Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Deceit Amongst the Vanilla, a story told via FB Messenger by Suz deMello

You're friends on Facebook

Why am I not the least surprised to learn you've been writing erotic novels?

HA HA HA HA HA very funny. Except for writer's block, yes, I write, mostly fiction, mostly romance. How's life treating you?

How's life treating me? Frankly, it's been anticlimactic since the day you walked into my office holding what you described as your 'survival kit' (a small metal vial containing a joint and a birth control pill) and shamelessly tried to seduce me. I demurred not only because I was then screwing a particular attractive colleague in the Political Science Department but also because of the professional disaster that would certainly have befallen me had Randy Severson stuck his head in the door and found me licking your cunt. (And no, you can't use any of this in your next erotic novel.)
Whoa...I have no memory of that whatsoever. Not even of the so-called survival kit. I must have been high. Yes, I can see how that would be a high point in one's life. I did have a major crush on you for years, though. I do remember hitting on you shamelessly. You never took me up on my offers so I figured you were gay.

(Sound of heterosexual chuckling.)

What is the difference between a straight chuckle and a gay one?


I thought maybe your chuckle lacks a rainbow.

Why did I get a message at 8pm on a Friday night from a writer of erotica. Does all the debauchery I'd expect you to be engaging in on Fridays and Saturdays start that much later even for seniors?
LOL debauchery? I live with and take care of my mother, who is 85 and has Alzheimer's.
Debauchery is for Saturday night.
You wouldn't happen to be fingering a small metal vial as you send these messages my way?
What sort of small metal vial do you have in mind?
The one you say you have forgotten about that you were carrying that day in my office years ago.
No, that long gone...if it ever existed. Sure that wasn't a fantasy of yours? About li'l ole me?
No, I'm sure it existed because I recall asking you what it was. That part wasn't a fantasy. On the other hand, I've more than once wondered over the years what would happened that day had I welcomed your overture. The thought of you giving me a blowjob right there in my office has occasionally brought comfort on a lonely night.

Awww, so happy to have brought comfort on one of your lonely nights! And with so little effort on my part. This must be what people mean by "low maintenance".
One would like to believe there was a reciprocal fantasy.

(sly smile) That would be telling wink emoticon
That's OK. I'll just assume I was the inspiration for Tor Kilburn.
OMG did you read Rakes in Tartan? I love that book. it is such a cool book with great unexpected plot twists, even if I do say so myself.
I only read the first few (free) paragraphs of Rakes. But at the moment I'm reading about you going to Sea Ranch with Trapper. I may open a bottle of wine and keep turning pages instead of heading over to 58 Degrees to join tonight's festivities.
That's you on the cover, isn't it?
That's an interesting book. As you read, keep in mind that most of the events actually took place in 2012, here in Sacramento. I disguised his identity because he didn't want his kink life made public. These days, I kind of wish I told the truth. I don't feel as though I owe him anything.
The condo at Sea Ranch is actually Point Pleasant, in San Bruno.
Otherwise, most of that book is the absolute truth, except for the last menage.
I'll keep that in mind.
The cover photo is quite fetching.
(Blushing prettily) Thank you.
I'm actually wearing that same bra right now.
That's cruel.
You know, a racing heart can be dangerous for men my age.
Lolol.. have a great evening!
Tell me, what would be better than curling up with a good book?
The party I am going to! Ciao Bella.
Curling up with its author would have been an agreeable response.
smile emoticon pleasant thought...we may evolve to that. smile emoticon

Thanks for an exceptionally interesting read. Hope you enjoyed last night's party.
Very much! Had a blast. You stayed in on Halloween night to read my book? I'm extremely flattered.
It was much more entertaining than mingling with mobs of costumed drunks. I just saw The Martian at Imax in 3-D. Now unwinding over a cab franc from Anjou st 58 Degrees. How's your rainy day Sunday going,?
Great. I rarely watch football anymore but i just felt like taking in the Raider game today while my yoga room warms up. The Raiders actually look like they're going places this season. That is, Someplace good as opposed to their dismal performances for decades.
I don't follow football much anymore or basketball, either college or pro. One day, I just realized I didn't much care who beat whom. (So, obviously, I also don't bet on games.)
I spent so much time out of this country that I really lost track of everything. And yeah, I really don't care. I just don't particularly feel like doing anything more intellectually stimulating at the moment. What's really interesting about the NFL is that it is organized as a non-profit despite the billions it generates.
Baseball is something else. I subscribe to mlb.tv to watch Red Sox games anywhere in the world. That's led to some amusing conversations.
I suppose I could wander down to the other end of the bar to see the TV, but the young women sitting there might think I'm making a move on them.
Maybe they're into older guys. Ya never know.
What bar?
58 Degrees.
Do you know the place?
Oh yeah. Like it.
Ha. Demographically, most women I'd be sexually attracted to would have to be into older men.
There ya go wink emoticon

