Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Weakesses...I have so many (a visual journey) by Suz deMello

They've changed, of course, over the years, as I've sought to defeat all of them and have done so at various times in my life.

But temptation has a distressing tendency to pop up over and over again.

First: men. This is a weird one. I actually don't like very many men or for very long. My most lasting and fulfilling relationships are with women, and I do profess myself bi-curious. One day I'll act on that. 

I do have one very dear male friend:

Tom is the sweetest, kindest guy in the world. Too bad I'm not in love with him.

And here's my worst temptation and greatest mistake, the man I called Trapper in a fictionalized memoir, Perilous Play. I know I  should stay away from him, but few days go by that I'm not tempted to contact him. But I don't. Not often, at least. I have that much sense. 

I've even gotten to the point that I don't like even looking at his photo, though I do sometimes as well as reread our correspondence, in the way that a child pushes on a bruise to see if it still hurts.

It does. It also turns my stomach.

I don't drown my sorrows, though I have had my innings with booze. I'm more likely to eat to fill that empty place inside me. Many women crave chocolate. That's okay, but I love salty snacks.

My current weaknesses. Twenty minutes into Game of Thrones, I'm poking in the bottom of the bag to get the crumbs. Bliss!

And there are the smokables--or the vapables, pot and tobacco. These days our vices are denatured.

And here's a weakness I glory in: Regency romance, the first romances I ever read and still do adore. Is the tendency to take comfort and find refuge in books a weakness?

I don't have any brilliant conclusions or even a clever quip to end this blog, except to note that the struggle to become a better person is neverending.

As Gilda Radner said, "There's always something."


  1. I don't think anyone could call books a weakness. But then, that might just be my perspective...people might view my book-infested home a sign of limited will power.

    I know exactly what you mean about the temptation to get in touch with a guy, even when you're 100% sure it's a terrible idea. Been there, done that.

    The Inner Peas look tasty!

  2. I grow. See you at the Leather, Lace and Lust reading with M. Christian July 11 @ the SF Center for Sex and Culture. I'll bring a gift.

    Thanks so much for turning me on to that reading. Chris' events are fun deals.

  3. Ooh, I hope you and Daddy have fun on the 11th. I'm sad I'm so far away!

    And I'm a huge fan of dried, flavored peas. (My girlfriend made my day last week by giving me one pack of black pepper peas and one of wasabi ranch).

    I love the pictures!

    1. Wasabi peas are a great snack because I can't eat too many :)


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