by Giselle Renarde
It was a simple curiosity that grew into a fascination, and then a fascination that became an obsession.
I'm talking about girls who get off in front of their webcams and post it on amateur porn sites. As I said, I tuned in solely out of curiosity. I knew how I got myself off, but I wondered how other women played with their bodies when they were home alone. Maybe I wanted to see if I was "normal." Who knows?
So I watched an amateur webcam video of a slim young woman using her fingers and then her toys to bring herself to orgasm. It all looked very familiar. I had to watch another to make sure it wasn't just a one-off.
The same sequence of events repeated in the next webcam masturbation session. This girl was plump with big boobs. To see her on the street, she would have seemed perfectly plain, but her arousal made her sexy.
Just like the first girl, she started with her clit. She played with it over her panties while she squeezed her tits, and then she stripped to get down and dirty with her pussy. She stroked her clit until her need to be filled was visible in her eyes. Then she sunk her plump fingers inside and fucked herself fast.
Patterns repeated, video after video. There were endless variations, but every woman—young, old, curvy, thin—seemed to start with her clit and her tits and then move on to fucking herself with her fingers or her toys. The pitch and intonation of her pleasured cries were so familiar they could have been my own. It was affirming, watching all this. It made me feel like, yes, I am one of them. I bring myself to orgasm the same way they do. We all are one.
Maybe it's strange to find webcam masturbation sessions cosmic, but watching one after another after another, I did.
That's why I decided to make my own.
My intention wasn't to satisfy the male gaze or feed the desires of the voyeuristic masses, even though I knew my clip would end up doing that too. I honestly don't feel like it was the exhibitionist in me that wanted to make this video. Well, maybe a little... but mainly, I figured I wasn't the only woman out there who got curious about how other women pleasured themselves. I wanted to be one of the average, everyday girls showing the world a woman is perfectly capable of satisfying herself. It was a feminist endeavour.
That said, I didn't want my video to one day end up in my mother's inbox with a note attached like, "Look what your daughter's been up to!" Unashamed though I am of my pussy and my will to pleasure, I wanted to make my video anonymously.
After a shower and shave, I set up my webcam so the only part of my body it captured was my cunt. Maybe it seems like a strangely intimate body part to share with the world, but the way I figure, only me, my doctor and my lovers would recognize it. Filming it segregated from the rest of my body made me feel like it was somehow separate from me as a person.
I lined up my toys so I wouldn’t have to get up and fetch them mid-shoot. Then I got into position and pressed record. I watched my pussy convulse on my computer screen before I’d even touched it, and I wondered if I should say anything to the viewing public. Ultimately, I decided against sharing my voice. Just my pussy. And my fingers.
Reaching down, I tapped my naked clit to wake it up. I rubbed my pussy lips with my whole hand. I did that slowly and repeated the action until I could feel the juices flowing inside my body. As soon as I sensed the gush of my natural lube, I slathered it all over my clit. I was surprised how it glistened, even on the cheap webcam video, like there was no disguising the blessedness of a cunt.
Setting a finger on either side of my clit, I rubbed back and forth. My whole body reacted—I nearly jumped out of the shot! I had to force myself to sit still while I rubbed my bud so the viewing public would get a good look at my self-inflicted sex. I thought about watching other women doing this, and of other women watching me. Out of curiosity.
When my clit wanted more than my fingers could offer, I turned on my cock-shaped vibe. It was a big one, and a powerful machine. It brought me to orgasm in less than a minute of pressing its smooth head close to my clit. I tried to stifle the sounds of my passion, but ultimately decided I wanted the watchers to hear what my orgasms sounded like.
I wore my clit out with the vibe, but I wasn’t finished yet. That’s when I pushed the fake cock inside myself with one well-lubricated thrust. It felt so good to pound my pussy with the big vibe that I came all over again. When I finished with the toy, I stroked my pussy lips with my fingers to calm myself down. After my body stopped jumping and my breathing returned to normal, I clicked stop on the video.
I think I watched it sixteen times before uploading it to the amateur porn site, each time asking myself, “Do I really want to put this out into the world?”
Despite my silly apprehensions, the answer was obvious. Yes!
Secret Confessions, published by eXcessica.
No naughty encounter is ever complete until you tell somebody about it. And who doesn’t feel a tingle while reading a naughty story and wondering, “Is this true? Did that really happen?”
In this collection, you’ll find a whopping 36 erotic stories, as explicit as they are wicked! These confessions involve lesbian encounters, exhibitionism, porn appreciation, voyeurism, masturbation and self-love, cheating and deception, threesomes, group sex, sploshing, ice play, public sex, fisting, sex with a loving partner, female fantasies, rimming, anal play, stranger sex, double penetration, spanking, insertions, bondage, and so much more!