Saturday, April 4, 2009

Is Thin Sexy?

By: Selena Illyria

Too thin is just unhealthy and not sexy at all. There is so much outer pressure to be this impossible figure that may be right for some but not for all. Women and men come in all shapes and sizes, heights and weights. We can’t all be the same, then we’d be lemmings. And that would be bad. I like diversity and difference, it makes life interesting.

As a woman it’s hard not to feel some of that pressure to be thin. I don’t want to be a size zero and I doubt I could. I love to eat. So that’s a nooo, on being a size zero. I just want to be healthy. And that’s what’s important, being healthy. Turning into a toothpick is not.

Despite the numerous covers that profess to women the ten ways lose weight there’s always one article that says, “Be proud of your curves,” or “Be comfortable in your own skin,” how can we be encouraged to lose weight and then you turn around and tell us to be comfortable in our own skin, you called us fat! Not directly, but just enough to makes us take a second look at the delicious dark chocolate candy bar or regret that chocolate chip muffin.

How can we be ourselves if we’re being told ourselves isn’t sexy or fantastic or us? Also, there’s that whole if you’re not thin you can’t get the guy. Says who? Oh right, movies and magazines and yes, even romance novels. Well, that’s changing right? It may not be a full on revolution but things are changing and will continue to change. Thin is out being real is in.

At least that’s what I’d like to be believe. In a world of tummy tucks, a pinch here and snip there, what’s real and genuine is what’s important. Be who you are, because at the end of the day, that’s all you’re left with and that’s what matters.

So is thin sexy? No, not if you live your life trying to become that toothpick on the catwalk in clothing that’s been designed more for a hanger than a person. So eat that candy bar, take a bite of that muffin and be happy in who you are. After all, there are no stunt doubles in life.

Here are a few suggestions on stories with real women who aren’t toothpicks (Warning the subject matter of these books may not be to some readers liking, all books are erotic of nature):

The Big, Blooming and Wild Series from Changeling Press

Club Shadowlands by Cherise Sinclair

Splitting Hares by Camille Anthony

The Bound Series by Dawn Montgomery

The Yeti Series by Celia Kyle

Over the Wall by Theolyn Boese

Redesigning Adele by Talya Basco

Wicked Intentions by Tuesday Morrigan

Big Girls don’t Die by Crystal Jordan

Polly’s Perilous Pleasures by Daisy Dexter Dobbs

The Calendar Girls series by Madison Hayes

Fetish by Sherri L. King

Full Bodied Charmer by Marilyn Lee

Ordinary Charm by Anya Bast

These are just a few authors, there are so many more.

Some real women who are considered sexy:

Nigella Lawson

Sara Ramirez

America Ferrerra


Tocarra Jones

Jill Scott


And now for a little about our guest blogger, Selena Illyria.

I/R Author, Selena Illyria was born with need to write and an over active imagination. She loves to write stories that push her imagination. When she’s not writing, she loves to read many different genres of books, watch some of her favorite movies (too many to be named) and televisions shows. She also, loves to listen to some of her favorite musical artists. All of these things help inspire her to write. She does believe in the quote above. She does believe that part of writing does bare a part of the soul.

For a taste of her work:

With His Mind

by Selena Illyria

publisher: Changeling Press
cover art by Bryan Keller

ISBN: 978-1-60521-057-5
Genre(s): Futuristic, Paranormal, Sci-Fi
Theme(s): Interracial
Series: Family Heirlooms
Length: Novella

To Buy


Stacia Allen loves her job and has no desire to lose it. But she’s been “friends with benefits” with Jason Montano for months… and he’s her boss. And now he says he wants to “talk” about their arrangement.

Jason has a confession to make. He’s in love with Stacia… and he’s a telepath. To even the playing field, he plans to give her a family heirloom that will let her read his mind in return and also see images he projects. Oh, the sexy possibilities!

To learn more about Selena:

Pink Chair Diaries:


  1. Welcome to the Grip, Selena!

    I really love the premise of WITH HIS MIND. Telepathic sex has got to be one of the more erotic notions around.

    Thanks for joining us.


  2. Selena,

    Thanks so much for joining us at OGG. A wonderful post and the line, 'After all, there are no stunt doubles in life.' really says it all, doesn't it. There are no second takes, this is all you get, so why not live it to the fullest.


  3. Thank You for the Welcome and Thank You for the invite. :-)

  4. I'm glad that women are becoming more comfortable with their weight, but as someone who is naturally thin, I'm always incredibly offended when I'm told I'm not "real" or that someone else is more "real" than I am because I'm not a size 14. I don't think slamming skinny girls is any different than telling larger girls to drop some pounds.

  5. Hi Selena,

    No lemmings! Everyone is different as it should be. Great blog post, thanks for dropping by the Grip.

    And anonymous, I don't think anyone meant to slam skinny minnies this week. We just want the pressure to be off, and let everyone be happy where they're at in life. Thanks for commenting!


  6. Anonymous,

    I'm sorry if you feel we've slammed thin women, that was never my intention and I'm sure it wasn't from the others here either. I think what we'd all like to get across is there are some amazing women out there who are so busy struggling with a weight issue, they're not taking the time to actually live their lives. Some larger and smaller women are putting themselves at risk and that's heartbreaking.

    Slim women have their own set of problems. Gaining weight can be as difficult for some as loosing is for others. Most women don't have the problem and it's difficult for them to identify with someone who is naturally thin.

    Have a lovely weekend.


  7. Hi Selena!

    Thanks for visiting our blog. Down with lemmings I say.



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