Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Science Of Pet Peeves

Yeah, you know my pet peeve is going to be something daft. You can hear it coming down the pipes, can't you. The problem is, I struggle to rate pet peevery. The things that make me rage are too big to be considered a pet peeve - like people being arseholes for no apparent reason - and the stuff that irritates me is too small and daft, like:

Flies in summer
Accidental burning of food
Sudden holes in clothing that came out of fookin' nowhere
A distinct lack of naked pictures of the dudes I fancy

But then, maybe pet peeves are more about the level of irritation you feel over them, rather than how big or small they are. So I thought about my middle ground, my medium, low level hum of botheration, and came up with this:

Films that release in America, then take one hundred years to come out over here.

By God that's irritating! Far more irritating than flies in summer, but not as rage-inducing as random arseholes. And by that I do not, of course, mean sudden bumholes appearing in front of your face, to do some kind of bumhole dance. You may have thought I meant that, being an erotic romance writer, but I did not.

I just said it because it sounded like I meant that, and then I did a big silly laugh.

But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. Stupid film companies that release their stupid films stupidly late everywhere else. So that by the time it crawls its way over here, no-one's talking about it anymore, I've stopped caring and don't want to see it thirty times, and on top of all this, I'm cross in the perfect amount of pet peeved way.

And then I realise that this is primarily a blog where people talk about writing, so I've attempted to apply this impeccable, wholly scientific logic to writing:

Publishers treating their authors like dirt? So much rage it makes me black out, briefly.

Getting stuck at an awkward bit in a story, and not knowing where to take it next? Too small. Passes by quick, usually.

But the relentlessly empty inbox, that taunts me day and night? Ah...just right.

8 comments:

  1. An empty inbox? *angelic choir sings* that's the holy grail.

    Oh, and "A distinct lack of naked pictures of the dudes I fancy." I'm with you on that.

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  2. I knew there was a science to this! Thank you for the tour of your laboratory, Dr. Stein.

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  3. I feel your pain with the lack of naked photos of guys you fancy!! xx

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  4. "Publishers treating their authors like dirt? So much rage it makes me black out, briefly."

    Ah yes, you have hot upon one of my own hot buttons. I could write a whole manual on how publishers *should* treat their authors, since it is after all a. a business, b. they need authors for their business to function, and so many more points that I find myself growing all angsty thinking about it.

    Yes indeed, I could black out myself just dwelling on it, given that I have a release that is a month (and counting) late in coming out, through no fault of mine, payments and statements have been growing later and later, and comments to authors even more snarly lately.

    Grrrrrr. This one I think for me goes beyond pet peeve into a whole 'nother level with "rant alert" as a necessary warning.

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  5. Films that release in America - and have you champing at the bit to see them - and then don't come out over here for 100 years.

    I feel your pain. I think we should start a support group.

    Cheers Charlotte :-)

    Ash

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  6. Kathleen- Oh it's lovely when you manage to wade through everything and make it nice and clean, but so not fun when it stays nice and clean, and you never get the answer you're waiting for from someone!

    Jeremy- I am ever at your service, Professor Edwards.

    Lucy- LOL I can't believe there are two people who feel pet peevey frustration over the lack of nude pics! That's fab.

    Michelle- Exactly, exactly. Far too rage inducing for a pet peeve. Just reading your comment, there, brings on the rage. Going to the Absolute Write forum- FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. Makes me sick. If you're going through that at the moment, you have my sympathies and my rage. I hear those stories far too often for comfort.

    Ashley- Yessss! I knew I wasn't crazy, having that as a pet peeve! I'm with you on the support group, I tell you.

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  7. Hi Charlotte

    I didn't realize you get films late where you are, wherever that is. When I lived in Panama it was like that. The bootleggers were selling the DVDs on the street before it made the theater.

    Garce

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  8. Hey Charlotte,

    Publishers that treat you like dirt? Get rid of 'em! You deserve the best, lady!

    As for random arseholes (as you Brits say), they're too frequent to really get upset about.

    Hugs,
    Lisabet

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