Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Gay Underwear

I wear gay underwear.

I feel stupid saying such a thing, but it seems to be the case.

I reject the “boring” underwear — the black, the navy blue, the white, the gray — and prefer colourful underwear. Well, I have one pair of navy blue boxer briefs that I’m wearing today, but only because it’s laundry day and it’s my last clean pair. Tomorrow I’ll be back to the sunshine yellow or the red and white pinstripes or the purple camouflage.

There used to be one chain store here in the city that sold colourful underwear — and I live in a fairly big city — and it was Superstore, a national grocery chain. They manufacture and sell their Joe Fresh line of clothing, which used to include colourful square-cut boxer briefs that were super comfy. Now, though, they’re all black or dark gray. In other words, they’re boring. I’m no longer interested in their underwear.

There is no longer anywhere to get non-boring underwear for men in this fairly-major Canadian city.

I find it so stifling to wear “normal” colours all day at work. I’ve got my nice gray cords or my slim-fit blue jeans and a variety of t-shirts that run the gamut of colours and are appropriate for work — but all of it is… well… it’s blend-into-the-crowd clothing. It’s hard to get stand-out clothing on a writer’s budget.

Underwear and socks are generally the exception — I can usually find good stuff at a good deal, and it’s where I can go crazy with colours.

I wear socks and underwear that are bright colours and clash with whatever else I’m wearing. And I love it. I do it for the simple fact that I want to wear bright colours. Even if I’m the only one that sees my hot pink briefs or my purple socks, it makes me happy to wear them.

But it’s getting increasingly hard to find these things in person. I think I’m now forced to buy all my underwear online.

And I think it’s because straight men (and I’m generalizing here) think colourful underwear is gay.

There is, of course, the “really gay” underwear, like what Andrew Christian manufactures and sells. These are the ones that have the “anatomical pouch” that makes someone hung like a shrimp look like he’s hung like a horse, and usually have ultra-revealing designs, or maybe even the words “cum slut” printed on the bum.

But I’m talking the “mildly gay” underwear. They fit nice and they’re bright colours. Their websites seem to be clearly targeted at gay men (or perhaps at women buying for their straight male partners). They seem to know that straight men wouldn’t be caught dead looking at an underwear website. Perhaps they assume the straight men are just going to buy Hanes because it’s what’s available at Walmart.

I find it depressing sometimes that colourful underwear — which is identical to other underwear in every way except for the colour of the fabric — is seen as gay. My husband (who, haha, is gay), only wears black or gray underwear. He doesn’t want to wear anything colourful in case he goes to the gym that day.

For me, though, I don’t care what underwear I’m wearing to the gym. I’m comfortable in bright colours, so that will make me comfortable at the gym. I wear my teal briefs to yoga all the time, and when I start up again at the gym, I won’t feel any shame or embarrassment if I wear my blue and white polka dot briefs.

I think straight men, in our sometimes-toxic-masculine culture, are taught that underwear is a utilitarian piece of clothing. Only women and gays wear non-utilitarian underwear, apparently.

Straight underwear is so boring.

I find it stifling.



Cameron D. James is a writer of gay erotica and M/M erotic romance; his latest release is Dominating the Freshman. He is publisher at and co-founder of Deep Desires Press and a member of the Indie Erotica Collective. He lives in Canada, is always crushing on Starbucks baristas, and has two rescue cats. To learn more about Cameron, visit http://www.camerondjames.com.

6 comments:

  1. Good for you, Cameron!

    Every life needs some bright color. (Even the lives of straight men, if they'd only admit it.)

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  2. I have a pair of boxers; black background with eyeballs all over them. Blue and brown with the red capillary veins. It's a matter of "I only have eyes for you."

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  3. See, that's where lesbians have an advantage. They can wear both underpants and bras in wild colors and/or patterns and even lace under their sober work clothes. Even those who generally dress in masculine-of-center outer clothes can secretly role play a bit of femme fashion.

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    Replies
    1. See? Now that's something that puzzled me about Cameron's post. What, pray tell is "appropriate for work"?

      Cameron? Do you take your pants off at work?

      :>)

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    2. Just one leg at a time, like any other man, I'm sure.

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  4. Isn't it odd how the older we get, the more restrained becomes our rebellion? But we just can't give it up entirely...so we find ways to rebel that won't get us, metaphorically or employment-wise, spanked.

    For me, I used to dye my hair red as an act of rebellion, since I have white skin that always burns, along with freckles. I figured there was some mistake made when I was given brown hair, so I rectified it. Only now I'm totally grey, and NOT dying it is an act of rebellion. Yes, I often wonder if others see me as even older than I am, since I'm all silver. And no one would think of me as a "hot mama" anymore, since I'm a grey-haired old lady now (except my husband, who calls me his "silver fox.")

    So enjoy your colorful, silky underwear and socks! We all need to feel less like cogs in a machine, and more like authentic human beings. And personally, I shop for bright colors all of the time. My husband says I ask myself, "Would Bozo wear this?" and if the answer is yes, it ends up in my closet.

    Do you remember the song, "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll" by Ian Drury and the Blockheads? He says, "Grey is such a pity,I should wear the clothing of Mr. Walter Mitty..see my tailor, he's called Simon, I know it's going to fit."

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