Monday, March 30, 2009

Zaftig...I like that!

By Jamie Hill

The twenty-first century is in an information glut, and with technology improving all the time, I'm not sure we're going to get out of it.

"Too much information, dear," I'm always telling my husband. Some things, I don't need detailed descriptions of. (I'll stop there, you can use your imagination.) I feel the same way about celebrities and the octo-mom. Last week I saw a picture of one of the octuplets, taken with an eerie, green, night vision camera. Excuse me? Why do we need to see the baby sleeping, and who's creeping around outside his window with a freaking night vision camera?

The blossoming of the internet over the past few years has exposed us to twenty-four hour information. Now, with TV, internet news and bloggers scrambling to fill their time slots and pages, the simplest stuff has become 'news'. Brangelina goes to the grocery store. Jen and John were seen at Bob's Big Boy. So what? I can't imagine how the celebrities feel, and while I realize the mere fact of being a celebrity means they've given up a certain measure of privacy, I still don't want to hear about it when Brad Pitt picks his nose. I was saddened by the death of Natasha Richardson, but I don't want to see the first pictures from her funeral. (I saw that preview- where- Entertainment Tonight, I believe?) Leave her poor family alone.

When I was a kid I enjoyed watching award shows for a glimpse of my favorite stars on the red carpet. What's he or she wearing? Who's he with? That type of stuff. It was once or twice a year. That was interesting. That was enough. Now that it's an everyday occurrence, I couldn't care less.

Some things do catch my eye. When Jessica Simpson was blasted for putting on a few pounds, I was disgusted. I didn't think it rated nightly news and front page Yahoo spots for two weeks, but no one asked me. Now one of my actress faves from years ago has put herself on display. Valerie Bertinelli is on the cover of People magazine this week, wearing a bikini.


You can't feel sorry for a star who puts herself out there. She lost some weight and feels good about it. If I could wear a bikini again, I'd feel great, too. I suspect Valerie has a little of that post-divorce-I-want-to-look-fabulous-to-find-a-new-guy-and-make-my-ex-jealous thing going on. I've seen it in my friends who were divorced. They always lost weight and started looking their best. Personally, I think I'll keep the husband and the few extra pounds.

I don't think thin is sexy. People with flat, washboard bodies are not 'all that'. For the media to hype it up so much that our daughters/nieces/granddaughters are on diets and worried about what clothes make them look fat is absurd. I believe the majority of adults feel the same way. (Teenagers and early twenty-somethings are in another world of their own, I won't go there.)

Give me a body with some meat on the bones, a few curves in all the right places, now that's sexy. And someone with a little more weight, who's healthy and feels good about herself, that's sexy, too. It's all in the attitude, and in the perception.

I also know it's subjective. Thank goodness, or we'd all be fighting over the same ten guys! Lisabet used a word yesterday that I really liked-- Zaftig. It's Yiddish for having a full, rounded figure, or pleasingly plump. I like that! Sure, there are some days I'd rather look like Valerie Bertinelli in her bikini, but mostly I'm happy being me, and I hope she's happy being her. Me, I'll probably be zaftig for the rest of my life. And that's okay. My hubby thinks I'm sexy, and that makes me feel great.

19 comments:

  1. Good post. I think the question I'm still struggling with is why fashion has decided thin is sexy, when the consensus here and pretty much everywhere so far is that its not.

    Garce

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  2. True, Garce, and people who are really thin--In my experience, anyway, look down on people who are not. Sad but true.

    Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. Wow Jamie...do I agree with you! I felt he same way about those things. That poor mother...I'd be freaked out at those pictures. Someone sneaking around my house? And the same for Jessica. Now I'm not a fan but I found myself thinking...so what! Now she looks healthy! And I'm glad my hubby wants a woman with curves. Makes me grateful. :)

    Maurya

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  4. Hi Maurya,

    You're right. Jessica looks healthy and people jump all over her. The other one I used to be amused by was Eva Longoria. She's about a size -4. When she put on a couple pounds and got up to size 0, the media was all over her for being fat! ROTFLMZAO! (Notice I added the Z in there for zaftig. I love that!)

    *G*

    Thanks for stopping by.

    Jamie

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  5. Yup, you got it too. Great post Jamie and I'm with you. I'm keeping my man cause there ain't no way I'm taking the time to train another one.

    Oh, I bad. LOL

    Seriously, if something isn't done soon, I really fear for the well being of our children. I mean when a nine year old is dieting, it says something. It's not only girls either. Boys have gotten into this of late. Boys and men, I should say. Very sad.

    Great post. And as a bisexual woman, I prefer some meat on a lady's bones. Yum!

    Hugs

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  6. Hi Jude,

    Yes, I know a seven year old who refused to wear certain clothes to school because they made her look fat. Her four year old sister was right there watching, taking it all in. Sheesh!

    Thanks for stopping in.

    Hugs,

    Jamie

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  7. I know what _I_ think is sexy. Women with curves. (Yes, I'm bisexual, though mostly in theory as opposed to practice!)

