Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Weirdos

The reason I chose the topic of Unconventional Crushes for my first on the Grip is pretty simple. I love weirdos. Always have, always will. Even back in high school, while everyone was busying drooling over some boyband with interchangeable members, I was in love with Tim Curry.

Yeah. That Tim Curry. The one who plays transvestites and devils and killer clowns.

Of course I didn't fancy him while playing a killer clown. I shit my pants while he played a killer clown. But I did fancy him in the little known but much loved movie, Clue. Et voila:






I know. Not much to fancy there, eh? I mean, just look at the frog eyes and the weird mouth and the general air of British stiff-upper-lippedness. None of that should be sexy. And yet it IS because he's awesome and I just want him to chase me around a manor house in the 1930s. Possibly while being repressed.

I think repression plays a big part in my lust for unconventional weirdos. For example, another high school love was Data. You know, the android- from Star Trek? The greeny-yellow one. The one who literally couldn't feel anything. My God, how I lusted after him! No surprise that I now lust after Spock, from the new Star Trek movie. He doesn't want to feel anything.

Unless it's my butt. I'm pretty sure he wants to feel my butt, when I'm busy frantically thinking about being trapped with him, in a Jeffrey's tube. The name Jeffrey's tube alone sounds like the most heavenly dirty thing in the world, so I'm pretty sure something would end up happening in there, despite the iron lock of emotional detachment that's probably wrapped around his penis.

But I digress. What was I talking about? Oh yeah- repression, and how it probably actually sucks in real life, but is totally orsum in my head. In my head, repression is one of the few barriers left in the modern world, between my heroines and their lust objects. Repression makes the flame of sexual tension roar, and lots of secret erections can occur, and everything is bad and naughty and wrong and oh.

Surely I can't be blamed, for liking weirdos?

11 comments:

  1. Hi Charlotte,

    Tim Curry? I can see that. I thought Clue rocked (it was released over here as Cluedo) and remains one of my favourite movies.

    He also played a lascivious old college professor in Scary Movie 2.

    Definitely an actor worthy of anyone's unconventional crushes.

    Best,

    Ash

    ReplyDelete
  2. Charlotte,

    I can completely understand those crushes. And is it fair that a Vulcan has total bedroom eyes? I don't think so.

    (and just for you: "I hated her sooo uch. Flames! Flames out of the side of my head...)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Charlotte,

    I used to have a thing for Tim Curry myself. LOVED him in Clue, and in Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    In fact, I own a copy of Clue and I have passed on the joy to my daughter. : ) Waiting a bit longer on RHPS. : )

    Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ashley- Yay for the Tim Curry love! I also liked him, bizarrely, in Home Alone 2. He does a great smarmy but baffled.

    Kathleen- LOL Can't believe how many people have seen Clue! God, loved her so much in that. And as for Spock's giant chocolate whirlpools of unfettered sex...yeah. Sooooo unfair.

    Michelle- Your daughter is in for a treat when she's old enough to watch RHPS. I remember watching it for the first time and being blown away and just about able to appreciate all the subtext and the commentary on sci-fi movies and such.

    And by Tim, of course, whose versatility always astounds.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lady, I'm so cool I actually did a painting of that exact still of Wadsworth in like ninth grade. Tim Curry's always been on my dish list.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was so in love with Data that I cried like a pathetic loser in the cinema when they killed him off. I's still have his cybernetic babies *sighs*

    And um... there's the whole wife stealing black and white minstrel lust that stills runs through my veins like booze through a tramp.

    PS: I'd do Tim Curry too. His voice makes my knickers evaporate.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cara- Actual paintings of Tim Curry?? I am thrilled by this news. Thrilled. You are loved, Tim!

    Harley- The film was shit. I still blubbed like a baby. And LOL at you describing Papa love that way. By God that makes it sound unconventional! You have me beat by a clear country mile, with that one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The name Jeffrey's tube alone sounds like the most heavenly dirty thing in the world

    ROTFL. Oh, you're so right.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I remember Tim Curry as the clown in "It". I don;t know about Spock, but I thought the bald Vulcan lady in the first movie was pretty hot.

    Garce

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey Charlotte,

    I knew you'd deliver...!

    I've obviously got to see Clue. I've always been totally in love with Frankenfurter. He makes me shiver with antici....pation!

    You've obviously touched a nerve here...or something like that!

    Hugs,
    Lisabet

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jeremy- knew it.

    Garceus- She's totally hot!

    Lisabet- I've hit the motherlode of Tim Curry lovers, that's what I've hit!

    ReplyDelete