Monday, March 31, 2008

The Challenge...

The Amarinda Blog challenges the Oh Get a Grip Blog to put their money where their mouth is and give an opinion. I want to know the 5 things that total and utterly piss you off beyond all reason. No namby pamby responses will be accepted.

Well, that's clear enough. I could probably think of twenty, but the one I chose has a certain
immediacy for me. I'm preparing to go to a convention. This convention will have several fancy events that require special clothing. Since I'm built like that ancient mother goddess (see picture on right), finding clothing of any description can be difficult, but during my hunt for the right outfits, I discovered that not only does nothing fit--it's all designed to make me look like I'm wearing a circus tent!

All I wanted was a variety of black mix'n'match pieces. If one of them had a few little sparklies on it, that would have been nice. Nope. The house hunk pointed out a beautiful turquoise halter topped dress. When I patiently pointed out that nobody wanted to see my ham shaped arms, let along enough cleavage to smother Cleveland, he asked, "Why not?"

I gave him one word. "Pictures."

Now when you're built like MG, there is no disguising that fact, but there's no need to advertise it either! So I continued in my quest for something classical in style. In two days I walked my legs off and this is what I found out. In this country, if you are a large sized woman and you need a pretty outfit for something like a wedding or dance, you're out of luck.

What I want to know is... in a nation FULL OF FAT PEOPLE, why is no one making clothes for them? Article after article after article rants on and on about what a crisis this is in our country and even around the world. So why are there no nice clothes for them? The stores I checked out were upper end retail establishments. And they had an upper "end" size limit. When they had clothes in my size, they were the most God-awful colors, fabrics, and styles you could imagine. Bilious pinks, oranges, and lime greens...

Take a peek back at the MG statue. Now visualize her in a full flowered skirt paired with a "baby doll" top in pepto bismol pink. I kid you not. And it was trimmed in fluorescent bead work. Another one I came across was flamenco red (with good reason) since it was evidently designed with an overweight flamenco dancer in mind. Deep ruffles around the hem and halter neckline. It reminded me of that scene from that Disney movie with the dancing elephants.

Another thing--why do the clothing manufacturers think that I'm tall, just because I'm rotund? Do you know how silly I look (and feel) when my sleeves cover my fingers and the pants are 4-6 inches too long? Do I look like I have nothing to do with my life except hem my clothes?

In one store, there was an enormous display of fancy dresses. It's getting to be wedding season and prom time so the stores are going all out. Well, I looked through all the racks and the top size was 16. So I asked the clerk where the Women's dresses were. She directed me to another part of the store. There were sweat pants and tops. There were jeans, t-shirts, chinos, and sweaters. There was one rack of mis-matched outfits marked clearance. There were no dresses of any description.

I asked the clerk in that department where the fancy dresses were for WOMEN! "Ah," she said, "this is what we have." Then with the carelessness of the young, she added, "Fat women don't dress up anyway." I couldn't help wondering about all those chubby young women I see walking home from the local high school. What do they do for their prom?

Perhaps the reason so many fat people look like slobs is because they can't find clothing to fit. And if your clothes don't fit, you don't really feel like moving around much. You don't want to go outside. You really don't want to go to a gym. Actually? You just don't care.

Because I never know when I might meet a potential reader, I make a conscious effort to look professional and neat every time I go out the door, whether it's to walk around the block or go to the store. That's why I know how difficult it is to find comfortable clothing. I would say that 90% of my clothing comes from Wal-Mart. And of all the clothing I buy, I would further say that 95% of it is one brand. Why? Because I can count on finding pants that are exactly the right length and shirts that fit without dragging around my knees. The price is attractive, too.

I would like to shop around and have a greater variety, but that doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon. I should report that I found two sparkly tops so I'm pretty well finished shopping. But I'm not in any hurry to do it again. Not at all.


2) It pisses me off when people talk personal business on their cell phone at a restaurant while I'm trying to eat. I'm talking about really personal business. One guy in the booth behind me was describing what he planned to do to his girlfriend the next night. Even I learned some new things. Things I didn't want to learn and hadn't thought of.

3) It pisses me off when poor white people cannot get government assistance in an emergency while the rest of the rainbow has no problem with this. A young woman I know had $3 in her checking account and was told that she didn't qualify. How can you not qualify and why isn't it an emergency? Does she literally have to be on the street? She sat two days in the waiting room so she could speak to someone. Other people--particularly those that spoke no English--walked in, spoke to an interpreter--and walked out with assistance in hand.

