Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Sexual Pioneer

Okay, so, I'm going to go with this one:

"3. Explain a fantasy you'd love to do in your imagination, something that excites you but you'd never in a million years do it in the real world, because its (sic)impossible to perform or too squicky to endure. But something that excites you to imagine."

Because although I play at being a sexual adventurer in my books, in real life my idea of kinky heaven is to accidentally pull my knickers up a bit fast. A slightly too hot bath is outrageous, to me. I get all flustered over that bit in Young Adam when he licks her ear with his curly tongue.

I am not a pioneer of all things horny.

But like most, I do have some pretty wild fantasies. I mean, I write about a lot of them for a living. But there's one in particular, one that I love above all others and always go back to. I've no idea why I like it - perhaps because of the dichotomy between naivete and out and out filthiness - but anyhoo, here it is:

Basically, right, I'm in the future. Only in the future everyone's forgotten what sex is. And then one day, through some hokey device like I dunno - a ghost from the past or a magical secret library or some ~feelins~ that start emerging or summat - I alone discover this thing where people actually put their parts in other people's parts! Hooray!

Of course I immediatly become the sexual pioneer I'm nowhere near in reality, bringing the good news to the uneducated and entirely innocent and pure masses. I see these future people as somewhere between Spock and the clones from the movie The Island, all dressed in white and very "Good Morrow, citizen!" - only you know, big and hairy and sort of looking like Armie Hammer and Brandon Routh.

And then I corrupt them both terribly. Or sometimes, they're the ones who find the secret library/magical teleporter/other stupid device, and they corrupt me terribly. It's all very equal opportunities and free love and oooohhhh, look what this thing did!

And of course, it's all absolutely impossible in reality. Mainly because:

a) I could never partake in anything other than a twosome. Two legs and two arms are enough. I have no idea what I'd do with twelve of the things.

b) I can barely teach people how to write a coherent sentence. God knows how I'd go about teaching a guy who looks like Armie Hammer that his willy goes up and down.

c) Time travel has not, as yet, been invented. I know. It's a real bummer.

And that's my fantasy that I can't do. Of course there are many, many more I can't or won't do in reality, for reasons as varied as chafing, mess, lack of Yoga classes, sad level of attractiveness, weak jaw muscles, etc. But I'll save those for another time...

P.S. I have two books out this week, both featuring many, many things I'm probably physically incapable of doing with lots of big, strapping men. Guarded is my fantasy world Princess and her two bodyguards story, and Telling Tales is my second full length erotic novel, featuring such acronymical delights as MFM, MM, MMF, MMMM, MFMF...the list goes on. And if you'd like the chance to win these two sexy tales, all you have to do is go here and comment:

http://themightycharlottestein.blogspot.com/2011/09/new-releases-competitions.html


Would love it if you could stop by!

5 comments:

  1. Hi Charlotte!

    I think that's a really good fantasy, it may even touch on something universal and Jungian and so on. I had a similar fantasy when I was a kid the first time I saw the movie "The Time Machine". I thought the Eloi girl Weena had a kind of docile innocence that seemed very erotic and easily seduced. I imagined myself rampaging through the Eloi women folk pretty much the way you do here. Not a bad way to spend the future.

    Hope the books go well.

    GArce

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  2. I'm glad to know that your first thought for a time machine is to use it to make booty calls. That's applied technology!

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  3. Kind of like back when the internet was being invented, and the engineering geeks with pencil-protector pockets spoke earnestly with each other about inventing a revolutionary new technology that would culminate in allowing for everyday citizens to...wait for it...watch any variety of porn they want, 24/7! Talk about inspiration!

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  4. Actually, Charlotte, you ARE a sexual pioneer, simply by writing. I do love the fantasy, though. And I defy any of us to come up with one that's more impossible... though maybe Garce can do that!

    Congratulations on the dual releases!

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  5. Garce - it's never the idea of docility that gets me going. I imagine rampaging, all right, but my fellow rampagers are usually madly curious and eager to get going once the fun starts. To me, naivete doesn't have to go hand in hand with passive compliance - in fact, I find passive compliance or even reluctance a turn off. But yeah, it's not a bad way to spend the future!

    Kathleen - would you expect anything less from me? It has to be about the booty calls!

    Fiona - sometimes I think all human invention is about sex, at its core. Some dork wants to impress some cheerleader/jock, and hey presto! A time machine.

    Lisabet - I think I've got everyone beat, on that score. At least most people's are possible without the aid of something that hasn't been invented!

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