by Kathleen Bradean
So this is the assignment:
1. Explain a sexual fantasy about an experience in the real world you would jump on in an instant if it were offered to you, no questions asked. Something you would have no reservations about actually doing.
2. Explain an experience you would like to have but only under certain conditions, otherwise not. Under those conditions you'd definitely give yourself to it, otherwise not.
3. Explain a fantasy you'd love to do in your imagination, something that excites you but you'd never in a million years do it in the real world, because its (sic)impossible to perform or too squicky to endure. But something that excites you to imagine.
I don't like cherry pie. The goo around the cherries is slick and flavorless. But the worst part is when a forkful gets near my nose and I smell the Play-Doh. Oh, it isn't real Play-Doh, but the almond flavoring most cooks add to their cherry pie reminds me of the scent of Play-Doh, and it churns my stomach.
See, that I can explain. Explaining why certain things turn me on is much more difficult. Every symbol from rope to leather has an association in my mind, like the smell of Play-Doh, and it's the associations in the infinite web of my memory that make some things arouse me while others don't. Some of those associations I'm aware of, but others have roots so deep in my subconscious that I don't think I'd ever be able to trace their invisible threads through my libido.
Explore would have been a better word. 'Explore your sexual fantasies' is a decent writer's prompt. 'Explain' is like being dragged into the principal's office and being told to explain yourself. And at a moment of harsh, unwanted exposure like that, the mind tends to go blank.
So the best answers I can give are
1) If I had no reservations, I've done it.
2) Everything is conditional.
3) Your blood would run cold if I told you. Then I'd offer you a slice of cherry pie. Just try to eat it without thinking of Play-Doh.
You see - some things are best left unexplained.