Friday, September 19, 2008

Keep Them On Their Toes

The winner of the free e-book of Pixels and Pain is Elissa Abbott. Please join me in offering her a big round of applause. Elissa, please send me an email (jgoodman @ and I will send you your copy.

And now for something completely different…

I have been a bit of a prankster for as long as I can remember. My pranks don’t always go through as planned, but they are usually quite funny (to me at least). Most of them are harmless, having only a high aggravation factor. Here is a list of some of my favorites in no particular order:

1. Monday Morning office assault. Sneak into a co-workers office before they arrive and apply liberal amounts of Scotch-tape to strategic items on and around their desk. Put tape over the ball of their mouse and a small paper clip under their left mouse button. Disconnect their Ethernet connection from the wall jack but leave it in far enough that it looks like it is still hooked up. Place a single piece of Scotch tape on the telephone receiver to secure it to it’s stand on one end. Crank the volume on their speakers to max. When they come in on Monday morning, the first thing they will do is fire up their computer. The mouse prank is the easiest to spot at this point, followed shortly by the blast of noise that spouts from their speakers. Once they get logged on, they realize that they can’t connect to the network (this is a fairly common occurrence in my office) so they grab the phone to call IT. Since the receiver is connected to the heavy base, they both come crashing down on their desk. It is a great way to start a work week.

2. Wait until an unsuspecting co-worker goes to the restroom for an after lunch visit. Once you are sure they will be there for a while, kill the power to the entire bathroom. As we have no windows, they find themselves in quite the pickle. Of course, it is a good it is a good way to find out the answer to an age-old question: How does a blind man know when he has completed the paper work.

3. Put anti-seize into the headbands of your entire crews hardhats. They won’t notice anything amiss until they start sweating. This one is usually received badly. Apparently the gray goo is a bugger to get off your skin.

4. I have super-glued quarters to the floor in almost every hall/bathroom in every company I’ve worked for.

5. Of course, I have applied liberal amounts of stickers to hardhats, jackets, shirts etc. But, I have also went so far as to make up bumper stickers that were custom made to reflect the one thing in this world that would embarrass the receiver most.

6. I have tricked co-workers into using the intercom thinking they were talking to a real person. I have conferenced phone calls with their significant others into a PA system. That one nearly got me fired.

7. For my most homophobic co-workers, I have paged/called them and had them call the Gay and Lesbian Support Hotline. Oddly enough it still didn’t help open up their minds.

8. I have gotten into their cars and turned on the windshield wipers, cranked up the radio, set their emergency brake, and pushed their seat all of the way up/back.

9. My most common prank is the sudden noise/movement. I often find co-workers so engrossed with their work that they have no idea that I am in the room with them. Yeah, they figure it out pretty fast. You would be surprised what kind of things gets thrown into the air if you scare someone bad enough. I am also a big fan of banging on doors/walls when people are expecting a little peace and quiet.

10. Take one lonely piece of shrimp and tape it to the back of their desk. If there is no easy way to access the back of the desk (or place the little critter where it is hard to find, put it in the hole on the bottom of the chair (where the rollers meet). After a day or so, it will start to decay. Not an over powering smell. But every time they set at their desk, they will get a strange whiff of death and they will wonder where the smell is coming from for hours and hours on end.

Now don’t get me wrong, this has never been a one sided affair. I have gotten almost as much as I’ve given. I was just sharing some the favorites from my personal repertoire. Enjoy, but use with caution.

Happy Pranking!


  1. LMAO. Those are hilarious. Thank you so much for the brilliant ideas.

    My best prank ever was when my ex and I borrowed his friend's car to go to Canada for my birthday. His friend's car wasn't super sporty or anything, but the friend LOVED his car and we had to swear nothing would happen to it.

    So on our way home from Canada I called the friend from the Ex's cell phone and made myself burst into tears.

    I told him that we had been stopped by customs, they had seperated us, wouldn't let me see the Ex, and were tearing the car apart.

    The Ex was biting his fist to keep from laughing as my tears became sobs and the friend was in a panic. He kept telling me to calm down, not to worry about the car, asking which side we were on, did I need him to come get us (with wife's car presumably.) etc.

    I finally lost it and started laughing, telling him I was kidding. He hung up on me and didn't talk to me again. Though this was not such a loss since the Ex and I broke up not long after anyway. (Unrelated.)

    I will have to try some of yours and let you know how they work out.

    Thanks for the amusing Friday post.


  2. lol, that rocks!!! I can practically see him in panic mode. :D

  3. You are a naughty fellow! The worst thing I ever did was "lose" the remote during football season. House hunk had to keep hopping up from the couch when the channel kept inexplicably changing. Sigh.

  4. congrats to elissa.

    and may i say you are e-v-i-l. that monday morning thing...oh man...killer. not to mention the conference call.

    my favorite prank i ever pulled was to sew a drunk friend to the carpet when he passed out so when he woke up he was stuck. that was a riot to watch.

  5. oh wait, there was also that time i almost got a friend arrested too....

  6. Yay! I won--I never win these little giveaways thingies.

    I have to say, though: you are a cruel, cruel man.

  7. wow Elissa, Congratulations!

    James, you remind me of Puck from a midsummer's night dream, the one who put a donkey's head on a fool's head and magic juice on the sleeping princess's eyes, so that when she got up, she fell in love with the donkey!

    Ewwww at the shrimp! I would throw up at that!

    I have played quite a few pranks too, but just to teach some ppl a lesson. There was a professor in the university, who used to flirt with us girls. So I called his wife in the middle of the night & told her, that his 'girl friend' had given birth to twins. I wonder what might have ensued between them, I was not there to witness! But We all saw a very bad mood that the professor was in, the rest of the week!

  8. James, I'm sooo glad we don't work in the same office:)