Saturday, November 18, 2017

Hey, Presto!

I don't have a whole lot to say about underwear. While I think lingerie is nice and all, I get much more of a buzz from seeing a woman in workout gear, for example.

But underwear does, of course, perform a vital function. Though it can be painful, fiddly and just plain annoying, there's nothing quite like underwear for avoiding some aggravating and frustrating incidents.

I'm talking, of course, about Amazon's Adult Filter. That's right, people without underwear on covers have been proven, time and again, to cause your book to be suppressed, or even banned.

So what, pray tell, is an author to do, when the perfect shot for their cover happens to have a woman with no top on? Doesn't matter that there are hands covering those earthquake-and-tornado-inducing buds of erectile tissue mounted upon said fleshy globes. Doesn't matter, even, if her back is to us. If she ain't wearin' a bra, then in the Adult dungeon she goes. (Wait...that sounds kinda hot...)

Well, in answer to the first part of the previous paragraph, what an author has to do, generally, is ask their cover artist to sneak some underwear on 'er., as if by magic. Hence the title of this blog.

But in the absence of a Brassierus Appearus spell, I've always found Photoshop gives me all I need to clothe the nekkid. And I thought I'd share some of my examples with ya. A couple of these are rather old—dating back to the first days of the 2012 Pornocalypse, when the tits hit the fan.

Example One
Girls Only: Pool Party by Selena Kitt

Possibly the most aggravating part of this cover being Adult filtered was the fact that so many other covers out there at the time had hand-bras, and those covers were NOT filtered. The only difference Selena and I could find was that those other bras were made by male hands. So there was the distinct smack of double standards in the air, as well as (arguably) a soup├žon of homophobia.
In order to get around the issue, I slipped a cheeky bikini top on our braless brunette. It was a tad tricky getting it between the palms and the pillows, but I was very proud of the result.




Example Two
Sybian Club by Selena Kitt

It was a fun construct to get all the various pieces in place with this cover. The initial, rude, version of this cover actually had the main model's underwear in purple, as it is on the chastened version. I kist wanted to show it this way because it was another adjustment I made to ze undies...which is, after all, what this blog is all about! But it was the seated model who was the reason for the kerfuffle at the Adult Filter section of the Zon. Side note, but it was fiddly trying to find images which would hint at a sybian without actually showing a sybian in use. This was a neat enough work-around, I thought. Until the bare-assed-ness brought us down. Still, hey presto! and I pulled some black panties onto seated girl.


Example Three
A Baby for my Billionaire Stepbrother 4 by Cassandra Zara

I believe this li'l baby is unpublished now, but it's another case of sideboob being front-and-centre. Essentially the same solution as for the Pool Party cover. Find a bra and put it on, all the day you'll get good Zon.



Example Four
Someone Different by Gina Kincade

This is the most recent example of ninja tricks fixing commando models. Not only did I get a nice black bra on the ley-dee, I also got a good tatt on the dude!

3 comments:

  1. I don't know how you do this stuff. It's positively magic.

    Truly aggravating that it's necessary, of course. But I guess it helps pay your bills! ;^)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't even know how to tell if my books are being sent to the Adult Dungeon. Probably I have something set on my account to allow me to view "adult" material. The account I search for my books on is under a different name than I use on the books, but they've apparently figured that out since they include at least one anthology (speculative fiction) where I use my own name. I know at least two of my covers from a while ago are transgressors when it come to underwear--but maybe they don't count the back of a torso streaked with soapsuds?

    The editor of another anthology that includes one of my stories is sure her book has been dungeonized, but the cover just shows headshots, and the content is quite similar to that of my books, so I don't know what's going on.

    At least my newest BLE anthology's cover is quite explicit about what's being worn ( a bathing suit) because the woman lying face-down on the sand is having her shoulder strap tweaked by another woman. (Strangely--or not--the prostrate woman looks amazing like the non-prostrate one on the cover of Best Women's Erotica. Ah, those stock photos! )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The easiest way I know to check if you're in the dungeon or not is with salesrankexpress.com – you enter your pen name and search, and it shows all books associated with that pen name (including anthologies and, in my case, books where authors have listed me as cover artist). As you scroll through, any titles which have been filtered show up with a big red word next to them: ADULT.

      Delete