By
Lisabet Sarai
“Miss Meriweather. Increase the gain by another order of magnitude. Ah—oh, by Newton’s apples!—”
“Is
that too much, Professor? Shall I dial it back?”
“No,
no, we must continue. Another notch, please.”
“But
your face is scarlet, sir. And your member—Oh,
God, are those sparks?”
“To
be expected when experimenting with electrical forces, Miss
Meriweather. Adjust the rheostat as I’ve instructed. Argh—that’s
good, excellent...Oh! More. More...!”
“Sir,
the boiler will blow. The needle’s halfway into the red zone
already.”
“We
need more power—more steam—oh,
incredible! Amazing! We shall be the first to chronicle the detailed
response of the male organ to various levels of electrical
stimulation—oh, by Aristotle, turn it up, girl! Don’t stop now!”
“I
smell burning. And you’re drenched with sweat.”
“All—all
the better—ah! Enhances conductivity—what? What are you doing?“
“Protecting
you from excessive scientific curiosity. I don’t want you hurt.”
“But—I
was so close to a breakthrough... Unstrap me immediately, Miss
Meriweather. If you won’t assist me, I’ll have to man the
controls myself.”
“Sorry,
Professor. I can’t do that.”
“You
disobedient little hussy! And where—oh,
by Pythagoras, you’re not wearing knickers!”
“Before
you research artificial sexual stimulation, sir, shouldn’t you
investigate the real thing?”
'by Newton's apples.' LOL. Love it, Lisabet!
ReplyDeleteAlso, '“We need more power' reminds me of a Hunter Thompson story where he's checking into his hotel suite, trying to get 220v electricity in every room. He's blotto crazy, of course and hotel staff doesn't know what to do with him. Or what the power is for.
Well, of course!
DeleteYes! Investigate, investigate! (:v>
ReplyDelete
DeleteAre you volunteering?
Love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd why am I humming Steely Dan songs now? Heehee.
Sorry - I don't get the reference...
DeleteThanks!
"Steely Dan was born – but they still needed a name. As big fans of Beat Generation literature Becker and Fagen looked to the controversial novel Naked Lunch from William S. Burroughs for inspiration. They decided on the name Steely Dan as it was a name used in the book – given to a strap-on. A giant, steam-powered strap-on to be exact – nick named Steely Dan III from Yokohama."
DeleteBeing a member of this blog is endlessly educational! Thanks, Willsin!
DeleteSteamerotica! Who needs steampunk? (Hm, "Steamporn" has a better ring to it, but would be inaccurate. Maybe Steamsmut? I just might feel and altho coming on...)
ReplyDeleteIt's one of my favorite genres, Sacchi. Actually I have a whole steam punk series rattling around in my head. Just no time to write it, at least not yet.
DeleteMy favorite is - "and oh by Pythagoras, you're not wearing knickers!" Lisabet you are a hoot!
ReplyDelete(Blushes). Thanks, JP!
DeleteTypical male nerd. But I'm sure your heroine can show him a few things,heh. Great scene, Lisabet.
ReplyDeleteI strongly suspect Miss Meriweather knows what she's doing!
DeleteI've got to throw some love to, "By Aristotle." Every one of the exclamations was hilarious and awesome, and no one had praised that one specifically yet. An enormously fun piece, Lisabet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Annabeth!
DeleteI've said before that I think I had a prior life as a Victorian woman. Maybe I was a Victorian woman scientist!