Friday, February 26, 2010

Imagination FAIL!

Dear fancy schmancy digital art magazine to which I am subscribed,

Sexy = half-naked female.

FAIL! This is the message you have been putting out consistently since I first became a subscriber and with this month's issue, you have once again seriously disappointed me. I have been a loyal buyer of your magazine ever since the fourth issue. I was blown away by the amazing artwork and tutorials on digital art packed in each issue. Never before had I seen a magazine dedicated to sci-fi, fantasy and horror 2D digital art. You were the first, the best, the most unique computer graphics and I just had to have you!

Pin-up art = even more half-naked female (but never any males).

FAIL AGAIN! When I received this month's issue in the mail, I could only roll my eyes and try not to gag. A whole issue devoted to female pin-up art? Why? Don't you people already publish enough images of sexy gals using big guns/swords to tear apart the bad guys? Why do you insist on doing this? Why do you cling to the idea that only half-naked women make for good art subjects? Science fiction, fantasy, and horror consist of so much more! Like aliens and hunky men in spandex and rocket ships and hunky men in leather and unicorns and hunky men in tights and monsters and did I mention hunky guys in loin clothes! Yeah, occasionally you publish a cover with a cool dragon on it, and there was that one time you put a man on the cover. Remember that issue? It was a samurai, dressed from head to toe in armor. The very next issue, my subscriber's copy showed up with a cover image of a buxom blond in a too-tight t-shirt canoodling with a robot and on the inside your editor crowed to high heavens about how groundbreaking you'd been by putting a guy in full armor on the cover just the month before. NOT! Throwing me one image of a guy in armor does not equal groundbreaking when the ground is already littered with images of half-naked women in seductive poses. Seriously, why don't you get this?

I don't know what your problem is, fancy schmancy digital art magazine. It's not like you don't have plenty of women on staff. Even your current editor, is female. Yet your female contributors consistently put out sultry images of women with distorted proportions and barely-there wardrobes and not once do they give me a hot guy in leather pants or a loin cloth. In all the time I've been subscribed to your magazine, and I can only recall one -- yes, just one -- image of a sexy male. It was a reader contribution, a lovely piece done in art nouveau style. Why don't we see more of that? For that matter, why did you limit your pin-up issue to just women? Why not show us a few images of male pin-ups? Surely you can't tell me such a thing doesn't exist.

Don't get me wrong. I love the technical information in your magazine. Seeing how such amazing artists put together beautiful pieces of digital work is a real learning experience, and one I am willing to pay good money for. But even your technical articles aren't free of gender bias. The series of articles you did on anatomy for artists tended to focus on female anatomy to the exclusion of males. Hell, you even did an article on animal anatomy, but I do not recall you doing an article explaining the very important physical differences in male and female human structure.

Are you afraid of losing readers if you include pictures of men? Is that what the problem is? Because let me tell you, you're about to lose this reader right now. The time is coming for me to decide whether or not to re-up my subscription to your magazine. Honestly, I'm torn over whether I should spend the money. You're not cheap, you know that. And while I love learning about digital art, I hate being constantly snubbed and insulted. The last time I wrote you guys a letter on this matter, I sent it in and you did publish it, but nothing came of it, not even a direct answer from your editor. This time I can't be bothered to contact you directly, because I know you're only going to do two things -- Jack and shit.

One of these days, there are going to be enough artists out there who have grown tired of the never-ending titty-parade, and these artists are going to come together and start to produce meaningful works of male pin-up art. In fact, these artists will be recognized as pioneers in the pin-up genre, and eager fans like me will finally get what they've been clamoring for all along -- images of sexy man wang on a monthly basis for a reasonable subscription cost. Hell, maybe I'll even join them. I think I've learned enough from your schmancy fancy magazine to put together a hottie or two...

Whaddya think?




And that's it for me folks, my final mad feminist rant here on OGG. It's been wonderful fun, but changes in my workload have required me to move on. I'll miss making my weekly post here, but don't worry. The absolutely fabulous Kathleen Bradean will be joining OGG next week. She'll be appearing here on Tuesdays and Michelle Houston will be taking over my spot on Fridays. If you miss me, you can always find me over at or at Thank you all for reading, and I'll see you around!


  1. Oh God, Helen!

    This post just reminds me all the more of how much I'm going to miss you!

    Though I'm not sure that I'd consider a desire to see digital art of hunky guys exactly "feminist"...

    I love your image, by the way. Is it an illustration for The Honeybee?

    Do drop by frequently and visit us!

    Hugs squared,

  2. Helen,

    As Lisabet said, this post is a perfect illustration of why you'll be missed: funny, intelligent and an absolute pleasure to read.

    Good luck with all you current and new ventures. And please don't become a stranger ;-)



  3. Hi Helen!

    The graphic is beautiful. Wish you were sticking around. My all time favorite post of yours is still the one about your hubby passing out after great sex. Perfect.


  4. Beautiful art.

    You are gracious with your praise, as always.

  5. Helen,

    I'll miss you!

    Would you be willing to come back from time to time with a guest post?


  6. What a fabulous letter, Helen! I was practically cheering all the way through!

    Incidentally, your idea about forming/contributing to a conglomerate of artists dedicated to representing sexy male human form sounds magnificent to me. I'd sign up in a second (um, not to contribute — I have not considered drawing my forte. I meant to support)!

    Thank you for the total of your contribution here at Oh Get a Grip, and very best to you.

  7. Lisabet, Ash, Garce, and Michelle,

    Thank you all for putting up with me during my stint at OGG. It was most certainly educational and entertaining, and I will miss posting here.


    Tag! You're it!


    If I can get into a regular schedule of creating male pin-up art, I will be sure to make an announcement. Glad to know someone might be interested!

    Love to all of you,



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