By Lisabet Sarai
Finally, I’m where I belong.
I’m on my knees, at your feet, waiting for you to decide what happens next. Will you wrap my already prominent nipples in rubber bands, to see how much plumper they could be? Will you unfasten your belt so you can paint new stripes on my ass? Will you fuck me? Will you kiss me?
Whatever you choose, I’m here, here where I know you want me. Where I want to be, more than anywhere else in the universe.
I kneel for you, spread for you, writhe for you—and only you. After all these years, I’m still full of wonder at the connection that binds us. You don’t need to tell me how grateful you are for my surrender, though sometimes you do. We both know the truth, and glory in it.
I honor you by bending to your will. You honor me by accepting the gift I offer.
Everyone else would be horrified to see me in this place of apparent abasement—horrified and astonished. I’m not the type to take orders. Friends call me assertive and proactive. Others less favorably inclined label me aggressive and bossy. A less likely slave would be hard to imagine. I’m competent, articulate, a natural leader, a feminist. I’m opinionated and stubborn, according to some people. But submissive? No one would believe it.
If they saw me here, in this place, they’d label it as abuse, or worse. The welts on my butt—the ropes cinching my wrists—the scar on my shoulder where you carved your initials—they’d call this insanity, pure and simple.
How little they understand. It is pure, this devotion, or tries to be. I dream of perfecting the alignment of my will with yours. You dream, I think, of possessing me ever more completely, of pushing me harder, of testing the depth of my commitment and discovering it is bottomless.
This place gives me the courage to step out onto that perilous wire, when you invite me. On my knees at your feet, I am brave enough to attempt anything your devious imagination may suggest. I’m frightened—you’d hardly enjoy it, if I were not—but in this place, trust overcomes fear.
On my knees, at your feet, I don’t worry about what anyone else might think. I worry only about pleasing you. This place strips away all the silly concerns of daily life, reminding me of what really matters. My mind quiets even as my body hums with the heat you kindle. I am calm, patient, at peace as I wait for your next command.
This place gives me joy.