4) It pisses me off when children talk back, whine, throw fits, etc. in stores, restaurants and other places and parents do nothing. When my kids were little we had an iron clad rule. You talk back, etc., we leave right then. If two parents were present, one took the child out to the car. If you were alone with the kids, you all left. Our kids knew that misbehaving in public meant that you didn't get to stay in public.

5) It really pisses me off when people use the "f" word in public. I've heard it used as a noun, adjective, adverb, verb, and every other part of speech all in one sentence. Get a life, people! Can't you be more inventive than that? Don't you know any other words? Maybe I could loan you a dictionary.


  1. Pretty good but where's the other four things that piss you off? It was five each. I'll cut you slack Anny as you were the first to do it but my email is for 5 things each - no further interpretation will be accepted or I will consider you 'grip' people aren't up to the can you come up with 5 things each or are you going to wimp out as expected?

  2. Anny, I sympathize with you. At 5.1I never bought a dress or a pair of pants I didn't have to shorten. Luckily my mother insisted I learn to sew years ago. It comes very practical now to do alterations which are a must on anything I buy. For my daughter's wedding, I had a lot of trouble finding a suitable dress, and for my son's wedding I found it easier to lose 10lbs.

    BTW I like your blog a lot.

  3. LOL, Mona! My sis is 5'11'' and I used to get into trouble when we were in jr high and HS; she had enough trouble finding jeans that fit, and I kept accidentally shrinking her jeans! Mom was furious.

    I'm with you on the clothing thing too, Anny. I've reached the 'store size limit' in pants. If I want to buy my size, I have to order them online. Once in a great while I'll actually find them on the shelf, but as the 'longs' fit better than the 'regular', I've been irritated lately that my size will only be found (and only 1 pair!) in the 'regular', or if they do have the 'longs', it is in a style I can't stand!

    Nursing homes do this too; Dressing everyone in sweats makes it easier on the staff to help dress and undress. My great-grandmother was horrified, as she rarily wore pants. But she always took care to look her best. And my own MIL wears dresses, and we're constantly readjusting her so she's not 'flashing' anyone when she's in her wheelchair.

  4. Oops, Mona! Misread your height. You said 5'1", not 5'11"! Further proof I need to wake up some more...

  5. AMEN on all 4...2) I also don't like to hear it in public bathrooms!

    3) Happened to us 16 years ago. I can sooooo totally relate to the frustration! We were desperate, but the fact that hubby could possible (eek!) go to work the next day caused us to be turned down. Maenwhile, the guy ahead of us walks out with a handful of food stamps and climbed into a BMW. We just wanted $40's worth to put food in the house and buy infant formula! But no....

    4) I hate parents who cave into their toddler's demands. That's our rule too: Act up, we leave. End of conversation.

    5) And I also hate it when every other word is "f---". As my mom says, it shows a limited vocabulary and poor manners.

  6. I would love to rant right now, but I'm saving up for tomorrow.

    Excellent blog and I think you met that challenge nicely... er, meanly. Whatever.

  7. So when did "goddess" stop meaning round and comfy and feminine anyway? And tell your house hunk he rocks!

  8. Amen to the five gripes.

    I totally agree. Also, I buy my clothes online. I am goddess like in form. In fact, I related really well to the The Witches of Eastwick. Not the witches themselves but the statue cher was carving.

  9. Now that's what I'm talking about - well done Anny

  10. Hear hear! Or is it Here here? Whatever. Great gripes Anny. As someone who is very fond of the "f" word, I try to be very careful when speaking in public so as not to offend others with it. I grew up around cops and corrections offices, my entire working life has been spent in warehouses, and my best friend is literally a sailor, my language is colorful. But others do not need, or obviously want, to hear it. So I try to be cautious. However, when in certain company, watch out. I can make trucker's blush.

    Dakota Rebel

  11. Anny, I couldn't have said it better. I';; be the one that looks like a pumpkin with feet, although I've learned not to waddle. And you're right. Why don't they make clothes for REAL people instead of toothpicks? I buy almost everything online for a variety of reasons and I collected my favorite sites for clothing for pumpkins. So rage on, Anny. you are a goddess as far as I'm concerned.

  12. Well met, Anny. I second all your gripes. Why does fat equate to tasteless? And I hope that clerk that told you fat women don't dress up blows up like a balloon more and more each time she makes a thoughtless remark like that.

  13. 4) I WISH parents would just keep their kids under control -- in the library where I work we often have to contend with kids screaming, racing around like its a playground, pulling books off shelves, even rearranging furniture...

    5) and again, in the library I got so sick of a bunch of teenagers using the 'f' word in every conceivable combination I took a dictionary across to them and suggested they consult it for alternatives.
    They left.


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