate. We'll get a motel room and see where it takes us. It's been 40 years, and we've had every kind of celebration, from the 'why bother?' to the full-blown day of romance.

  14. Thank you all for such insightful comments. Wow, there's sure a lot of years here to think about, 40 is amazing. Congratulations Terry and partner! We're close, but you beat us by three years.

    Garce, I look forward to your blog day. I bet it will be extremely thought provoking. You're that kind of man. A good thing for sure.

    Donna, I can think of worse ways to spend an evening. I believe we've done very similar things over the years. Hubby and I are both avid readers when we have time.

    For those of you with children, I often think hog tying is a lovely option. *G* Seriously, it's difficult, but hopefully you'll find a little time together and make it special.

    Thank you all. You've all made an insane day much more pleasant.


  15. Our anniversary this year 40th also. We Rock!! We grew up together same schools, church etc. Husband went up the street today I think to make rez at the fawncy Springville Inn for dinner. He will be away for the weekend. I will make a neat card with my tons of rubber stamps and pamper him.

  16. Oh, that sounds like fun, dabird. 40 years is a long time. Hey, I don't know about you guys, but there are times when it feels like forever and then there are times when I feel as if we've only been together for weeks. I want it to go on forever. Silly, I know.

    Congratulations and I hope hubby enjoys.


  17. With some of you coupled for 40 years, my 26 doesn't seem like much. But it certainly amazes me!

    People have asked me what our "secret" is. It's simple. You just have to remember how important the relationship is. When conflicts crop up as they always do, ask yourself, "Okay, is this issue more critical than our love?"

    Usually the answer will be no. There are times when it goes the other way - I'm not at all an advocate for staying together no matter what. So far though, so good!


  18. Hi Lisabet,

    Hubby and I've talked about why and how we've made it work for 37 years. Our response, both of us, has been, we're too stubborn to admit we've made a mistake. LOL Oh, and he's said, he refuses to leave so I can have fun with my new fella.

    26 years is amazing. If it's working and you're both content, happy, then the rest will follow.

    When we argue, I often ask myself, will this matter in five years. If the answer is no, then it's obviously not important. It's surprising how much really isn't important.

    Thanks so much for leaving a comment.


  19. What a wonderful blog, Jude. Enjoy your special day and your special man.


  20. Um, special plans? I plan to leave my husband at home with the kids all weekend while I take off for a convention and pimp my new book. Is that special enough? Maybe?

    **Sigh.** I would stay home and pamper the Hubster, but work calls, so I'll have to do something nice when I get back. Maybe pamper him for President's Day. We can even role play for that. He can be the Washington Monument and I'll be the tourist who climbs every step of him to get to the pinnacle. How's that for celebrating President's Day?


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