I got your message earlier today as I was leaving my ophthalmologist's office with eyes dilated. So what I initially read was "Thought this would arouse you". Now I see you were going for a titter rather than a tintillation.
Judging by your correspondence, you don't seem to need additional stimulation wink emoticon

In London many years ago, I knew a woman I came to call Fastidious Fiona. Before engaging in fellatio, she would perform a ritual involving a basin, a pitcher of warm water, a face cloth, and a bar of Lux soap. After cleansing me to her satisfaction, she would then satisfy me to mine. After a brief interlude, she would retrieve the basin, a new pitcher of warm water, a face cloth, and the bar of Lux soap for me to cleanse her mimsy before pleasuring her. I was fond of Fiona.

Nothing wrong with attention to the basics. After all--she didn't know where you'd been wetting your willy, and you didn't know who else had been mouthing her mimsy.
Gotta love alliteration.

It's a horrible habit of mine.

Like a naughty nun costume?
Or a wicked witch?
Were you having a fantasy this morning about gently rubbing your mimsy against my face?
Whoa, cowboy. My thoughts are more about lunch or a drink sometime.
Sure. But you can't stop a guy from thinking the kinds of thoughts that get his heart started in the morning. We'll do lunch or dinner one of these days.
Lovely! Let me know when you're free.

I'll check my calendar.


Brunch this Sunday, 11:30 at the Grange?
Oh nooooo...can't make Sunday. Are you free Saturday morning?
Going to SF Saturday. Are you free later Sunday afternoon?
Nope...we're not getting together this weekend, apparently. Im free for Lunch tomorrow and breakfast Thursday, though, of you don't mind a midweek meeting.
Can't do lunch tomorrow. The September trade numbers come out in the morning, and I have to stay available for press interviews most of the day. On Thursday, I'm having breakfast with one of my Maine friends.
I can do lunch on Friday or wine late that afternoon.
Dang. Our schedules just don't jibe this week.
Since you've been waiting 40 years for me to ask you out on a date, what's another week?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you're right. Let me see how next week is gonna shake down.
I must say you've been remarkably patient all this time.

Well, I've enjoyed a few distractions
Apparently, you have.

And good morning to you, too.
Happy Trade Numbers Day!

Are you Beacon Economics?
Ah. Nice work if you can get it, as the song says.
On average, the WSJ quotes/cites me at least once a month on topics ranging (this year) from labor strife at West Coast seaports to naval convoys through the Strait of Hormuz. I'm better known on Wall Street than on Capitol Mall.
As long as you're paying the rent and feeding the cat, it's all good.
More like paying the rent and covering the bar tab. No cat.
Good enough wink emoticon

As long as the hedge fund managers who read the WSJ are willing to pay me $500/hour to chat, I and my wine merchant will be happy.

Like I say, nice work if you can get it. I'm happy you're happy! I wasn't practicing law regardless of the ridic hourly rate I charged. No amount of money was worth the stress.

I try to minimize stress by minimizing my needs. In many respects, my life is not all that much different from the life I led as a graduate student, except the food and beverages are of much higher quality. I make my own hours. I don't have an alarm clock. I don't have a house. I don't own a car. I rent a small apartment in Midtown. I read a lot. People seem to respect what I have to say.

You live my ideal life--the one I lead when I'm overseas. Here, family demands I live someplace that requires a car. Suburbia. GAH

How advanced is your mom's Alzheimer's?
My sister died a year ago this month at 82. Over her last two years, she was unable to recognize family or friends. Over her last four years, she was unable to care for herself. She had been a state senator in Maine. She was close friends with Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how heartbreaking the loss of a sibling can be.
Sorry to hear. What were the circumstances, if you'd care to share?

Our eldest brother died of kidney cancer in 2006 after a year-long illness. He was younger than I am now and in incredibly good shape, which was the reason his illness and death came as such a shock. It was pretty sucky. At the same time my best friend committed double suicide with her husband, my marriage was falling apart and I was undergoing menopause. It was as bad a year as I've ever experienced.