    And being a celebrity - heaven forbid! Living in a fishbowl does not sound like any fun at all!

    Warmly,
    Lisabet

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  8. I know what _I_ think is sexy. Women with curves. (Yes, I'm bisexual, though mostly in theory as opposed to practice!)

    And being a celebrity - heaven forbid! Living in a fishbowl does not sound like any fun at all!

    Warmly,
    Lisabet

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  9. Hi Lisabet,

    That's pretty much it- what each person thinks is sexy. We're all different. I do think the media puts their spin on things, though, and tries to tell us what to think.

    I might try the fishbowl life for a while if money came along with it. Just try it, mind you. LOL

    Jamie

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  10. Valerie already had a boyfriend prior to her divorce so I'm not sure how much the-get-a-man thing played in for her. She and Eddie separated in 2001, current boyfriend since 2004 and divorce started 2005. Even the boyfriend lost weight with her (he's no sex idol). I have to defend her because it sounds as if she did things the healthy way.

    I also have known plenty of women that did the makeover after the divorce. I told my hubby his coworder was going to get dumped before he even knew it. The girlfriend did a complete makeover. Weight loss, belly ring.

    I agree that Hollywood is a fishbowl of ever shrinking sized goldfish.

    My niece is one of those little kids that puts an emphasis on weight and appearance. She started in Kindergarten. We're a zaftig family for the most part. She's a little cutie and her parents emphasised that too much. Now she's a little diva.

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  11. I'm a middle-aged woman who can admit that I would rather be thin, than not thin, and that I would rather be fit than not fit. (It doesn't matter to me that my husband is fine with the way I am now, or that other men are fine with the way I am now. I don't give a shit about that. It's what I WANT that counts.)

    I'm in menopause now, and put on pounds because of it. The pounds are coming off, and that's the way I want it. Those pounds are coming off with a healthy diet and exercise. ( I'm a black woman. We don't starve ourselves. )

    I think Valerie looks great, and more power to her. She has every right to feel good about the way she looks now. (Often times women are harder on women than men are.)

    Jolie du Pre

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  12. Hi Kytaira,

    Nice to hear Valerie's boyfriend lost weight with her. I don't know her story and didn't mean to sound like I was judging her. I think she looks great, too.

    There's a fine balance with kids, isn't there? I'm all for promoting their self-esteem, but I know a few whom the parents call "princess" and the kids do whatever they want. That can only come back to bite them in the end, so to speak. heh heh heh

    Thanks for commenting on the blog!

    Jamie

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  13. Hi Jolie,

    From the pictures I've seen of you, you look mah-ve-lous, dah-ling, so whatever you're doing is absolutely working. Each of us has to do what we think is best for us.

    My brother told me one time to quit talking about losing weight and just lose it! I went and ate a bag of Oreos.

    Thanks for stopping by the Grip and sharing your thoughts. Have a great week!

    Jamie

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  14. Thanks Jamie.

    There are many different types of body shapes. I would prefer that we women focus more on our minds than on our bodies. As long as we continue to let men tell us how we should look, we will continue to be fucked up in the heads.

    As for me, I don't like being overweight. I like the way I fit into clothes and the way my body feels when I'm fit. That's what I like. (What men think doesn't matter to me. If we want to lose weight, if we want to get fit and healthy - we should do it for ourselves - not for men.)

    I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to eat healthy and be fit. However, a woman who is not thin - and who is happy with the way she looks - is perfectly okay too, as long as she is healthy.

    If a woman is not eating right and not exercising - but then makes negative comments about fit women who do eat healthy diets and who do exercise - that's not right either.

    Let's be honest with who we are, treat ourselves better, and live productive lives.

    Jolie du Pre

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  15. Love the body you're in, that's all I can say. If you love that body, then you'll take care of it, and being fat or thin will become a moot point.

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  16. The celebrity magazines all pretend to be shocked at starvation diets, but let an actress gain a pound and they're all over her. She gets pregnant and doesn't go back to her prebirth underweight and her woes are plastered all over the front page -- but who's buying those magazines? If the celebrity stalkers who dish out money for those tell all trash mags would stop buying them, then the publishers would stop selling them. The problem lies with us, the consumer. If you don't buy the message, put your money where your mouth is or stop whining about the bad messages we're sending.

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  17. I think that on that cover Valerie looks good. She lost weight, but not an excessive amount. The legs on the woman on the right in Lisabet's blog look like they can barely keep her upright.

    Navy standards for body fat make sense, 20% for men and 30% for women. Too thin does cause amenorrhea and infertility as a protective mechanism.

    Being rail thin is OK for railroads, but not for humans.

    Ray

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  18. Thanks for stopping by and commenting everyone. Jude picked a hot button topic this week! Seeing everyone's opinions has been quite interesting.

    Have a great week!

    Jamie

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  19. God help me from ever being famous - that's all I can say!

    It they ever get started on writers, I'm running for the hills, lol.

    Kim Dare.

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