Once more with Feeling

Hand me some more of those second chances, too, because I sure as hell need 'em most of them time. I tend to speak impulsively, without meaning harm of course, and find my foot firmly planted in my mouth. Anybody hear me on that one? Fortunately, my friends are understanding and indulgent and are quick to forgive if I've unintentionally offended. WHEW.

But that's just the little stuff. The other second chances are harder, more painful. I'm not just speaking of marriage second chances here. My husband and I will celebrate a 26 year anniversary this year and yeah, we've had big huge UPS and even huger DOWNS but we both like to talk and we're both stubborn, so we've managed to work through tough things. No I'm actually talking about the giant second chances that drop in unexpectedly during the course of our lives.

Many of you know that years ago I fell into a deep, dark hole and those who loved me feared I'd never be able to climb out of it. Some might not be able to understand why I feel free to talk about such a painful time but I look upon it as my own personal survival story. It gives me strength to recall those days and realize how far I've come. I wrote then with no publishing success and went through a number of personal things that simply proved too much to handle. I fell hard into that black hole but when I finally climbed out, I smiled into the sunshine and realized I'd been given a second chance. I took a breath, grabbed with both hands, and held on for the ride. I took each day as it came, giving myself permission to fail, to not be perfect, to just BE. Once I realized that, absorbed it, I took baby steps into writing again. Just little ones. Later, I learned that timing is everything. Someone took a chance on me and my first book was accepted for publication. This all snowballed and now I'm enjoying some measure of success. I got a second chance to live my dream but now I wonder if the journey itself wasn't more valuable than what I gained in the end.

These days, I'm thankful that I found some guts, some courage and took the second chance I was given. I don't take myself too seriously these days. I laugh. I love. I enjoy. Nope, I don't stress about the calories if I want extra cream in my coffee or indulge my love of chocolate. The world won't end if I never sell another book and the universe will not shatter, if I mess up sometimes. I got one second chance, didn't I? Maybe there are a few more chances right around the corner. I'm sure I'll need em.