Is Thin Sexy?

By: Selena Illyria

Too thin is just unhealthy and not sexy at all. There is so much outer pressure to be this impossible figure that may be right for some but not for all. Women and men come in all shapes and sizes, heights and weights. We can’t all be the same, then we’d be lemmings. And that would be bad. I like diversity and difference, it makes life interesting.

As a woman it’s hard not to feel some of that pressure to be thin. I don’t want to be a size zero and I doubt I could. I love to eat. So that’s a nooo, on being a size zero. I just want to be healthy. And that’s what’s important, being healthy. Turning into a toothpick is not.

Despite the numerous covers that profess to women the ten ways lose weight there’s always one article that says, “Be proud of your curves,” or “Be comfortable in your own skin,” how can we be encouraged to lose weight and then you turn around and tell us to be comfortable in our own skin, you called us fat! Not directly, but just enough to makes us take a second look at the delicious dark chocolate candy bar or regret that chocolate chip muffin.

How can we be ourselves if we’re being told ourselves isn’t sexy or fantastic or us? Also, there’s that whole if you’re not thin you can’t get the guy. Says who? Oh right, movies and magazines and yes, even romance novels. Well, that’s changing right? It may not be a full on revolution but things are changing and will continue to change. Thin is out being real is in.

At least that’s what I’d like to be believe. In a world of tummy tucks, a pinch here and snip there, what’s real and genuine is what’s important. Be who you are, because at the end of the day, that’s all you’re left with and that’s what matters.

So is thin sexy? No, not if you live your life trying to become that toothpick on the catwalk in clothing that’s been designed more for a hanger than a person. So eat that candy bar, take a bite of that muffin and be happy in who you are. After all, there are no stunt doubles in life.

Here are a few suggestions on stories with real women who aren’t toothpicks (Warning the subject matter of these books may not be to some readers liking, all books are erotic of nature):

The Big, Blooming and Wild Series from Changeling Press

Club Shadowlands by Cherise Sinclair

Splitting Hares by Camille Anthony

The Bound Series by Dawn Montgomery

The Yeti Series by Celia Kyle

Over the Wall by Theolyn Boese

Redesigning Adele by Talya Basco

Wicked Intentions by Tuesday Morrigan

Big Girls don’t Die by Crystal Jordan

Polly’s Perilous Pleasures by Daisy Dexter Dobbs

The Calendar Girls series by Madison Hayes

Fetish by Sherri L. King

Full Bodied Charmer by Marilyn Lee

Ordinary Charm by Anya Bast

These are just a few authors, there are so many more.

Some real women who are considered sexy:

Nigella Lawson

Sara Ramirez

America Ferrerra

Mo’Nique

Tocarra Jones

Jill Scott

----

And now for a little about our guest blogger, Selena Illyria.

I/R Author, Selena Illyria was born with need to write and an over active imagination. She loves to write stories that push her imagination. When she’s not writing, she loves to read many different genres of books, watch some of her favorite movies (too many to be named) and televisions shows. She also, loves to listen to some of her favorite musical artists. All of these things help inspire her to write. She does believe in the quote above. She does believe that part of writing does bare a part of the soul.

For a taste of her work:

With His Mind

by Selena Illyria

publisher: Changeling Press
cover art by Bryan Keller
ISBN: 978-1-60521-057-5
Genre(s): Futuristic, Paranormal, Sci-Fi
Theme(s): Interracial
Series: Family Heirlooms
Length: Novella

To Buy

Blurb:

Stacia Allen loves her job and has no desire to lose it. But she’s been “friends with benefits” with Jason Montano for months… and he’s her boss. And now he says he wants to “talk” about their arrangement.

Jason has a confession to make. He’s in love with Stacia… and he’s a telepath. To even the playing field, he plans to give her a family heirloom that will let her read his mind in return and also see images he projects. Oh, the sexy possibilities!

To learn more about Selena:

Website: www.selenaillyria.com
Pink Chair Diaries: www.pinkchairdiaries.com
Books: www.selenaillyria.com/books

Does size matter?

By Kim Dare.

Every week I help out in a local slimming group - No, not Weight Watchers, lol. A different one. You’re actually allowed to eat with us ;)

So, every week I see about 250 women, and a few men, who want to lose weight.

Some want to lose weight for health reasons. Some want to lose weight because they want to fit into a certain wedding dress or a certain bikini. There are a fair number who I’m pretty sure come because it’s a nice place to spend an hour or so catching up with their friends and talking about new recipes. And yes, I think some women may come to lose weight because they want to look and feel sexier.

I’ve been thinking about this topic since it was first scheduled in our calendar. And I found myself wondering which of the women who are trying to lose weight with us I would consider to be sexy.

They are all different shapes and ages and sizes, but the conclusion I came to is that sexiness has nothing to do with any of that. It’s all about attitude – to life in general and to their weight as well.

Take two women who come to group wanting to lose X pounds. Let’s assume they want to do that because they want to feel sexier.

One woman comes to group every week. Most weeks she loses. Other weeks she has a birthday party or some other special occasion – she goes out and enjoys herself. She puts on. But she gets back on the plan and keeps going. She loses those X pounds.

She fits back into the dress she wore last summer. She feels a bit more confident about herself as a result. Maybe she finds she has a bit more energy. She puts herself back in a healthy weight range and feels proud of herself. Her curves are still there.

She feels sexier and that makes her sexier.

The other woman also comes to group every week. She doesn’t think she’s losing it fast enough. She wants to lose every week. She cuts down what she eats to the point where she makes herself miserable. She won’t go out and enjoy herself. She stresses about her body and judges each little flaw until she doesn’t see anything positive at all.

Even though she achieves the same results as the other lady we were just talking about – she doesn’t feel good about herself. She doesn’t feel more confident. She doesn’t feel sexier and no matter what she looks like – that makes it almost impossible for her to be sexy.

The woman’s weight or size or dress size isn’t important. I’d go so far as to say it isn’t really relevant. Their attitude to their weight – that’s a much bigger factor.

The slimming organisation we belong to has a minimum weight you can be for your height – we won’t help you go below that for health reasons. But when you decide what weight you want to be, there is no maximum weight at which you can set your target.

If you want to go by a BMI chart, that’s fine. If you’re back in your black jeans and happy, that’s fine too.

I think the secret to being a weight / size / whatever that makes you feel sexy is to be a weight / size whatever that makes you feel good about yourself.

As for me? Well, I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to look like one of the women in the magazines or on the catwalk – even though I’m of the generation that’s supposed to be obsessed with it.

A few years ago, when I was deciding what weight I should try to achieve and maintain, I just looked at one of those height to weight charts and picked somewhere around the middle of the healthy weight range.

I’m currently 5 foot 2 inches, and 8 stone 13 pounds (125 pounds if you’re not in the UK). Which is apparently in the middle of healthy.

I go in and out in pretty much all the places I’m supposed to go in and out. There are a few stretch marks here and there and a bit of cellulite – but nothing that’s going to ruin my life.

I eat healthy-ish. If I put on a bit, I eat healthier. If I lose a bit then maybe I add in a few more treats.

But when it comes down to it, my weight has far less impact on my self esteem, sexiness level or anything else than whether or not I’m having a good hair day. High heels make me feel sexier. So does nice perfume and nice underwear. A little bit of leather never did anyone’s self esteem any harm either.

Size? In this case I have to say it really doesn’t matter.