Monday, June 28, 2010

Charmed To Meet You, I'm Sure

Maybe it’s because I’m the least visual human being on earth, but I rarely get turned on by a person’s looks. Show me a picture of a fit, nude body, and I’ll know that aesthetically it’s supposed to do something for me, and I do admire it, but it’s not as if I’ll fantasize about that body when I masturbate. However, captivate me with conversation, and no matter what you look like, my mind will wander off in delightful little daydreams of mussing the sheets with you in a hotel room (4 star, of course, with a view. You deserve only the best).

Is it bad form to admit that I’ve imagined fucking many people I admire? I don’t want you to feel violated, but on the other hand, let me assure you that if I've fantasized about you –if- you were good in bed. Very, very good indeed. Everything you hate about your body was as good as invisible to me. I liked the way your skin felt against my lips. I loved the way your voice got a bit breathless as you asked me to keep doing that. And while I’m not much of a cuddler, the part I liked most was the way you laughed in bed afterward, how comfortable and confident you were chatting about string theory or steampunk or motorcycles while sprawled across the bed in a happy haze of sex. If that still makes you uncomfortable, just assume that you fall into the group of people I haven’t imagined fucking. Either way, I still respected you in the morning.

I’m in a long term relationship, but I’ve had crushes on many people during our time together, and he knows. I know all about his emotional affairs too. While we’re deeply committed to each other, we’re honest enough to realize that we can’t give each other that wonderful rush of first infatuation anymore. I’m not talking about a physical affair. It’s purely about enjoying the good feelings that come with a sweet little crush. Since we never expect or want those affairs of the heart to go anywhere beyond unrequited affection, we don’t have to face the ugly downside like we did when we adolescents. Eventually, those intense feelings fade. That’s the nature of fantasy. So we kid each other about our crushes, and even encourage them, because it keeps us young at heart, and man, does it ever lead to some good sex.

7 comments:

  1. I don’t want you to feel violated, but on the other hand, let me assure you that if I've fantasized about you –if- you were good in bed.

    That seems like a fair enough policy; and it reminds me of lyrics to a song I wrote a few weeks back for Shanna Germain's Masturbation Month blog: I'm not bad in bed / But I'm better in your head...

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  2. Jeremy - Hah! Exactly.

    And what other sex theme songs have you written? I may need one. Some thing like "we're sipping port in the library while I'm molesting you in my dreams"

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  3. Yours sounds like a hit to me!

    Most of my songwriting, sexy or otherwise, happens under another name, so unfortunately (or, what the heck, fortunately) I can't quote myself any further here. But the complete (brief) NaMaMo song can be heard here [linked from the comments].

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  4. Okay, I'll go ahead and admit it too--I've fantasized about some of you. You've literally shown up in my dreams.

    That's all I'm going to say...

    I agree 100% about the physical not being the trigger for attraction. Or at least, not directly. The physical is a mirror of the soul to some extent, and in that sense I can be drawn to someone because of how he or she looks. But some of my best lovers have been, in objective terms, unremarkable physically or even, by some people's standards, ugly.

    Hugs,
    Lisabet

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  5. Lisabet - this could be a week of interesting confessions.

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  6. Kathleen,

    You said: "So we kid each other about our crushes, and even encourage them, because it keeps us young at heart, and man, does it ever lead to some good sex."

    I can't think of a better validation for fantasy. Excellent post.

    Ash

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