Friday, January 8, 2010

Voted Worst Dressed, 1987

To all you lovely people back in high school who told me time and again that my lips were too big, my face was too long, my rear was too wide, and my wardrobe was so god-awful horrible that I deserved to be voted "Worst Dressed" my senior year, I present the following evidence:

Exhibit A: My favorite "ugly" dress.

Exhibit B: Me, wearing my favorite "ugly" dress.

Darlings, over twenty years later, we still look fine.

Case closed.


Helen E. H. Madden is a connoisseur of funky t-shirts, stripy socks, and ugly dresses. She was indeed voted "Worst Dressed" in her senior year of high school by a bunch of Izod-wearing freaks who went around with sticks up their butts. When she's not busy looking fabulous... oh hell, when does this woman ever not look fabulous?!


  1. Thank you, Icepick. I will be bringing my favorite dress to Balticon this year ;) I can't wait to see the reactions.

  2. Helen,

    That really is a lovely dress and beautifully modelled.

    The class of '87 clearly knew nothing.



  3. You had me at "stripy socks"!

    Lookin' goooooood!!

  4. Ash,

    I really do love that dress. I'm planning on wearing it to a few readings this year. I want to burn my image into people's memories, and I think this will do the trick!

    Have a wonderful weekend, you lovely man!

  5. Jeremy,

    I continually work on my collection of t-shirts and socks. They're the best fashion items for the best price. I am the proud owner of a set of red and white thigh-high stockings that look absolutely lovely with my knee-high combat boots.


    Have a wonderful weekend!

  6. Helen,

    You go girl! You definitely have the attitude to pull that dress off. : )

    As for T-shirt collections, hell ya! When I go on vacation I add to my collection. Most of mine are from zoos, festivals, etc ... though. I own very few plain shirts, but nothing I would describe as funky. LOL


  7. Michelle,

    One of my favorite t's comes from the musical "Wicked." Printed across the bust line in fancy script are the words "Defy Gravity!"

    If you want really funky t-shirts, try Most of my t's come from there, and they're all... special. My favorite so far is the one that says, "Imagine me, a pirate ninja, riding a zombie unicorn..."

    And thank you for the lovely complement! Have fun this weekend!

  8. Helen, Thanks for the link. : ) I want the Birds and Bees one. LOL

    Have you checked out Most of them are bleh, but there are a couple that I wouldn't mind having.


  9. You look like fun.

    Oh - I did a crit for your love bug story at ERWA. Hope it helps.


  10. Michelle,

    If you like the shirts, you might like some socks to go with them. is where I get my stripy tights and other fun footwear.

    And I will certainly take a look at T-shirt Hell ;)

  11. Garce,

    Thank you kind sir! I hope I am fun. And I've got your crit. Your comments are always helpful, dearest man. I rely on crits to tighten up all these stories I have to turn out for the podcast!

  12. Hi, Helen,

    I love the dress, especially with you in it!

    And now I know what to get you for your birthday or should see the T-shirts they sell on the street here!

    Short, sweet and to the point!


  13. Lisabet,

    Oh yeah, send me some t-shirts! I have a convention to go to this weekend, and I'm already struggling to decide which shirts to pack for the trip. Should I bring my Anxiety Girl shirt? Or how about the one that says, "Imagine me, a pirate ninja on a zombie unicorn..."?

    Decisions, decisions. I am bringing that dress though. I have a reading Saturday night and want to make an impression on the audience ;D

    Hope you had a wonderful weekend, and thank you for the lovely complement!


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