Sorry to have nudged you into recalling the events of that year. What's your calendar look like for next week?
Don't need to apologize--unfortunately, I have a somewhat obsessive mind and recall them often, though without the level of pain I felt at the time. (Actually, though, I was numb. So no pain, but not much of anything else).
Next week is still largely a mystery but I should now more in a couple of days. Bear with me?
Certainly. As I pointed out before, you've been waiting patiently (albeit with a few distractions) since the mid-1970s for me to take you on a date. So what's another couple of days before your dream finally comes true?
LOLOL funny. I'll try to restrain my insane desire for another few days.

Trying to arrange a respite caregiver so we can have lunch this week.
Any days better/worse?
Oh, and Happy Sunday!
Thanks. Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday are all good for lunch.
And a glorious Sunday to you. A good day for what I'm doing at the moment - foraging at Costco.
How do you get there? Uber, Lyft, or a friend?
You rent a car for that? Prob worth it for lifetime supplies of Kleenex and pasta
I get a cart for 24 hours at less than Zipcar would charge for three hours. Do I can do numerous errands without stressing about time.
Smart. How often do you need to do that?
BTW tomorrow or Weds good for lunch. Where and when? Do you need a ride to wherever?
Can you meet at Waterboy at noon tomorrow?
let me check.
I can do that--see you then!
BTW my cell # is___-____ in case of last-minute screw-ups.
Looking forward to our date!
Likewise! Finally!

I hate to mess you around, but will 12:30 be okay? My mom is going to lunch with her friend and is leaving at 12, which means I can leave at the same time and not hire a caretaker.
OK. Waterboy couldn't give us a 12:30 table, so I booked one for 12:15. Which means that I'll have had st least one glass of wine before you arrive.
That should be fine. I may arrive and be able to park by 12:15 if the weather and Mr Kramer cooperate.

I tremendously enjoyed lunching with you today and eagerly look forward to our next meeting.
Me too!

Sorry I missed your call! I was asleep...it was 1:49 am here.
What's up? Anything urgent?
smile emoticon

Weird. Don't know about any late calls last night.

Have you checked your TMs lately?
Don't know about TMs. But certainly looking forward to seeing you Monday.

me too. What time shall I pick you up?
Do you want to cook dinner together?

Uhhhh....did I say something wrong?

No, no, no. Just been a very, very busy day. Sorry. I'll let you know about pick-up Monday. I can meet you at Arden Fair to spare you trip into Midtown. I have champagne.
Ooh, champagne. This gets better and better.
BTW would rather go to midtown than Arden Fair, but whatever works for you is fine.
Scallops go nicely with champagne, don't they? Maybe on a bed of spinach?

I'm sorry, Suz, but I can't go through with our tryst. I haven't been entirely fair to you these past two or the weeks. There is a woman in my life with whom I am very much in love. We have been together, more or less, for nearly 34 years, and I am loathe to do anything that might hurt her. The problem is that you excite me in ways she hasn't in many years. Spending tonight with you would very likely have been great fun. But it would also entail deceit. You wrote in one of your stories of how you became emotionally attached to the men you slept with. So spending the night with you would ultimately lead to complications and stresses I don't wish to invite. Part of me regrets having to make this decision. But I do think we'll all be better off for it. Jock
Thanks for your honesty. Yes, physical and emotional intimacy are linked, for me, and I don't tolerate deceit. Polyamory is not cheating. As I mentioned, I've talked with Gary about you and am startled that you haven't been open with your partner, especially given that you've been with her for over thirty years. If you ever decide to speak with her about an open relationship, I'd love to see you intimately. But without that, it's not possible for me. The only way that a relationship with me would create complications and stress is is you aren't honest with everyone with whom you are intimate.
I'm disappointed, of course, because you excite me enormously. If you ever decide on a more honest course, do please get back in touch.
In any event, it would be lovely to see you every once in a while to catch up on things smile emoticon
Warmest regards,
I am especially happy that you told me before I went shopping wink emoticon
Glad we avoided that complication.
Stay in touch. You interest me as much as you excite me.
Chat Conversation End
Seen Nov 23


  1. HOW did you do that, Suz? (Get the messenger script embedded in a scrolling window, I mean.)

    Meanwhile, this is so absolutely perfect for the topic, I'm in awe.

    1. This literally JUST HAPPENED, Lisabet! I'm in awe, too. Thanks, Fate!

  2. I am amazed at your proficiency in designing such a cool delivery! Like cartoon balloons.

    1. I got lucky! FB Messenger and cut-and-paste did it all.

  3. This is dead-on topic, and it gave me that voyeuristic thrill I love. It also made my blood boil at the jerk.

    1. I was fairly upset myself. He'd read Perilous Play, my BDSM memoir, which has a section discussing poly vs. cheating. He should have known better. At least he came clean before we'd become physically intimate (beyond kissing).


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