by Giselle Renarde
My mom just got back from a vacation with her friends.
A couple weeks before she left, I had a dream my mother died during her trip. You'd think it would rip my heart out, but it didn't. There was a voice in my head saying the universe had given me enough signs. I knew this was coming. So, emotionally, I was on the numb side of being okay.
It was a very bureaucratic dream. An unusually pragmatic one, for me. My dreams are usually fun, entertaining. This one was dull, grey. My siblings and I were dealing with all the mind-numbing paperwork that goes along with the death of a parent... instead of dealing with our emotions. That's par for the course, with us.
In my dream, I got the quote for how much it would cost to ship my mother's body home, since she died overseas. I remember thinking, "My credit card won't cover this. What kind of person has a credit limit this low?"
I woke up the next morning to the familiar sound of an envelope shooting through my letterbox. Mail from my credit card company offering me a higher credit limit.
I'm not psychic. I don't have precognitive dreams, never have. But that one shook me. Not just the dream itself, but the confluence of dreaming about needing a higher credit limit and immediately being offered one. That's a little spooky.
The last time I saw my mother, we were sitting around my grandmother's kitchen table. My mom was saying how excited she was about this trip. She mentioned that someone at the office was saying "Aren't you afraid of going there?" because the city she was travelling to has been hit with terrorist attacks in recent years. She said she wasn't scared. She didn't want to live her life that way.
Life is full of measured risks. She'd already decided she didn't want to be afraid about this trip.
That's why I decided not to tell my mom about the dream I had. Yes it put me on edge, but I don't have a history of being psychic so I figured what was the point in frightening her? Even if she dismissed it (which she almost certainly would), it would always be with her in the back of her mind. I didn't want her carrying that weight with her on a vacation she was so looking forward to.
The other side of the coin, of course, is: if I have what is potentially life-or-death information about someone else, shouldn't I share it with them? Probably. Maybe. I don't know. If someone knew I was about to die, would I want them to tell me? I... guess... possibly? What would I do differently? Get rid of anything incriminating. But if someone else had a dream that I would die, would I want to know about it? I don't think so. It's hard to say.
At any rate, my mother's plane landed safely back home this evening. I know because I checked the airport's website. I can only assume my mother was alive and aboard.