I wear gay underwear.
I feel stupid saying such a thing, but it seems to be the case.
I reject the “boring” underwear — the black, the navy blue, the white, the gray — and prefer colourful underwear. Well, I have one pair of navy blue boxer briefs that I’m wearing today, but only because it’s laundry day and it’s my last clean pair. Tomorrow I’ll be back to the sunshine yellow or the red and white pinstripes or the purple camouflage.
There used to be one chain store here in the city that sold colourful underwear — and I live in a fairly big city — and it was Superstore, a national grocery chain. They manufacture and sell their Joe Fresh line of clothing, which used to include colourful square-cut boxer briefs that were super comfy. Now, though, they’re all black or dark gray. In other words, they’re boring. I’m no longer interested in their underwear.
There is no longer anywhere to get non-boring underwear for men in this fairly-major Canadian city.
I find it so stifling to wear “normal” colours all day at work. I’ve got my nice gray cords or my slim-fit blue jeans and a variety of t-shirts that run the gamut of colours and are appropriate for work — but all of it is… well… it’s blend-into-the-crowd clothing. It’s hard to get stand-out clothing on a writer’s budget.
Underwear and socks are generally the exception — I can usually find good stuff at a good deal, and it’s where I can go crazy with colours.
I wear socks and underwear that are bright colours and clash with whatever else I’m wearing. And I love it. I do it for the simple fact that I want to wear bright colours. Even if I’m the only one that sees my hot pink briefs or my purple socks, it makes me happy to wear them.
But it’s getting increasingly hard to find these things in person. I think I’m now forced to buy all my underwear online.
And I think it’s because straight men (and I’m generalizing here) think colourful underwear is gay.
There is, of course, the “really gay” underwear, like what Andrew Christian manufactures and sells. These are the ones that have the “anatomical pouch” that makes someone hung like a shrimp look like he’s hung like a horse, and usually have ultra-revealing designs, or maybe even the words “cum slut” printed on the bum.
But I’m talking the “mildly gay” underwear. They fit nice and they’re bright colours. Their websites seem to be clearly targeted at gay men (or perhaps at women buying for their straight male partners). They seem to know that straight men wouldn’t be caught dead looking at an underwear website. Perhaps they assume the straight men are just going to buy Hanes because it’s what’s available at Walmart.
I find it depressing sometimes that colourful underwear — which is identical to other underwear in every way except for the colour of the fabric — is seen as gay. My husband (who, haha, is gay), only wears black or gray underwear. He doesn’t want to wear anything colourful in case he goes to the gym that day.
For me, though, I don’t care what underwear I’m wearing to the gym. I’m comfortable in bright colours, so that will make me comfortable at the gym. I wear my teal briefs to yoga all the time, and when I start up again at the gym, I won’t feel any shame or embarrassment if I wear my blue and white polka dot briefs.
I think straight men, in our sometimes-toxic-masculine culture, are taught that underwear is a utilitarian piece of clothing. Only women and gays wear non-utilitarian underwear, apparently.
Straight underwear is so boring.
I find it stifling.
Cameron D. James is a writer of gay erotica and M/M erotic romance; his latest release is Dominating the Freshman. He is publisher at and co-founder of Deep Desires Press and a member of the Indie Erotica Collective. He lives in Canada, is always crushing on Starbucks baristas, and has two rescue cats. To learn more about Cameron, visit http://www.camerondjames.com.