Monday, November 20, 2017

What would Sigmund say? #spanking #psychoanalysis #flashfiction

Sigmund Freud
By Lisabet Sarai

What would Sigmund say if he could see you now, Nathan—stretched across my lap with a bare bum and a hard-on?”

Ow! Hilda...”

Dr. Schultz, you mean.”

Right, right...Damn! That hurts!”

Stop squirming and answer my question.”

Um—probably something Oedipal—ouch!—something about wanting to crawl back into my mother’s womb...”

I’m twenty years your junior. Though you certainly do like to suck on my tits.”

Gorgeous—ow!—gorgeous tits, Dr. Schultz. Take your blouse off and I’ll play with them while you spank me.”

My diagnosis? I’d say you had an overactive Id, Nathan. Only stern punishment can keep your ravenous lusts in check.”

And you, Hilda, with your crops, floggers and dildos, have penis envy—OW! Your fingernails are like knives.”

I’ll carve my initials into your ass, my infantile little analyst. You won’t be able to sit for a week.”

Oh no, don’t... Marilyn will see the marks!”

Doesn’t your conscience bother you? Deceiving your unsuspecting wife?”

Ow! Yes! No! Not really...Oh, Hilda, Dr. Schultz, please. May I come?”

Naughty, naughty boy. You’re a mess of unconscious urges and repressed fantasies.”

Argh! God, I can’t stand anymore...”

It’s fortunate you have me to play the role of your SuperEgo.”


  1. Hah!

    Possible blurb: "For the sophisticated reader who still likes to have fun."

    1. My dad was a Freudian-oriented psychologist. I grew up with this stuff!

    2. My dad (a carpenter) studied German so he could read Freud in the original. He said that reading the translated versions made you lose "all of the humor." Since old Siggy wasn't known for his comedy, I thought Dad was nuts. But he quoted Freud to me many times, to explain why I was so fucked up about men.

      Wanting to have sex before marriage? Penis envy.
      Wanting to have sex with random guys? Penis envy.
      Wanting to have sex with older men? Strong feelings for my dad, (yeah, right) and wanted to be disciplined.
      Wanting to keep on having sex with lots of men? Penis envy.

      When I tried to explain to him that men, who feel inadequate since they can't create life, (which is why they excel at ending life, hence, war), instead have "womb envy"; and that if I was a man, I'd certainly have "clitoris envy," since it's the only organ created JUST to give orgasms, he threatened to throw me out of his house and cut me off of any money, since I was obviously a whore and a slut, and lots of other swear words for "loose" women that he learned while in the British army, but which don't have the same power in the US. Needless to say, we had a very troubled relationship while I was a teenager and in my twenties. Funny how I was the only one there when he took his last breath. Guess I wasn't so bad after all, eh, Dad?

      So I really despise old Siggy. Freud can kiss my ass!

    3. I never had much sympathy for Sigmund, but he's always good for stirring up a discussion! (Love your comments, Fiona!)

  2. I wonder whether other animals besides humans have learned that feeling guilty can be fun. Dogs can certainly look aware of their own guilt. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    1. You think feeling guilty is fun?

    2. Not for me, but I've known people who seem to think being made to feel guilty adds to the fun of scenes like the spanking one you describe.


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